I’m going to do my best to give this story justice but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to in text form. Saturday night after I got some dinner I went back into the poker room and there was a pretty sizable list for 1/2 NL. I put my name on it and saw that there was open seating for one table of PLO8 running in the back of the room. I decided to sit down, having only ever played the game online and done well in some micro MTTs before. I ended up making a little bit of my losses back from the day playing 1/2 NL but I got into an altercation at the table in the process.

As most good stories start, someone made a bad play at the table to spark the fire and in this case it was me. I’ll cut to the chase, 3 players on the turn, I have QJT9ds the board reads Q864 rainbow. Action checked to me and I bet $25 into the pot, one player calls, and then our villain in the story makes it $110 to go. I have about $115 behind after the $110 goes in so I think about it. I thought the guy behind me had a good low and would call and our main villain here was trying to push him off of it. He had shown a pure river bluff against me a few hands before so I think he’s just trying to outplay everyone rather than actually focus on winning the pots. I make the call thinking there was a pretty good chance I had the high right now with these two players in the middle, but was wrong about the guy behind calling as he dumped his hand. Our villain shoved dark on the river, an off suit 9h peels and we chop the pot. Turns out the villain had 75Ax for a straight on the turn and had me pretty well hosed. That’s where our story picks up.

Our villain asks me if I mentioned that I was good at this game earlier. I said I didn’t remember saying that when I was talking earlier and then the sparks started flying a bit more. The villain decided now would be a good time to educate me on how to properly play PLO8 in that spot. Before he got too far into his description I decided I was going to have some fun at this guy’s expense now since he was being a pretty big tool about everything. As he started to explain what I should have done I stopped him and pulled a note pad out of my pocket and started taking notes (I usually have one anyway to make note about big hands for later posting in the forums). At this point the villain, a little taken aback by my prop, just kept going with his explanations of not only the last hand but his bluff hand and why he was able to own me as badly as he did. At this point the table is starting to laugh because I’m actually taking notes as this guy is talking and the absurdity of the situation isn’t lost on them.

After about a minute of this our villain went for his big finish. He says and I quote, “And just one more thing I want you to remember…Steven sucks.” I guess he thought he was smart having looked at the dealer’s screen at the table and seen my name there. Unfortunately he just set me up to tee off on him.

Me: Really? After all that that’s your big close?

Villain: Yeah.

Me: That’s kind of a letdown, I was hoping for something at least creative.

Villain: I liked it. I just kinda decided to tell the truth.

I was in the 1 seat and at this point I leaned into our dealer, who was a woman for this shift to ask her a question.

Me: I have a personal question for you. Do you happen to have an extra tampon, because I think this guy needs one?

The table lost it at this point. Our villain tried his best to maintain his stance of superiority, but sadly for him he had been eviscerated already at the table. He left probably an hour later after declaring to me he was going to take all my money before he left. I stayed for about another 5 hours at the table before packing it in. When I left I was commended by a few players at the table for handling myself as well as I did. I didn’t set out to fight with this guy, I was just going to let him blow off some steam and try to get a few laughs out of it to lighten the mood. I ended up owning him pretty well. I don’t for a second think I made a good play here by the way. I have no trouble admitting I was way wrong with my read and I did my best in the hand to donk off my stack. Having said that, no one is really going to remember that hand but the villain and I, it’s how I handled myself and how badly I made him look that those players and dealers will remember. I can’t always play like a champion, but I can ALWAYS act with grace and dignity in the face of some dude teaching his mark how to play. Just in case he’s a P5er I have one closing thought. Sir, don’t teach your marks how to play you fucking moron. The way you make money in the game is by taking advantage of those mistakes. Just a heads up :) .