Online Poker Tournament Rankings

Thanks to the wonderful internet I was given the opportunity to get backed at a level of poker I wouldn normally never be able to play..   And there are always horror stories about backing and backers.. I would like to say the only horror story here is the horse. I wont give the persons name who backed me unless he wants to comment but he contacted me and we had a deal to play 12/180's.  He allowed me to view some HH's of his he viewed some HH's of mine. Basically gave me the tools to suceed.. And I cant do it. Im pretty much a failure at all aspects of life. And this is no different.  I win a couple. And its pretty much non stop bullshit after that.. 100 buy in downswing? Twice in 300 games? CMON..  Its bullshit.   Doesnt matter what I do.. Get my money in good.. Lose.. Get my money in bad.. Lose.. Flip? lose..

Im sorry I dont take losing very well. You would think I would considering I do it all the time so I should be used to it. But I cant. When you lose 100 games in a row.. You dont see any light at the end of the tunnel..   All you see is your BR go from 2200 to 1200 and you realize that your not going to win ever again and your going to lose all the money.

But in short this is to thank the person who actually took a shot on me and Im sorry I failed and ruined whatever good reputation I have in poker.. Which is fine. I deserve it anyway.. Most likely going to close my accounts. 

This is my first attempt at serious making some money at cash games.. I really want to do this.  I want to make money..   I work at Foxwoods as a Table Games Dealer..    This past few weeks have been so hard for alot of people there..  They laid off 700 people.. And what sucks even more is that there was no rhyme or reason to how they laid them off..   I know of at least 20 Floor Supervisors who have been there since day 1   15 years ago..  And lost their jobs.. Good People. Good Employees. With familes.. Gone..   Everyone is on edge..  Am I next?

So with that being said.. I worry about my future..   Im 35. I have no real education 2 years of college..    What happens if im next?  IM fucked pretty much..    I dont want to move and I dont have the financial ability to do so at this time. (My own stupidity I like to spend money).   So what exactly am I saying?   Im not saying I want to be a professional poker player if I lose my job..  I dont..    But what i want to do.. Is make money so I have extra to fall back on in case I have to move..  I do have a marketable skill in the casino industry.. I deal craps.. Experienced craps dealers can get jobs anywhere.     But I would have to move I think. And having never lived on my own I need some cash to fall back on. And to get setup.. 

So this is where Im trying to do this right..   I think my job is safe.. Hopefully for awhile..  I do good work.. But in my spare time Im going to be playing alot of cash games..     12-16 Tables...   As of right now I have 30 buy ins for 25NL.. That should be sufficent until I have enough to get to 50NL and etc etc. My goal is to be able to multi-table 1/2NL online. 12 Tabling 1/2NL you can make a pretty good sum of money long term. Im pretty sure people make a living playing 200NL..  Im not looking for that. Just to make a side income.


Also having never had this much money online ever. I have to keep emotions in check..   Since I play low limits. I usually keep only about 200 online at once..   And if i lose it oh well..  If I got over like 300 or so I would cash out some..  I dont want to build up to 2000 then go on tilt and sit at 10/20 NL and lose it..  Ive heard the stories of people doing it.  That wont be me.




AF




I had a setback in this..  Its my own fault. I again just cant seem to emotionally handle the ups and down of this shit..  And really there is no reason for it.. Basically I cashed out everything I had in my Stars account.. Which was only like 718 bucks.. But I started with 25.. And I was up to a G. And its just dumb..  I was smart to cash it out. Cause I would have lost it all no doubt. Basically I sit at 100NL for a bit at 5 tables..   Just wanted to play a bit..  First effin hand. I lose a buy in.. First hand.. KK<99. So I lost another buy in and was so steaming I was either cash it out or lose it.. So I took it off..  Plus I could use the money for vacation.. Leaving for California on Monday.

It sucks cause I was playing so good for a week straight. I was a machine..   For someone who plays low limits  10 bucks and under and 50NL and under and not a ton of volume. Winning a grand in a week is pretty good. I havent played as many MTT's or 180's as I usually do. But Ive shipped a 2.20 180 when I had 240 at 50/100..  I Ft'd a 10 180 when I only had 716 chips at 75/150 after losing KK to 77 on a xx7K7board.      Went deep in a Daily 30K only to bust 18th AK<A2..  Oh well..    I had a very nice month according to OPR for me.

So I guess we will try again at some point.  I acutally enjoy playing low limit cash. 25NL  50NL..  Playing 15 tables.. Its very easy.  The play is pretty bad..  You get the regulars. But once you play a few sessions you recognize them immediatly. Plus you rake up some FPP's Which come in handy when you have no money online.     I had about 2000 FPP's.. I played a few 210FPP sattys to get a few T Dollars..  Then shipped a DS last night for 215 T Dollars..    So back to the 4.40's for a bit.  Cya  AF