Tomorrow I am testing children for the state in the morning. They are using the computer lab I work in to test and have closed it for the day, but I know they are on the same schedule I am so they will be out of the room close to lunchtime. My afternoon classes, who have already suffered more than their share of cancellations, have a chance to use the room. I have lunch duty immediately after the testing and then there are the classes so it would be a day without a break for me, and to do it I need to turn a blind eye to school policy. But these kids need the computer time. <READMORE>I know what I should do. What I will do is still unwritten. I feel in my soul what is unquestionably the right thing to do. Yet my actions still may dictate otherwise. How is it that I can be so deep down convinced of something, yet still do the opposite?
This same question pops up in my poker game all too often. I know that my opponent has the nuts and I know I should fold, but I still call. I know I am drawing too thin but the big pot still lures me in. I know, but...
"I know, but..." Those three words have cost more people more money than I can count. Even when poker instincts and poker smarts lead me to believe I am right, at times I am compelled to do what is wrong.
I hope you’re not looking here for any answers. I am just making observations about myself. But I will ask the question for you. How does any introspective person try to get his actions more in line with his beliefs? What can I do to make sure I follow my own advice?
In everyday life knowing what is right is at times a burden. All too often what I should do turns into what fits into my busy schedule. I find myself sadly shaking my head more and more lately at the little things that I am forced to leave undone. And then there are the times that everything goes completely out the window, but we won’t go there.
And, where my health is concerned, I should be more pro-active. For instance, I am tired of describing myself as a fat guy. Since I try to be an honest man, the only way I can accomplish this is to either shut up or diet. Unfortunately I can manage neither.
The problem with being a “foodie” is that you tend to gather good food around you. When there is a fresh apple pie from Delicious Orchards sitting on the counter, What I should do is quickly replaced by shut up and pour the milk. And my diet suffers.
What I still need more of is exercise. But I was stuck in a rut so deep I couldn’t even see the daylight. I had to get off my fat rump and do something – anything. Just as long as I stopped sitting and lying around so much. I had to do something unexpected – so I just literally jumped up and did it. Three weeks later and ten pounds lighter I am still doing it. Chalk one up for the good guys.
Sometimes I think that what I should do is also about giving something back to those who have given to me. In my long association with p5s I have gotten many things, the most important of which is friendship. I know this is only a token, but I wanted to do something, so I made my first video at thepokercamp.com free to anyone who reads this.
It is an old video I made during the stars WCOOP’s when I was still working for realpokertraining. I ended up taking 40th ish in the razz event and I recorded most of the seven hours it took to get there. It was meant as a razz from soup to nuts series and the first part is mostly basic razz and stud tourney play in general. The first half hour of what will be six half hour pieces is yours free at:
http://www.thepokercamp.com/free_video/
It is my intention to make the entire series free to all p5ers, but I am not one of the owners of the site and they want to make money. Maybe we can do something for a limited time, but we’ll see. For now enjoy the vid as my thank you to p5s. And, as for me, I am trying my best to make what I should do into what I do.
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