When some people think of a professional poker player most people that don't know the poker world roll their eyes and think to themselves "sure". You are generally looked at as a degenerate gambler that probably is broke. Are there really people out there that claim to be a professional poker player that really aren't? hmmmm bad question.... So I guess I see his point. Do I really seem like the type to be a degenerate gambler?

Just some examples, the last time I visited the doctors he asked me what I was doing. I told him, he was of course extremely sceptical. He told me "but you can't win at any casino game can you?" I tried to explain technically if everyone is making correct decisions you can't win in the long run because the house takes a cut. He came to the conclusion "So you can't win at it." Then I realized this guy doesn't even know what poker is or isn't fully paying attention either way I wasn't in the mood to try to explain to him that you can win money consistently because people aren't always playing perfectly. I think I'm going to carry around my huge 15k game shark scope graph on my itouch and just show them that and explain what the graph means.

Its incredibly frustrating to not be able to tell people what I do because people are just way too sceptical and its extremely annoying to have to explain to everyone how poker works. I do understand though that its a rare "job" and they would be curious to know how it works.

To general people do I really seem like the type of person that would do something continuously for years losing money? Would I go around telling people I play poker if I were losing? You'd think having professional players on T.V would help my case but people still don't believe you can make money from playing poker. I don't like having to tell people how much I made in a year but you're always left having too. Do you go around asking people how much they make? No, because its just an incredibly awkward question and usually none of their business... Even people don't ask how much money other people made on their investments let alone how much they make at their jobs.

Dating someone sucks... Their parents and family almost never approve of what you do unless you're handing them tons of cash and buying them gifts... They never want their son or daughter dating you because they think you are a degenerate gambler and need a proper job.

Basically, being a poker player society won't accept you as a proper human being. I heard in many cases that we're looked down as low as a prostitute or at least use too. Its going to take some time for people to realize that there are professional gamblers. Movies like 21 and poker being on T.V probably will help education people.

It makes sense to be sceptical, there's a lot of "easy ways to make money" methods out there. Poker is definitely not one of them. Its an incredibly hard thing to do. Some days it does feel easy but to get at the point I'm at right now, I worked my ass off. I don't know if playing 6-7 days a week 12hrs+ a day seems glamorous to you but its not. Its generally fun to play though, but just like jobs you enjoy they can be fun. There's aspects about it that aren't fun of course but you have to have discipline. There's times where its incredibly stressful, where you don't know if you are playing properly and if you'll ever get out of your downswing. You question yourself all the time, look for ways to improve. Its having that attitude that keeps you going though.

People have to realize the variance of the game. You have to be able to take a $10k downswing after having a $10k up swing and swallow a wasted month of grinding over a month of a grinding. It happens... luckily for me, not very often.

I'm not saying I don't love my life. I do... but it would be better if Poker was more accepted...

Past couple of days I’ve been running well and still playing a little bit of .50/1 Stud Hi. Besides poker I need to let loose somethings that have been on my mind. In the past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling depressed, I don’t know exactly why but a few things come to mind. For one this lifestyle is pretty lonely. You wake up and play till evening when its usually too late to go out so you end up watching something and then sleeping. You also are not working with anyone else, only against the other players who are your opponents. Thankfully, my brother has been playing WoW beside me when I grind and just having a person by me is more comforting. Its funny, my mother who normally watches TV in the living room is now watching TV in the basement with us. Its obivous she wants to be with her boys like one big family. Another thing that could of been possibly putting me on the depressed mindset was my losing streak and the pondering of if I want to do this for the rest of my life? Is this a future career that I can take up? I don’t know… My friend Erik who brought me to Vegas has now returned to Hamilton to join me on my poker grind. He’s going to move his computer in and play beside me. Grinding out 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. I’m hoping his company will help me over come this. The blog is probably losing me money knowing that is kinda depressing, but I’m going to keep it. As you readers may not understand is that recording your money record to the public and your friends doesn’t always make you feel good and if your emotions aren’t in check then its going to hurt at the tables. What I mean is, when I lose I have to think about and reliving those losses while I recording them on the site. It shouldn’t bother me because its poker, that’s how it works folks. You lose money for long streaks and then you win (at least in tournament poker). When I recieve messages like “holy shit you just keep losing eh?” ”Not doing so well lately eh?” “Sorry to hear about your losing.” ”when are you going to quit!?” NEVER EVER would a real poker player ever say these words to me. I can’t blame the average person that doesn’t understand the poker lifestyle because they just plain don’t. As a poker player you don’t want to hear these things because you for one: may start to second guess yourself, two: you relive negative past events, three: start to get an emotional attachment to people that I want to please by to trying to win for them and if I don’t win everyday I fail. I know I’m ranting a lot here but its been frustrating me for awhile. I had to yell at my mom for asking me how I was doing everyday. Most of the days folks as you can see is a negative day. What else is new? and if you just worked your ass off playing all day and still lost do you really want to be asked how your day was? Its not the same as if you were in a shitty mood and wanted to talk about it because you can’t talk about poker to someone who doesn’t understand it and also they wouldn’t anyways because poker players understand these factors of the game. I never ever ask someone how there doing well maybe Leroy, but he usually just tells me straight up . Anyways, thanks for listening if anyone was, and I’m happy that people are still reading my blog and watching my progress. Also, like to give a shout out to RyanGhall for winning another $12k main event seat. Yeah, buddy just win them all why don’t you? Jerk… For more information about my poker life and blogs go to my blog http://pokergene.com

http://pokergene.com