Poker is another test of what my potential is. I feel like I have spent my life pushing myself to all the limits I can imagine. Whether it was drugs & gangs as a teenager, being a wandering hippie on gratefull dead or widespread panic tour, or playing in the main event of the world series of poker I have always pushed moments of time.

Longevity, consistency and long-lasting success are my main issues. I tend to find ways to fail. Call it self-destruction, blow-ups or self deprecating behavior. I excel in those moments. I know how to hate myself and make my life as difficult as humanely possible.

Poker tests the self destructive portion of myself more than anything else i have ever experienced. More than drugs or alchohol. I have spewed thousands of dollars away in sitting at 10/20 with a bankroll of 4k. I have registered for 1k sng on stars with a 2k BR and won.

What happens when you place a frustrated drinking man online with 5k at his disposal in front a computer late at night? for me this is my greatest test of wills.

I run good when my momemtum is with me. When it slows down I have reasons to be afraid.

What is consistency and how is it maintained.

I need to build a concrete 25k bankroll to feel comfortable.

I need to play at least 2 events in the world series this year.

I need to pay off all of my families debts so that i don't see that worry and burden on my wifes face.

I Want to be consistently happy.