def won't forget this one bowel movement... wait, i know you probably didn't think that's how this was going to start, but let me finish. i woke up friday and had to "take care of my business" as i used to say to my parent's puppies when i had to walk them. so i'm sitting there, with laptop in hand reading twitter... when flashed the most disgusting tweet i'd ever seen. "big three online poker operators indicted by dept of justice." at first i wasn't sure how much of an effect it was going to have on me, but my instincts where that this was the end of the world as i knew it.

i was pretty much right, as in an instant pokerstars/FTP banned US players and the forums lit up. no single story in poker history has driven people to 2 plus 2 in the droves they were coming in... over 1 million views of the story/thread in under 24 hours, it was ridiculous. deep down i knew one day this day would come, but i never thought we would have no warning. everything looked so promising in the past 12 months for online poker to be legalized here, yet this shit storm finally came down on us. i knew the status quo would never last... full tilt/stars having checks getting confiscated left and right, payment processors opening and closing constantly, and rumors of a quick "cash grab" by FTP in an effort to sweep as many funds out of players' accounts before their impending departure from the US market made me realize this day would come... but again, i never in a million years would have picked last friday as the day it would happen.

part of me is happy but the majority of me is depressed that the government could do this to me/my job/the community. not only that, but i feel like my voice doesn't matter at all when the DOJ can do this despite the public outcry that poker is a game of skill and that this should be legal. i feel hurt, deceived, depressed, and way more emotions that i haven't felt in a long while...

but in reality, i hadn't even played online poker in 2 weeks before this happened. on april 3rd, i played my final hand on pokerstars or full tilt, unbeknown to myself at the time. i logged off from my sunday session and felt i was burnt out and not playing well, and i needed some time off. so, on april 10th, i woke up and was ready to grind yet another sunday session. i woke up late for some reason, then when i tried to login to pokerstars, my RSA token was broken. i emailed pokerstars support, but my roommate said when the same thing happened to him it took 3 days to get anyone to answer him. furious about that news, i emailed stars then tore my bedroom apart looking for the "one time password sheet" to bypass the RSA token.

i must've turned over every box in my room (i had just moved in a couple months ago and haven't unpacked a lot of stuff i know will just stay in a drawer/closet somewhere) and looked in every nook & cranny in that room... no god damn password sheet! finally after about an hour stars emailed me. i got them to take the RSA token login part off, and i was back online... but before i started to register, i noticed something in my bedroom. after an hour of looking, i had somehow bypassed this ONE BOX sitting right next to my trash can. i had ASS U Med it was an empty box that had been shipped to my house earlier in the week with an order from amazon in it... so i never opened it. right before i could sit down to reg, i noticed the box had some stuff in it. there was my password sheet, and i could have avoided all this extra stress had i just opened this "empty" box. good lord, this day was NOT starting off right.

then i noticed that full tilt had decided they would make their sunday ANOTHER multi-entry sunday with multi-entries into the $1.5m (what once was the $750k), and i'm pretty sure a few others were that way. i had just come to the conclusion that MET tournaments were HORRIBLE for not only the poker economy, but also to my game as i hate having tons and tons of tables up. if i could have picked an ideal # of tables, i would never have more than 8-10 up (basically sundays only), and optimally i'd be playing 4-6 tables (most of the rest of the week). i feel like the less tables i play, the more i focus and tend to play much better and less mechanically.

so, in the face of having to have another difficult decision of either A) playing 14-16 tables minimum at one time and avoid missing any very highly +EV tournaments, B) single-entering or something similar the $1.5m and other METs, leaving myself feeling like i'm just pissing away value by not opening more tables, or C) taking yet another day off, my 7th day in a row at that point. i decided i would just skip the day as it was already noon and i was about as furious as i had ever been without playing a single hand of poker to this point! had the $1.5m been a $750k w/ no METs that day, i would have likely logged a regular session. instead, i enjoyed a great final round of the masters, which i hadn't been able to sit down and watch in a number of years.

the next day i just wasn't feeling up to it and spent most of the week playing video games & hanging out with my roommate, his friend luke & my roommate's infant son. we talked about poker, reviewed a few hands, and drank a lotta beer. i finished the final season of OZ, and then, before i could even decide what day i was going to return to online poker... all of our lives were turned upside down!

basically, it's a blessing in disguise as i feel like online poker has made me more stressed out and less social, and i plan on changing those things this summer. i'm not going to make any major changes to my day to day life, other than having to log some time in casinos in small NL cash games and grinding more $300-$1k live tournaments than i'm used to.

don't know what else to say at this point... i'm going to go grab a bite to eat then hit up some small, less frequented poker rooms and try and grind up my roll again. good luck to everyone else who feels as upset/semi-happy it's all over, it's a weird mix of emotions right now.