As a young poker player in a relationship, I find that I am constantly involved in “coinflip situations." Enter a 9:00 P.M.tourney and get yelled at by my girlfriend for not hanging out with her OR take her out to eat and watch a chick flick on the couch. Enter the FTOPS Main Event OR go on a roadtrip to her Dad’s Birthday BBQ.Just as I calculate the costs and benefits of playing a pair of queens against A-K for a big pot early in a tournament, I weigh my options and do the math: <READMORE>
If I play in the 9:00 tourney, I will have some fun and may score a big cash. However, I will be dealing with an unhappy girlfriend and will most likely be sleeping alone for the next few nights. Result: Short term -EV.
In the second scenario, I have a chance at $1.5 million in the prize pool, but I will be known to her relatives as the degenerate poker playing boyfriend. Also, I will undoubtedly be in the doghouse for weeks, not days. Result: Short term -EV, Long term -EV.
This got me thinking, “How can I make it so that poker is not viewed by my girlfriend as something that divides us, but as something that can bring us together?” The answer was simple enough. I had to try and get her interested in poker as well. I had mentioned teaching her how to play several times over the last few months, and she seemed interested, but being a law student, her time was also very limited. After her finals were over, she wanted me to teach her how to make some money playing poker. This excited me, because I would get a chance to introduce her to a game that I thoroughly enjoy while allowing me to get back to the basics, which could potentially really help my own game.
At the beginning of our lessons, my girlfriend didn’t know what hand beat another, what a blind was, or what a flush was. To say she was a novice was an understatement. We started off simple; I taught her which hands beat what, what a blind was, and eventually what it meant to be in position. At first she was overwhelmed by all the different theories and ways to play a particular hand in a certain situation. Soon enough, she was playing play money SNG's and cash games (with my direction), showing quick improvement in her understanding of key concepts. To my surprise and delight, she was quickly able to start playing on her own, enjoying the game just as much as I do.
We now have conversations over bad beats she took and how she could have played a hand differently. She even started watching some of the WSOP events and Poker After Dark after telling me a year ago how she didn’t understand how anyone could watch poker on television. She recently started playing $1 Turbo SNG’s on Full Tilt, showing early signs of succes. Last night, I watched her play in a 90 man $1 SNG in which she ended up placing 4th. While a profit of $6 for 3 hours of play is not exactly crushing it, we are both thrilled at how much she's improved over the past month. I now find myself regularly watching and playing poker tournaments with my girlfriend, rather than getting into fights with her over poker.
I've also found that by teaching my girlfriend the fundamentals of poker, I've polished up my own game as well. I am constantly telling her that bad beats happen and all you can do is get your money in good. Through that, I find it’s easier to take the suck outs and bad beats that poker offers with more of a smile instead of a fist pound on the computer desk.
The point of this article is that if you enjoy doing something, introduce it to those that you love. They may join you, and you could have a poker partner for life. If they decide they're not into it, that's ok too. Either way, I guarantee that through open communication and some effort, poker and relationships can thrive together.
Take that Dr. Phil!
-Kyner
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