Maybe it's the fresh air. Maybe it's the breathtaking scenery? There's just something about Oregon! It's Visuals are permanently fused in my

mind's eye, and for good reason. It's easily one of the more beautiful locales I've been priveleged enough to experience in this lifetime.

The problem? Re-entry.

"All good things must come to an end"; "Snap back to reality". Again It's a trial, and once more life is in session. Wait, you mean I actually have

to go back to L.A?! What a major letdown; like totally dude.

....It's less than seventy-two hours since we've arrived home following the culmination of our "Summer of wonder tour" through the pacific

northwest. I bask in the glory of the sunshine that I so often take for granted, finish an afternoon honeydew and retire for the evening. It's only a

few hours; and several mediocre sitcoms later that I am catapulted out of bed to the sound of sirens and a sea of flashing lights.

"Is this your car sir?"

With my confusion came curiosity; then suddenly like Dorothy, I realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore. The letters "JSK" etched on the side of my

vehicle. Lovely.

Welcome to Long Beach, California. Incidentally, the perp was a nineteen year old girl who was chased down by concerned citizens. She later

plead ignorance; claiming that the devil made her watch television, which in turn forced her to play violent video games, which in turn placed the

pen in her hand and led her to my vehicle. I mean, she has a pretty airtight case right?

Less than two weeks after our return home from vacation, I was lucky enough to see a bit more of Long Beach unfold right before my eyes.

With an already impressive resume of eight vehicular break-ins, several disturbances, a restraining order violation and our defiled vehicle, the

only thing our block was missing was a partridge in a pear tree..and of course a prowler.

It was late, I was tired. No television in the bedroom tonight, I'll just scan through some news on the internet for a minute then go to bed. Seventy

degree temperatures at night, and an uneasy feeling from the recent crime wave prompted me to leave the bedroom window open throughout the

night. I started hearing strange noises outside so I turned off all the lights in the bedroom and decided to go to the window to investigate. I

peered out and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a middle aged bum with a bag full of beer. Pure coincidence would place a

squad car two doors down at the same time. I couldn't believe what I was seeing! He bobbed up and down in an attempt to keep an eye on the

Officer, then with ninja-like precision he scurried into the bushes under my bedroom window!

Ok, this had gone way too far. I immediately notified the Police of the situation and they dispatched the Officer already on the scene; who

proceeded to order the guy out of the bushes and took him into custody at gunpoint. Gulp.

Look, I was born here, I've lived twenty-eight of my thirty-one years here; but I'm just about ready to ixnay on the Bong Leachyay...Capiche?

Enough is enough, and at some point you have to ease your mind and allow yourself to sleep at night! I love my family so much. It would be

incredibly difficult to leave, but the time is drawing near. You changed Long Beach, or maybe I did. Maybe I just grew out of you?

It's not you, It's me..