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Dont misquote the gospel![ return to main articles page ]

By: Hogan24
Published on Jan 25th, 2005
Ok, so not really the gospel, but so many people mess these up, I thought it’d be fun to post these quotes from Rounders up here as a quick reference guide. Oh yea, and even though I watch it, you'll have to excuse me if I forget to post the cheese stained quotes from TILT on here.

Mike McDermott:
  • <LI>Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.

    <LI>If you're too careful, your whole life can become a f*****' grind. <READMORE>

    <LI>The truth is I can always find games, though. Easy games, tough games, straight games, crooked games, home games. I could turn this truck onto the Jersey turnpike and be at the Taj in two hours.

    <LI>In Confessions of a Winning Poker Player, Jack King said, "Few players recall big pots they have won -- strange as it seems -- but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career." Seems true to me, 'cause walking in here I can hardly remember how I built my bankroll, but I can't stop thinking how I lost it.

    <LI>Why does this still seem like gambling to you? I mean, why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY SINGLE YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas? It's a skill game, Jo.

    <LI>Well, you feeling satisfied now, Teddy? 'Cause I can go on busting you up all night.

    <LI>I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the f*****' Mirage. </LI>
Worm:
  • <LI>You know what -- f*** you and your never-ending string of boats, okay?

    <LI>Mike
    Things haven't been that smooth on the home front -- so, tone it down a little.

    Worm
    Tone what down, motherf*****?

    <LI>Just like the sayings says, you know?. In the poker game of life, women are the rake. They are the f*****' rake.

    <LI>Where did you come up with the scratch for that? You've been rolling fags in the Village again, haven't you?

    <LI>Hey! If you want to see this seventh card you're gonna stop speakin' f*****' Sputnick.

    <LI>And the best quote from the entire movie:
    WORM
    You know what cheers me up when I'm feeling s***ty?

    MIKE
    What?

    WORM
    Rolled up aces over kings.

    MIKE
    Is that right?

    WORM
    Yeah. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them.

    MIKE
    Yeah?

    WORM
    Stacks and towers of checks I can't even see over. Playing all-night high-limit Hold'em at the Taj, "where the sand turns to gold."

    MIKE
    F*** it, let's go.

    WORM
    Don't tease me.

    MIKE
    Let's play some f*****' cards
    </LI>
Knish:
  • <LI>You're making a run at it, aren't you? Rolling up a stake and going to Vegas.

    <LI>I was actually gonna try and make some real money tonight, but in honor of Mike's Ali-like return to the ring, I'll sit with you all for a while.</LI>
Teddy KGB:
  • <LI>Very aggressive. A new day, and you won't be pushed around. But I reraise -- 5000.

    <LI>Just like a young man, coming in for a quickie. I feel so unsatisfied...

    <LI>Fine, it's a f****** joke anyway. After all, I am paying you with your money…..Your money, I am still up twenty grand from this last time I stick it in you.

    <LI>You on a draw, Mike? Go away, this one is not good for you. And in my club, I will splash the pot whenever the f*** I please.

    <LI>This son of b**** -- all night, he check check check. He trapped me!

    <LI>He beat me...straight up. Pay him...pay that man his money.

    <LI>It hurts doesn't it? Your hopes dashed, your dreams down the toilet. And your fate is sitting right besides you.</LI>
</READMORE>
 

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