To view a situation clearly and objectively can be one of the hardest things in poker. As poker players, we constantly read and hear about the need to distance ourselves from our emotions and focus on making the best decision in every situation on a mathematical and purely analytical basis with no emotional considerations taken into account. This is rarely easy, but it’s often necessary. However, there are times when it’s not and knowing when to listen to your emotions can be a valuable skill.

Of course, I’m not really referring to at-the-table situations here – it’s hard to think of a circumstance where your emotional reaction to a hand or situation could be useful enough to actually prove a benefit rather than a hindrance. When considering strategic decisions, emotions should be set aside. But when considering off-the-table scenarios and external factors influencing our macro-level approach to poker, emotional stimuli can be extremely informative.

Deciding on poker’s role in your life

Many people, when starting out in poker, feel a strong urge to dedicate as much time as they can to the game. I’ve been through this process myself – you start playing the game, realize it’s something you really enjoy and are interested in, and suddenly every hand you play is a learning process and your passion for the game seems to grow each time you play.

You start to figure out ways to make poker a bigger part of your life – playing a session after work each night, taking days off to put in 12-hour tournament sessions, and dreaming of what it might be like to play poker for a living.

But the problem with this scenario is that it has no balance on the other side of the equation. It’s hard when you first get into poker to have someone there to tell you that after a certain point the time you spend on poker can have diminishing returns or that diving in and playing 24 tables to get more volume before you’ve even become a winning player really isn’t a great idea.

When you start out in poker, it’s important not to let your emotional attachment to the game lead you down the wrong path. As with anything else, poker’s role in your life should change or grow over time depending on what’s required of you in terms of work-life balance – don’t let it immediately flood your life in the early stages because that could do your more harm than good.

Understanding your true motivations

We all have different reasons why we play poker. Some of us play because we love having the opportunity to compete with others on a mental battlefield. Some of us play because we enjoy the analytical and strategic aspects of the game. Some of us simply play because we know the game gives us the opportunity to make money. For most of us, it’s some combination of all three, but in general we all have some motivations that run deeper than others.

It’s important to pay attention to these motivations since they will give you insight into emotional issues that could contribute to tilt or mental game problems at the tables and they will help you decide how to integrate poker into your life in an appropriate way, as mentioned above. If you’re mostly into the game for the money, for example, knowing this will help you to anticipate that you’ll probably run into some periods of low motivation when you hit a downswing, or if you’re into the game for the competition, this might help you to avoid allowing your ego to draw you into unnecessary battles with other players.

The bigger picture

The longer you spend in the game of poker, the more you’ll learn about what you want to get out of it and how you want to approach it. In these respects, everyone is different – some people want to make poker the focal point of their life and fuel their passion for the game as much as possible. Some people, like myself, are not entirely fulfilled by this and require a greater balance between poker and other things in life. The important thing to remember is that neither of these two approaches is correct or superior to the other in any way.

Poker players like to conceptualize decisions in terms of expected value, or EV – in most instances, this refers to an at-the-table decision, but it can also be used to categorize decisions away from the table. You can think of things in terms of life EV – the expected benefit to your life of a certain decision. This will help to add some perspective to the decisions you make regarding how to approach poker.

Certainly, deciding to spend time with your friends instead of playing poker on a Sunday is not a decision likely to make you more money at the poker table, but that doesn’t mean it’s a wrong decision. Poker is not the be-all and end-all of life and even if you’re somebody who’s extremely passionate about the game and looking to play professionally one day, you won’t get there by overloading yourself and burning out after two years.

You’ll get there by working hard and maintaining a long-term perspective that allows you to continue playing and continue improving, so don’t let your desire to adhere to the traditional poker logic of ignoring emotional input lead you down the wrong path.