I have no idea why but I can not seem to play good poker any more.. Maybe it's bad luck but i ploayed my weekly Tuesday night £33 tournament tonight, and i got so tilted really fast like i never have in nearly 3 years of playing poker.
It started so well, i was patient, calm and in a great mindset for poker. I was seated at a table with a good mix of tight and loose players, and I was waiting for the right spots, and pickng up the odd pot when necessary...

Then after a little while & the blinds are 100/200 i get 88 in the BB, a few limpers then Charlie in the SB (a good TAG makes it 1100.
I call, everyone else folds, and the flop comes KK6r. Charlie bets 1300 i call. turn is the 8 (the perfect card)..
Charlie checks, i bet 2300, he calls. river is the TEN of clubs, Charlie cheks again and I shove for ~8k, just under pot size & to put him all-in. He thinks for a long time then folds. After the hand he tells me he had 99 & would have called about a 3K bet.
Now i dont hate the way i played that hand, coinsidering my image is a bit crazy and he might have called me.. I also thought he could have had a K which he slowplayed on the turn and would call with it but OK i thought, & i was happy to win a big pot and take the table chip lead, but a bit frustrated about not getting called / not making a smaller river v.bet.

So we played a few more orbits, i picked up a few small pots and then pick up KTo on the BB, 2 callers & i check. (blinds 200/400) Flop comes AAA(r!)I bet out 1200 hoping to take pot there but also think i have a good hand if i get callers to continue from there. The turn is a 3, SB checks, i bet 1200 again and he min raises to 2400.. i think for a minute and call. River is a 7 & bets 2600 into me. I have 14k left & tank. The raiser calls the clock on me and i'm really really close to calling but figure he's calling the clock to push me into calling so finally fold my King high and he fliips 69o, a total bluff which wins him a big pot.

That hand tilted me but i stay positive, pick up 88 in position, flop is 853, i bet 700 into a 1200 pot and everyone folds. Then i pick up JJ raise 3x preflop, 3 callers & flop is A high i call a tiny bet on the turn and check down the pot with a guy who has A7o so he takes it.

Soon after i get 89s on the button. i raise 3x and the flop comes Tc,Kc,3s, checked to me i bet close to pot size and get one caller, turn is 6s giving me a flush draw & inside straight draw.. checked to me i bet 1200 into ~4k and the same guy calls. At this point i put him on having the club flush draw and in retrospect this was a mistake as his range was clearly wider than this but i knew i was beat, checked it down and mucked.
The guy showed AJ (missed spade nutflush draw) and told me he was folding to any river bet.
I felt sick there cos I played that hand so so badly, lost another big pot that i could have taken down with a simple river bet. after that hand the tilt had totally set in & it really felt like i could do nothing right.

2 hands later i get KJo in the BB, blinds are 200/400 still.. I rasie it to 1000 get 3 callers and flop is 38Kr. I bet 1000 and get 1 caller. turn is a brick and i check for deception (hoping he will bet) and the other guy checks behind.. (not what i wanted).. The river comes an Ace, I bet 2000 and he calls me with A8o.

Poker is sick like this sometimes.. maybe i didnt do that much wrong and on another day these hands would have worked out differently & i'd be sat there with a big stack but tonight its just been bad.
I probably could have sat there and grinded my 8k stack back up, maybe even won the tourney. Blinds were only 300/600 so i wasnt dead!.. But i was really hot, i was super tilted and just wanted to get the flock out of there and shoved allin blind UTG on the next hand. the BB called with 88, i flipped K5o & didnt hit, so shook hands, got in my Mercedes and drove home with loud music on not feeling happy at all.

I don't think the all-in blind was my worst play of the night, and feel i generally played pretty bad and my play deteriorated as i got gradually more & more tilted & by that time i didn't care.

The wierd thing is before i started to get coaching and playing cash games i didnt tilt very often, i could handle badbeats better and could cope with losing a hand, put it behind me and move on but I think the cash game coaching has not only lost me a lot of money learning to play cash but also ruined my tounament game. I really hope i can get this sorted cos right now i cant play good poker. Not online cash, not online tourneys and not live. All of them are bad.

I'm taking the rest of the month off poker to chill out, hit the gym, rest & reflect.
My Tommy Angelo book order has been despatched soon so i look forward to reading that by the pool on a sunlounger and maybe it will help me with my poker mindset!

It's payday from my job soon, so i can re-deposit and start grinding again for August, hopefully with more success, but at least July is my first winning month this year (sort of!), even if it is from rakeback and its a ridiculously small amount I have to look at the positves!

July results:
FULL TILT -$183 (£120)
PKR -$200 (£130)
LIVE +£120
RAKEBACK +$211 (~£135)
TOTAL - +£5 !!

I wonder if that will cover my expenses?

GL everyone.
TRIX