NOTE: Friends, excuse me because I have made a similar topic earlier, but this one stresses on 'How I should make my family/friends understand my choice of playing poker vs a 9 to 5 job?' so I thought I'd make a separate one to stress about this particular subject mainly. Thanks.

So I'll be turning 25 this year and ever since my graduation, I have been an almost-full-time online poker player and make good job-like income from it and want to continue playing online poker for a living until it sustains.

However, my family/friends tell me that it is a must to experience a 'real work environment' because it will make a man out of me by taking me out of my comfort zone. (I have some degree of low self-esteem and don't feel very comfortable in social situations. I can't make friends easily or talk to anyone freely in class either.) And that I'm already old enough and it's hightime I do something about my life because I'm basically doing 'nothing' and I must start working ASAP to experience the real 'pressures' of life and BE A MAN.

So, although I do understand that a real work environment (9 to 5) could do some good like experience, growth, self-esteem, confidence, etc. etc. etc., I am 100% sure that it will not give me enough time to play poker everyday without being tired easily and I could end up being unhappy because of being unable to do what I wanted to.

I think I am just satisfied doing what I am doing right now without fear of the future (as in, a possible decline of online poker or my dislike towards the game, etc.). Also, I could always invest this money into a new business at a later point of time in life. Also, I could always start doing a job if I ever get bored with poker later on. But right now, it's not like that. My mindset is different. It's unconventional. And I know that not everyone is going to support me.

But I want my family/friends to understand my point of view which isn't happening. How do I make them understand my thought process and emotions? They basically think I'm useless.

If your family sees value in you based on how much you contribute to society, then playing poker is going to look pretty useless in their eyes, regardless if you are successful at it or not.

only 2 people in my life supported my decision to try to play poker for a living, everyone else thought I was going to end up broke. My traditionally-minded parents were really not happy it (and certainly hated telling their friends about what their son was doing) but 5 successful years later, all of my family and friends support me and my dad even brags to his friends that I have played in the tournament they are showing on TV ( WSOP ME, even if ive only played it once and didnt cash).

If you show your parents that you are responsible about it (approach it like a business, '' sorry mom, sunday night dinner is bad for me cause its my busiest work day, can we do it another night? '' ), if you show them you are able to earn a 'decent' salary (whatever that means for them/you) and if you show them this is what makes you happy then they will certainly come around.

Nearly all the big name poker players have the same story: '' parents were against it at first but when I started making more money then them they came around to it ''. A good friend of mine has been grinding poker for a few years now under the constant pressure of his parents to get a real job. He was making ends meet but it was close sometimes. In the last 6months he has really done well and has a big financial cushion now. He said that the relationship with his parents was much better now that he had more money. He was kinda annoyed that it took money to improve their relationship, but in the end regardless of the way they got there he was happy their relationship was better.

The point is this: parents want security/stability for their kids so will naturally be against poker and you cant blame them for it. Once they realize that poker can bring hapiness/security to their kid most come around cause really all they want is for you to be happy. So the only way to really get them to accept poker is to prove to them that, over a long period of time, you are able to be successful at poker.


I think the '' social anxiety '' problem is a completely different issue. Having a 9-5 office job would force you into social situations that you arent used to and I agree that this would be very good for your social skills and possibly for your self-esteem as well. If you do chose poker, you will have to be actively looking to put yourself in social situations because poker will certainly not bring that. Taking up some sort of volunteer activity could get you some social points and some contributing-to-society points at the same time. A very shy friend of mine was able to overcome his social awkwardness via swing-dancing (he was not a good dancer at all when he started but a few years into it he now has some decent swing dancing skill and THAT is what boosted his self-esteem).

As for ''BEING A MAN'' by having a 9-to-5 job that is the biggest piece of bullshit ever. Deep down im sure some of these people dont want you to chase your dream because they didnt have the balls to do it themselves. They settled in for a mediocre job and they do it everyday although they dont really like it but thats what people do '' in the real world ''.

FUCK THAT NOISE.

If you dont like the idea of a 9-5 job that doesnt stimulate you, dont kid yourself into thinking that having one will increase your self-esteem. I had the standard govt 9-5 job and all my family and friends were really proud of me! They congratulated me when I finally got my '' permanent '' position and I smiled on the outside and thanked them but cringed on the inside and was very disappointed in myself because that is not the life I wanted for myself. Now when I say im a professional poker player I know that most people think less of me then if I said '' I work for the govt '' but for the first time in my life I am proud of the 'work' I do and I feel good about myself when I get up in the morning. I used to worry about what others thought of me and what others thought of what I was doing and I was miserable. Now I worry about what I want and what I think of myself and am much happier :)

Good luck sounds like you have the right mindset to do this. Its going to be hard at times and doing it without the support of friends and family def makes it harder but with enough success they all come around and then you start hearing '' I wish I knew how to play poker.. '' more often.


keep us posted

I'd say that if you live on your own and make enough money to support yourself, you really shouldn't have to worry about what anybody else thinks about you.

Thanks folks.

The money doesn't matter at all. A real job helps to face the real challenges of life by going through numerous situations in a workplace which staying at home all day winning easy money doesn't achieve. One needs to get out of their comfort zone and be ready to tackle real-life situations, get real work experience, etc. to shape up as a complete and polished human-being.

This is the general opinion of most non-poker playing people I guess because I get to hear it from many people around me. How do I make them understand it's not that way?

It's not about what they think of me, I value their concern for me and want to reciprocate to it by making them understand my point of view instead of just ignoring what they say.

 

Originally Posted by fizzypants

Thanks folks.

The money doesn't matter at all. A real job helps to face the real challenges of life by going through numerous situations in a workplace which staying at home all day winning easy money doesn't achieve. One needs to get out of their comfort zone and be ready to tackle real-life situations, get real work experience, etc. to shape up as a complete and polished human-being.

Wrong!I have a 9-5 job,which doesn't really involve being in the office,so i don't really have much human interaction either.Does that mean i'm not polished?

It's not about what they think of me.

It's about what you want!Sooner or later your family will realize that..

& btw Money Does Matter.

.

Gl to you Sir! P.S. just looked at my post :) lol,hopefully it's understandable.

great post Fou, inspiring stuff, I have problems with my family too but this will keep me on a level headed pursuit to achieve success at poker with hard work and persistance I too hope I can prove every1 wrong!

Didn't read the walls of text that other people said but I've got this.

Every time anyone doesn't believe in me, or denounces me for what I do, or says limiting pessimistic thoughts about my career choice it inspires me that much more to succeed.

Don't do it for anyone else, do it for yourself. Because at the end of the day you are the only person you should be trying to satisfy. Fuck the haters.

i remember when i turned down a job at age 22 to start my own gardening/landscape service

i took some heat from quite a few people

i didnt want to go work at some fkn factory/warehouse 9-5 job i did what i WANTED TO DO

Play for 6 months a year, then show them your check book. That will make them understand.

P.S. I am assuming that you are a winning player, if not, get a 9-5. Its better than stressing about bills and such.

OP already has a degree in some kind of business or accounting field if i remember right. So i don't see why your family has such a problem with you taking a shot at being a professional poker player. Just work on your SA with CCBT or something...i'd rather do a 9-5 (that i enjoy) to work on my SA than play poker and do nothing to improve it. But yeah, do what makes you happy. Like someone said..there's people out there who settle for mediocrity and hate what they do for a living then try to give you advice on how to live your life. Don't settle for less..if you're happy playing poker than do it. If you're consistently losing money then i would go with the 9-5 but for now go for it

And thanks again for your responses, folks.

I personally feel that there are both pros and cons of going either way, but the main thing here is doing what I want to do as you guys pointed out. There's no right or wrong here really. It's all about what makes you happy. And doing a regular job would leave almost NO time to pursue what I want i.e. poker. So it's difficult to choose both here.

However, let's consider the possibility of online poker going down or me failing at it 5 years down the line (I'd be almost 30 by then). What happens then? Should I be bothered about the long-term? Would I be able to establish a career with a 9-to-5 at such an age?

I believe alot of people have misconceptions about "normal" jobs contributing to society. I would say that most jobs in a capitalist society are mainly about taking and coercing people into buying things they don't want etc. For instance, I would argue that the majority of those in the advertising business spend their lives trying to associate their products with things that have nothing to do with the product they are selling. Most advertising is basically a lie in my opinion. If you are a day trader or invest I believe that nearly every time you profit someone else loses. Investment banks are one of many causes of our terrible economy and I don't even want to go into all of the things they did wrong with home loans etc. In fact, I can come up with very few "honest" professions that pay alot.

For me, the rules of poker are very clear and as long as you conduct yourself in an ethical manner at the table and do not break any rules there is nothing to be ashamed of. I don't completely buy the "we provide entertainment" argument but I do believe that we all have a level playing field and its similar to being a trader. I suppose live pros provide entertainment though. Also, in order to make up for the fact that what I do is a little self-serving and hollow I spend some time volunteering and also give money to different charities that I like.

My story is also very similar. My parents did not support poker in the beginning but I made my Mom a power point presentation along with a bunch of graphs showing roi etc. and as a businesswoman she couldn't really argue. It didn't hurt that she had access to my bank account at that point in time and saw proof.

Also, when it comes down to it. People are judgmental and misinformed, and life is too short to spend worrying what other people think. Obviously it is better to be accepted by your loved ones but really "being a man" in my opinion means doing what you want with your life (assuming it doesn't hurt anyone) and realizing that you have no obligation to live up to someone else's expectations of you. Easier said than done though I know.

I think that was my point. Alot of people look down on poker as somehow dishonest but I don't view it that way. In fact, I view many other "normal" jobs to be full of dishonesty and deception. Or at least, I think if you're going to call poker dishonest you should call those jobs dishonest as well.

I was mainly sharing my own experience and outlook - I may have gone on a tangent that is slightly different than the OP but I get annoyed when people look down on what I do. Regarding the OP, I think it really depends on if you're making enough money and are treating poker like a business. I don't think I would recommend this career/lifestyle to many people but it is amazing for people who have talent, discipline, work ethic, and the mentality to make it.

 

Originally Posted by apestyles

edit - just read foutights post and actually prefer everything he said to what i said. nice post.

Just read your posts and I liked them very much.

I was chillin at a friends place the other day and his roommate (who i dont know) walked in and chilled with us as well. He asks '' so your a pro poker player'' then very next question is '' so you deceive people all day? '' and then after that '' so do you deceive people in your everyday life as well ? '' .

Im over trying to convince people that what I do isnt dirty. If they have pre-conceived negative impressions about poker / poker players its gonna take more then a 5minute talk to fix that. Funny thing is, that guy is a lawyer. I wonder if he uses deception in his workplace....

foutight - make it your business to sleep with his girlfriend or sister.