Poker Articles

Greetings P5er's!

I've been a dedicated micro-donk mtt on-line poker grinder since roughly the turn of the century. This experience has opened many doors for me, many of which slammed shut immediately, hitting me in the nose and forehead and causing some nasty bruises, let me tell you!

By now I estimate I've played over 3 million hands and taken 2.9 million bad beats. Thank goodness I've been running hot over the last couple of hours so the stats aren't quite as horrendous as they could be....

Having always been the kind of guy who was way too stupid to take "impossible" as a plausible excuse to give up trying to actually win money playing poker, I've read the forums and watched all the pros play on tv, watched their instructional CDs and DVDs, read their blogs, bought their books, even offered small burnt offerings to pictures of them laid out on my desk.

The culmination of my quest to achieve poker riches has been the winning of 91 mtt's over the course of my humble, yet awkwardly pathetic, poker career. Probably some of you think I'm lying and haven't even won one tourney, except maybe a heads up SnG or something. Others are thinking the tourneys only had about 20 or 30 peeps in them and most of them were mentally challenged. I beg to differ. Most of the mtt's had at least 35 peeps and only half the field were at all mentally challenged. You can look it up. Anyway....

That number of wins doesn't equate to greatness, rather to my tenacity and lack of perception that my feat is roughly equal to the theory that if you lashed a million monkeys to a million typewriters for a long enough time, eventually one of them would type out the complete works of Shakespeare completely by random chance.

However, being a great fan of pain and suffering, I've persisted with this even up to the present time. And that's even with the grim knowledge I'm still a hopeless donk who is always going to get sucked out on just at the bubble, my AA crushed by a flopped straight flush by some smart-mouthed little pre-pubescent punk who insta-called pre-flop with J-9 suited.

The real question for you the reader is, why did I bother to read this far? No, I'm sorry, the actual real question is Why did I bother to write this far? No, actually I think we're both wrong! I think the real question is: what, if anything, do I have to offer this community that is of a worthwhile, positive, enlightening, profitable, plus +ev nature?

Sadly, the answer is probably little or nothing. But that almost insignificant detail shall not deter me from posting bloggish type entries occasionally, even though this first post will doubtless be plenty enough to hold most of you for the rest of your lives. And to those of you who feel that way, god speed!

As for those who dare tread deeper into the mind of a micro-donk with true delusions of grandeur, I humbly invite you to watch for my next entry....

Until then, may all my cards be live and all Your cards be totally like dead.

2Slick