You can read this article on its own, but if you'd like to check out any of the past articles in this series you can find them at this link:

http://www.pokerheadrush.com/category/blogs/alex/

I know a lot of this seems overly complex, but I guess it's just my way to do things.

I took a lot of inspiration from Andre Agassi's book. He described having a desire for linear planning, for a set of goals to just knock down. There's a lot of research that suggests its physically calming to mark things off of a schedule you've planned out.

I felt I could identify with Agassi's obsessive tendencies, his need for order and control.

Also in his book he described a trainer who told him “20 minutes of exercise is all you need each day.” Obviously it was something for his whole life, not being a world-class athlete, but nevertheless the first day they worked together they did 20 minutes. The next day the guy completed kicked his ass for three hours. Agassi felt good about the three hours because in his mind he was going more than the basic quota. He didn't have the endless undefinable goal in mind each day. He had realistic achievable goals.

20 minutes sounds like nothing, but I bet that kind of habit is easy to hold onto for your whole life, and keep you healthy into your senior years.

Even when he felt like crap I imagined he walked into that gym, because 20 minutes sounds like it should be doable every day. 40 hours a week sounds like a walk in the park to me.

But once you get sweating, once you get moving, once the creative juices start flowing, once the grind gets in you – you keep at it. It's just about starting each day, and having an achievable set of goals for even your worst days.

Obsessive types just need goals and standards for themselves, and a minimum to do each week. My chaotic mind needs to know I have structure, because I can't do it on my own. I feel more relaxed when I allocate my obsessive spurts, knowing the allotted time is a part of my formula. I need to know I planned to balance, and that I can stick to it.

That marks the end of this ridiculously long blog. I often do mental re-evaluations privately, but I thought it'd be more thorough and perhaps something different if I wrote it out this time. I feel like I gave myself a good mental check, made a solid plan for myself and hopefully imparted something in my blabbing.

I know it was ridiculously hard for me to focus my energies when I was younger without clear goals. When I feel like I'm just going wherever life takes me and I have no control over it – ugh, I hate it.

I think that's why a lot of poker players get into drugs. We're obsessive people naturally. If you feel you're not working life the way you should or that you're not going after what you set out to do than it is horribly stressful. Maybe you are going after your dreams, but you're doing it in a horribly unbalanced manner that's making other parts of your life suffer, which also causes stress.

I used to drink down my concerns, take pills to calm down my obsessive thoughts. I should have used my paranoia. Make a plan, stick to it, trust it, and go after what's yours.

That's why I just like caffeine these days. I don't care about people doing drugs. Legalize all of them for all I care. But for right now, I just don't like any substance that manufactures a feeling of satisfaction. I should have to earn that by focusing my grind and accomplishing what I set out to do. I need to know that even when it's not coming right away that I'm maximizing the possibility I will succeed with my use of time.

We only get a fixed number of days in this life. Shouldn't we plot them out the same way we constantly refine our lines in a hand?

I'm not saying anyone has to do all this crap to be going somewhere. In fact, a lot of the best poker players are very easy going and would probably kill themselves having to keep to schedules like I need. I wish I could be them, but I'm not that chill. I like plotting. I like getting things done, and maximizing my variety of life bets.

You gotta use that paranoia that got you up.

You think about a guy like Ernest Hemingway. All the balls, all the fire in the world and all the brilliance. It all came with a price though. That same drive that pushes you to write the American classics is also what keeps you twitching up at night. He went to the bottle to calm himself down, and by the time he was in his fifties he was gone. He lost the ability to do what he loved in life, which was writing. His last pieces barely came together, and required the assistance of several editors. He finally lost his race with crazy when he ended up taking his own life.

I used to think it was excessive, being so self-indulgent with your own life that you'd write out your plans and actually announce them to the people you know. But I mean, I'm not cooler than that. I'm a dork, and I need to know what I'm attacking and when and why and for what period of time.

Without a plan I'm wasting my borrowed time. If I waste this chance I have now to take advantage of what I can dream up...I'll be so pissed at myself in ten years.

I gotta get on it.

My Plugs: Check out my vids at Pocketfives Training, hit me up for lessons at assassinatocoaching@gmail.com, see other stuff I write with my friends at www.pokerheadrush.com, and follow my Twitter at TheAssassinato