When I first walked into a poker room when I was eighteen years old I was fascinated by the difference in all the people there. I saw degenerate gamblers, drunks, really quiet types, people who couldn't shut up if their life depended on it, and everything in between. I would see older gentlemen who played a very tight game, yet would leisurely talk with everyone when they were out of the hand, thus providing them a social outlet and a small profit to pad their retirement each day. I saw people that came there every day who seemed to want to do nothing else but bitch about their bad luck. I met a lot of businessmen who just wanted to relax after a hard day's work, and didn't care how much they lost in order to feel some kind of relaxation. I would see young men who talked a great game, but never seemed to make any money when they sat down. Sure, they could talk strategy, but the truth was most of them had real jobs that they would never mention, and essentially all they had found in poker was a really expensive way to play pretend every day.

I never wanted to be any of those types though, because in my opinion they never made poker work for them. They instead always gave something to the game, and didn't force poker to give back to them. That is fine, everyone is entitled to their own form of recreation, but I always wanted to use poker to fund the things I wanted in life. I wanted to use poker as an endeavor that would provide me financial freedom and also financial security for myself and those I care about. Furthermore, I never wanted to lose any part of myself to the game, such as my optimism, work ethic, physical shape, or other hobbies.

As I've played poker longer and longer as my only means of income I've come to understand more clearly the difference between gamblers and true winners in this game, because I have played the role of both persons. When I was nineteen years old and I first seriously started playing poker tournaments, I found a way to become both a compulsive gambler and a winner. Poker was still something I had only been doing professionally for less than a half a year at that time, and my enthusiasm for the game was bewildering. When I took first in a tournament it still felt like catching the game winning pass, or hitting the winning home run. The money in my cashier's window and that little support email saying "you finished first place in..." gave me a sense of accomplishment and victory I felt very seldom being a geek growing up.

I would wake up every day excited to play. I found a friend who was also playing a large volume as well and together we took on poker tournaments as a project of sorts. Each day we would talk about what we tried, what worked, what didn't work, and the next day we would try to do things better. He introduced me to the re-steal before everyone and their mother was doing it, and together we used the little more knowledge we had in tournaments to move up from $20.00 180-mans to the biggest tournaments online.

I didn't at the time really think about the role poker played in my life, because the pieces had fallen together so easily. I never really had a large downswing in tournaments for a long time, and when I did start feeling pressure I'd just go back to grinding SNGs for a few days, and then eventually my luckbox would crank back up again. Randomly, I met a girlfriend in Seattle who was studying to be a doctor, and could understand my busy schedule because she had one as well. I found college classes in my area that were easier to fit in during mornings. Without trying I'd found a way to balance poker and life.

It was not until my girlfriend and I broke up because she moved away from Seattle, and I went on my first massive downswing that I really had problems balancing everything. I went to my first live tournament in Manila and finished 13th, after I assembled a huge chip stack and found a way to dust it off like it was nothing. I let the close call affect me negatively, and it started to show in my results. Day after day I put a minus next to my records. Instead of taking charge and re-evaluating things I simply kept playing; expecting things to change. Once my quarter ended at school I didn't sign up for new classes. I just played all day every day. My play became erratic. I was constantly angry, and instead of blaming myself I got into the pattern a degenerate gambler gets into, blaming my own misfortune on terrible luck instead of my own mistakes. I stopped exercising as much, started drinking more, and gained weight. I watched the money I had built up quickly disintegrate.

At some point something inside my head finally said, "You need to get a grip Alex or you're not going to be playing this game for much longer." I had burned through 50% of my bankroll in two months, a bankroll that took me eight months to put together. A good friend of mine who had mentored me previously on many aspects of professional gambling pointed out how tournaments were a very long-term investment, and that the variance could be quite high in them, and that if I wanted to rid myself of this bipolar existence I was going to have to find a more consistent bread-and-butter game.

I started learning about cash games after that, and soon I found a way to lead a more balanced life again, incorporating poker. Tournaments became fun again after I stopped playing them every day. I accepted the fact that after playing poker nonstop for years I couldn't play the volume I once did, and that in order to keep poker interesting and to keep making money I'd have to change things up once in a while. I decided to take a financial sponsor on when it came to tournaments, and split my time between a smaller online and live schedule. I also decided to make my main game No Limit Hold'em cash games, because while it didn't carry the prestige tournaments held it made me more money more consistently and allowed me to be more balanced emotionally in day-to-day life.

Now, looking back, I realized there was nothing really when I became a professional that really prepared me for the whole storm that was my first couple of years playing. There was very little written about shaping your life around being a professional player, as it still was a fairly new profession. While I am thankful for both the bad and good that came, as it taught me quite a bit about myself and who I am, there are many people who do not survive the serious trials they face in this game. A large part of the reason is just because they never considered the big picture, and what role their game selection plays in their life and overall success in poker.

If you're going to be a professional poker player, or approach it as a serious moneymaking venture in addition to a job you already have, you are going to have to evaluate the role poker plays in your life. Many people believe after a certain point they are untouchable in poker, but they do not realize that their worst downswing could be more than an expected standard deviation, which assumes you're playing your normal game. If you have been running bad for months it is likely frustration and doubt in your own abilities is seeping into your decision making process, which will do a great job of extending your bad run longer than you could have ever expected. There are players I play with every day who I know are not making money at poker and they have not been making money for months or years even, but they refuse to change their habits.

Why would anyone continue to play poker even if they are not making money, yet profess to be a professional? Well, the answer is obvious, they are not playing to make a profit. Sure, they may lie to themselves and say they are doing it to make money, but the games they are selecting are not the most profitable. They have other reasons they are not acknowledging.

* This is Part 1 of 2 of Assassinato's Game Selection and Your Lifestyle article. Read Part 2

Alex Assassinato Fitzgerald is a professional poker player, entertaining poker writer and MTT/Cash Games instructor at PokerPwnage, a top-rated poker training website. Our members can receive a free 6-month subscription to PokerPwnage by visiting our Free Poker Training page.

-----