As I said in the first blog entry I want to try and keep these as entertaining as possible. So I figure the best way for me to do that is to share some of my funny stories from my poker career so far, and I think I have just the story to get things started off on the right foot.
I typically play live cash games at Foxwoods in CT. Usually on those trips I sit at the 4/8 limit holdem tables, partly because I think I'm above average in limit and party because I don't want to drive 70mins to the casino and lose my one bullet in just a few hands at a NL table. The game itself is very juicy, sitting with $200 and leaving with $350-400 is not uncommon. This is typically the stakes at which the recreational players like to just fool around for a bit. Mix that up with the regulars and the guys coming to the table having just busted out of a different game (and are already stuck a few hundred coming in) and you have potential to see some wild personalities.
One night I was sitting in the game, up probably about $100 at this point after a few hours and just then a player sits down opposite me at the table (I was seat 3 he was seat 7). I recognize him from previous sessions as a weak player and notice him buy in for $100. Quick visual for you, this guy is probably 5'8"ish and if I had to set a line for an over/under I'd say he's about 340lbs. He’s also wearing a pretty stained, grey T-shirt and some beat up jeans. Not the personal-fitness/hygiene type. Anyway as expected he starts playing very aggro and not particularly well. Blows through his first $100 pretty fast, a good chunk of it to me, and reloads another $100.
At this point I'm noticing something I hadn't before, something seems to be wrong with this guy. I'm sure everyone has experiences with people who are just off a bit, not playing with a full deck so to speak. These people don't talk much, and when they do finally speak up it's clear why they shouldn’t. This guy clearly had never really learned how to socialize with people and it showed. It seemed to me like he was on some kind of medication, not that there is anything wrong with that. However, it was as if he was being medicated for ADD and was artificially mellowed out a bit.
This was probably my best read of the night. Sure enough after about 2 hours of play he hits the felt. He then very politely taps the table, says nice hand and good luck to everyone, and then gets up. The only problem is his jeans decided not to come with him. There he was, standing in the poker room, jeans at his ankles, wearing a pair of stained and disgusting looking tighy-whiteys that were SCREAMING under the stress of this man’s waste. It was as though this man had somehow been mechanically placed into these briefs and they were now permanently fastened to his skin. The whole scene was like a bad car crash, it’s horrifying but you can’t stop staring at the carnage. After what had to have been the longest 2-3 seconds of all our lives at that table (not to mention the guy in seat 8 who was eye level with what must have been some funky smelling junk) the man very casually put his pants back on as though nothing had happened and walked away holding them up.
I was in such disbelief at this point I turned to the player on my left and asked, “Did that really just happen?” Almost immediately after I asked that the guy in seat 8 gagged on the lingering smell. I began laughing hysterically after that. A profitable night and a good story, can’t ask for much more than that.