I started playing seriously about three months ago. I have learned so much in these past three months and have grown to respect the people who do this for a living. I've come to realize that not everyone is cut out to play full time and perhaps I am not built for it. I realize that in order to crush any game it requires having a unique perspective. You must realize that not every session will be profitable and good play is not always rewarded. This is poker, not football. Variance is real and exists for all players (except certain sickos who don't play poker, rather just own souls instead).

This game is similar to a beautiful woman with a terrible personality. From the outside she has everything to offer, yet once you get to know her better you realize that she can be brutal, dirty, and cold. I think that to be successful one must actually coexist with this beast and learn that she is not always kind.

I have played about 30-40 mtts and around 500 sngs per month on average since I got serious about the game. I have experienced it all in a micro manner in this short period of time. I have enjoyed success by winning a few small mtts and felt defeat in quite a few FT bubbles and just fails in general. I've learned what it means to not be results oriented. If you base your play strictly on results in the short term you will never make it. Long term perspective and seeing the big picture is key to surviving in this game.

I pride myself on having a passionate drive to become better and not give up despite how soul crushed I may feel sometimes. The only thing I can control is my mentality and my play. Outside of that I can do nothing but learn more each day. I still have quite a bit to learn but I enjoy learning it. Players like myself will never make it in this game without perspective and motivation. So I will strive to continue keeping these thoughts at the forefront of my mind as I grow in this game. Good luck to everyone on the felt and thanks to all who are helping me in my journey to being a little better than mediocre. Staying humbled ftmfw,

Donk In Denial

I only registered for two tournaments today. My girlfriend took the day off so I wanted to spend more time with her this afternoon. I registered for the 8.80 rebuy and 11 rebuy PLO on Stars. I finished 252 in the rebuy for a score of $69.02. I only used $24 on the tournament so I guess that wasn't terrible. I played well and didn't show down a hand for nearly two hours. I lost a huge hand for 80% of my stack on the bubble. I picked up AK on the button and the cutoff raised. I three bet and the BB shoved all in. I was getting about 2.5 to 1 and the BB had been very active so I called. He flipped over KK and the board ran dry. I then chipped back up to 30k. I had about 20 bbs and the cutoff raised my BB. I had 44 so I shoved and he called with 99 and the board ran dry. I was frustrated yet happy with my play. I know that if I continue I'm going to start putting up scores soon.
The PLO tournament was very frustrating in the end. We got down to the final 15 and I was sitting with an average stack when the donk at the table took half my stack on a terrible play. I held JJAK and raised preflop. He flatted for 1/3 his stack and the flop came 10 4 2 rainbow. He shoved and I tanked then called figuring I was well ahead of his range. He held AQ45 and spiked the 3 on the turn to make his straight. In hindsight I could have folded but I knew I was well ahead of his range. After that I battled through and chipped back up a bit until I lost with AAxx all in preflop to the massive chipleader. I cursed myself with a rail call post and JShark had just told me good luck. 20 seconds later I was pushing in my virtual chair and berrated the villian from JJAK hand. I stopped and realized that this was not what I said I would do. I am playing without the tilting emotions and it showed today. I ended up with only a profit of $150 but the confidence I am gaining is worth much more than that. I am now 4/6 itm in PLO tournaments with a win and two final table bubbles. My 11th place finish has me as confident as ever. It was only good for 100 bucks but I am ok with that. There is alot of dead money in low stakes PLO tournaments and I want it... LOL. GL to all and thanks for reading my blog.

Poker is such a funny game to me; the swings, tilt, the joy of winning, etc. If you ponder the concept long enough you will realize that each emotion you experience in life can also be experienced on the virtual felts. For those of you who don't know me my name is Drew and I'm a 23 year old self employed recreational poker player. I am working so that I may have sole ownership of the family business soon. I've been playing poker since I was 19 and fell in love with the game immediately. I deposited $50 and ran it up to $288 my first night playing 1/2 NLHE. I went to bed that night with expectations of making thousands within weeks. The next day I took my roll to the tables and got crushed. I was down to exactly $0.38 playing .01/.02 NLHE but never went broke. I grinded it back up to $20 and was so sick I could barely sleep. The next day I realized I had much to learn about this game. I read a few books and started winning small time and have pretty much done that since.
Fast forward 4 years... Last Saturday I was sitting at home miserably laying on my couch. My girlfriend had left me earlier in the week and I was a broken man. Our business has struggled and I have loaded myself with financial burdens that my salary cannot handle(House payment, Truck payment, Insurance on both, Utilities, etc.) I decided to play the $16.50 $2k PLO gaurantee on Stars and I shipped it for $807. It may not have been a big cash to most but to me it was very important for my psyche. The emotions that I experienced in that tournament were the same as any other life experience. There was joy, despair, frustration, excitement, and a little anxiety. One emotion I never experienced was fear. Over the past few months I've come to realize that fear can really handicap a player's game. Playing with fear will not win you anything. I'm not saying that being a wreckless donk is good either but fear can really hurt your game. I've also learned that taking emotions out of the game is beneficial and is something I'm slowly getting better at.
My girlfriend came back Wednesday. We resolved our issues and I apologized for being a complete ass all the time. My financial situation is much better with her back. I decided to play this afternoon and ran horribly at first but finished 3rd in a turbo for a profit of $250 for the day. Tonight is my friend's going away party. He leaves for the Army next week and so we are going to have a good time before he departs. Tomorrow I plan on grinding for about 8 hrs. I'm hoping that my new mindset will enable me to play a solid game. I wish everyone the best of luck and thanks for reading my blog.