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BigHems gives tips on how to pwn!!![ return to main articles page ]

By: Brian    [See all articles by Brian]
Published on Nov 2nd, 2005
Well well well, look who came crawling back!

YOU! To read my newestest post. It has been a while. I’ve been lurking around the boards. Like a shark. Beware of the sharks. Pocketfives.com. I’ve been swimming around the ranked players board and players to watch. Adam told me I would be up there in the next update. You see, there is something about a player like me. I understand things. I study the game. <READMORE>

Anyway.

I joined the bandwagon. That gidders fellow got me thinking about my sit n go game. Just thought you would like to know how a real player plays the plays while playing the player and not the game but the player.

OK OK OK… I just sat down for my first session of my MONSTER BIG HEMS (not that stupid gidders) SNG CHALLENGE. W00T W00T W00T! Triple fist pump chair spin!!! (one of the most important parts of playing online poker is a good chair) I like to extend my legs and bring them in to bring me back to my days in physics. Torque= Aces * acceleration / pot odds^(equity).

OOPS!!! Forgot I’m not a super skool teacher like seal or whoever that weird looking dude is!!! LOL!!! K so I open pokerstars, my new home site for sighting siteless nubs! Spell things inconsistently to throw off your donk opponents!!! I mix up my play and spelling.

OK OK. I open up 12 tables just like gidders says to. My 15 inch 800x 600 resolution moniter is plenty big. I perfectly place all my $50+5 sngs so that I can see a corner of each of them. Now is when the fun starts!! YES YES YES. The cards are in the air. I bumped them off the table I'm sitting at. Get the wife to pick them up.

BAD THINGS HAPPEN GUYS. IT IS INEVITABLE for guys like us that aren’t bax. We have to learn that we may sometimes not win a sng. I know I know. People say you can win every one. Remember to stay focused. What I do when I lose one is to take a 10 minute break.

BUT BIG HEMS?!?! You are playing 15 sngs!!!

NUB.

I know.

I am an advanced player.

I busted out of 3 when I came back from the blinds last time. TRY THIS THEORY, your mind will be clear! I have taken 3 10 minute breaks during writing this article… fuggin donk opponents didn’t realize I had them s00t dominated.

Speaking of s00t dominate. That was my pokershare name. EDITORIAL EDITORIAL DON’T EDIT THIS ADAM.

CONTROVERSY CONTROVERSY.

The end.

Try some of my teachings out. Come to BigHems.com. Don’t just play, play. Lose. But have fun doing it. QUADRUPLE CHAIR SPIN WHILE MAKING IT GO UP AND DOWN.

BIG HEMS OUT
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