As the title depicts, i have never blogged before but figured what the hell I will give it a shot. I imagine it can be a healthy form of self expression, or at least that is what I intend to use it for. I have always enjoyed reading other peoples blogs so why not do it myself. Sitting in my KC office doing a whole lot of nothing at the moment, the idea was to hae an engineer from my dept come to KC for two days a week to support them in there growth....im supporting....! CARDS---- I have been either running exceptionally well....or exceptionally bad. Last night i took my last 4$ on UB and played / .1 .2 PLO. Was playing a cat heads up, he sat with .60 and I sat with the 2$ buy in....I ran into a huge drawing hand where i flopped top two and he call pot with monster draws, obv hit, i reloaded and a similar situation occured only this time i flop top two and he flopped stone cold, and when i say stone cold, i mean stone cold....Royal Flush......I was holding AK10J he was holding QJ(C)910 board came A10K all clubs....i bet pot, he smooth called....river came rag...smooth called POT river came a 10, sweet I got a boat, he bets POT(all-in) obv call OUCH Royal shuved in my ass. That has been the story of my life the last 4 go arounds with PLO. NLHE has been up and down and I have not had a decent cash since November. I have not won a home game since December. I have tried evaluating my game on several different occasions to try and identify leaks and I am coming up short, not that I dont have leaks, I just cant figure out where they are at. Not to mention I have just been losing alot of coin flips in critical situations. I have been for the most part 95% of the time getting my money in the middle good, only to get sucked out on, thats poker right....right....variance right.....right.....I feel like i dont play enough to experience the WHOLE range of variance only the downside! I have to admit I am tired of making 50$ deposits having it drain over the week just to do it all over again the next week. I play the lowest stakes possible and i seriously think that is part of my problem. I feel that i play at a different level than these smaller games and have a difficult time adjusting my game to these levels. I like to make plays where I know that the oppenents SHOULD fold being that they dont have a hand, and 90% of the time I am correct but these opponents at this level are to dumb or to brave to let go ace high, or bottom pair.....or maybe im just dumb for shoving into them with the hopes that they will fold there weak ass hand. I rail the higher levels alot, I enjoy this more than I enjoy watching tv....so I am constantly observing "plays" and what not and I have a bad tendancy to bring these thoughts and these plays to my level where they just dont work, then I get frustrated at the donk that called me with ace high....granted his ace high was good, but he could not have possibly known that....or why was he willing to risk his entire stack or tourny life on ace high...granted every hand every situation is different but this happens way to often at the lower limits. I know I am a decent player and have proven myself several times in different fields. I played 3 circuit events this year and bubbled all three of them, 10 from the money with fields as large as 500 people....two of them i got it in good, one of them bad....all 3 of them i lost the flip. It happens and it was how I was running the entire time. Last year this time I had qauled for the TV show Mansion Poker Dome challenge then went on the show twice to win 25k. I played on TV speed poker under the lights, the cameras and the crowd and none of that phased me, I played great poker. Few months after that I took down the 30$ rebuy on UB for 5k and some change...won a few critical coin flips and then just ran sick the remainder of the tournament. And since then I havent been able to do shit. I have taken a month of to let the cards cool down, let me rethink my game...joined training sites....read more books....and still i dont think I am playing bad....just cant seem to win the flips at the critical times. Fuk it! I hate flips!