In almost thirty years of casino poker play I never had a losing year. Oh, I had long dry spells sometimes. Dry weeks, or even months would go by, to be sure. But I always came up ahead of the game at year’s end bookkeeping. In almost thirty years of casino poker play I never had a losing year, until this year.So what’s wrong with my game?
It’s possible that it’s just variance. A 12 month period without a positive total is certainly within a standard deviation or two of my lifetime average. Knowing the cold math facts don’t help with my emotional distress, so I have my doubts about my play. I talk with a lot of live and online pros and they tell me that I don’t suck.
Still it is possible that I suck. If I do, then I should try to improve. As a teacher I know the best way to improve anything is open minded education. I’ve watched all the videos on three popular online training sites and I have read dozens of books from S/S by Doyle Brunson to Winning Poker Tournaments One Hand at a Time by Rizen, apestyles, and PearlJammer. I talk poker with a lot of players I respect and I really listen to and try to incorporate their ideas. I am constantly trying to improve.
So maybe it’s the situation. My bad streak begins all the way back when Paradise Poker closed their tables to Americans. Paradise was always my bread and butter site and I really miss them. The only site I play on now is Pokerstars and I’ve never been able to get ahead of the game on Stars. Not my favorite situation to say the least.
As I see it, the truth is that all these things and more play a part. There will always be variance, and bad situations, and events transpiring to make a player lose their confidence in their game. It’s how you react to it that defines who you will be as a player.
Variance is going to kick you in the head sometimes when it hurts the most. When my pair of aces lost to my opponent’s pair of queens knocking me out in 25th after a long, great tournament it is variance at its finest. How do I deal with it? I take some comfort in my knowledge of statistics. For every time that happens, over the long run, there will be a time when winning that pot makes me the chip leader with 24 left. When objectively analyzed optimal play leaves me on the rail I pay myself on the back and give myself a well earned, “Good play.”
As for dealing with a bad situation, well that always sucks. But experience has taught me that these things are best handled in stages. First you have to identify the bad situation. Don’t laugh, we all know somebody who is in a horrible relationship and just doesn’t see it. Next you have to explore any and all alternatives and workarounds and see if any leave you better off. I have been looking into other card rooms and also playing more live and less online, so I think I am moving in a positive direction. And I am also trying to learn as much as I can about how to beat the games at Pokerstars.
So that just leaves my self-confidence. I am old enough and tough enough to just kick myself in the butt and tell myself to get over it. I’ve been here before and I will be here again. There are so many good things to be thankful for in my life that if my biggest problem is that sometimes I suck at poker then I can live with that. And having some poker playing friends tell me I’m not the biggest loser they know helps a bit too.
I am also doing what I should be doing to improve. And, maybe not so much lately, but over the course of time I still have a nice track record. Maybe it’s time for one of my annual “Giving up poker for life” vacations from the game. Even your favorite thing becomes jaded after a while and a break is in order. Sometimes, after some time away, things look different. As my old, Jewish grandmother used to say, “It can’t hurt.”
The more I think about it the nicer a break sounds too. I had put myself under too much pressure to win a WSOP main event seat this year and the two times I bubbled those satellites still hurt. I’ve lived in New Jersey for a long time and I’ve never been to the Statue of Liberty, so I just booked some tickets for Friday. And, even though the morning $10 rebuy is about to start, I think I’ll take the kids to a movie today.
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