Man, where to start? Guess I'll start off by saying that idk wtf else I can do poker wise right now. I've been going deep in EVERYTHING it seems lately, I just cant fade a draw once I'm down to the final 2/3 tables. I'd say I'm running pretty good honestly, I'm winning races and not taking a shitload of suckouts, but once I'm super deep- bam, I go card dead and then when I finally do get a hand, it doesnt hold.

That being said, I'm already 4.5k in makeup right now...I busted the 1st $2500 stake, and after my backer went over an entire HH from my last FT appearance, he snap-staked me again for $2500. Its so frustrating right now. Bad beat after bad beat deep. Just got KO'd from the $10R mFTOPS since I couldn't fade villians FD for 110 BB pot.

All complaining aside, I'm feeling completely burned out right now- right now, I DONT enjoy playing anymore or firing more up. Just finished my 1st session (52/1770 in the $3R obv) and now I'm just starting my 2nd session. I dont want to. Its just hard not to play when I know I can beat the game and be profitable because I'm only bringing home $400 a week after taxes. Its frustrating seeing all my old friends graduating and buying houses and cars and going on vacations. What do I do? Nothing- I get paid just enough to support my wife and I (she's fulltime in school for nursing right now) pay our bills and thats it. We barely have enough to do anything enjoyable.

I just feel like somethings holding me back from hitting anything big at all pokerwise. I'm only playing since I know I can beat it and I'm better than most av. joes that play, but I'm nothing special. Pretty sure that if I do end up busting this 2nd stake, I'm completely done with poker for a while. I'm completely broke pokerwise (hence getting backed obv) and I hate sngs, so when/if I do go broke, I'm not playing again until I can put at least $1000 on.

Poker takes so much time away from my wife, but I just feel so trapped right now- theres nothing else for me to do to get more money at the moment. I've already applied for 2nd jobs delivering pizza's at 4 places around town (liked doing it in high school, great tips too) and that was over a month ago. Looks like we're stuck being broke til she graduates, I just totally dont feel its fair to her to be making just enough to slide by right now and not have anything left over to do something fun.

/rant i guess