Happy August 14th to all you baseball loving OTers out there in OT Land!

If you haven't be able to tell by the signs on telephone poles, ads on milk cartons, norcaljeff's shift in mood, or the lack of political threads lately, Underdog is posting at about .001% of his career average. Not only does this mean that Off Topic is without a self-proclaimed MVP, but we also are in need of someone to step up and keep the Power Rankings alive. Now, I know what you're thinking: the obvious choice is, well, not me. Same can be said for obvious choices 2-136, but as everyone before me turned down the offer, I proudly stepped up and accepted when the 137th call was made. It's a win-win for everyone; OT gets to keep their rankings, and gets another thread to argue about baseball. I, on the other hand, will get to pad my post count and get more well known, which will help my 4 year plan of slowly gaining people's trust until they chip in and buy me a grill.
Thanks to krs33, nyy486, and gamma21 for their contributions. UD - if you're out there reading this, I had no idea how f'ing much effort goes into putting these together, especially with the formatting.
I know this is not much of a grand intro, but in my mind, there are fans screaming and theme music blasting, kinda like this clip, but with a better song and less ties to coke and porn stars:


Ok, enough of this. Let's talk baseball...

1: Philadelphia Phillies (2)
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JKoblyn: Tied with Boston for the top spot, the Phillies are listed first to try and prevent the “Woe is us” postings of OTers hailing from the Philadelphia area. Roy Halladay (15-4, 2.75, 6 CG), Cliff Lee (11-7, 2.96, 9.16 K/9) and Cole Hamels (13-6, 2.53) are easily the best starting trio in all of baseball. Newly acquired Hunter Pence has fit into the lineup nicely, batting .327 with 3 HR and an OPS of .920 in 13 games.

1: Boston Red Sox (1)
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JKoblyn: Boston leqads the majors with 5.44 runs per game, largely due to the 3 legitimate MVP candidates at the top of their order. Jacoby Ellsbury (.319, 20 HR, 30 SB), Dustin Pedroia (.311/.401/.482), and Adrian Gonzalez (.350, 18 HR, .965 OPS) could all finish in the top 5-7 in the balloting this year. The Red Sox are coming off a week that featured 3 walkoff hits - 2 by Ellsbury and one by rookie Josh Reddick in the 10th inning vs the Yankees.

3: New York Yankees (3)
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JKoblyn: I love the lack of logic that is ESPN's Power Rankings. After losing 2 of 3 to Boston last week, dropping to 2-10 head to head this season, the Yankees moved up to #2 while the Red Sox took their place at #3. You know, the 12 games they have played is a small sample size, and you could make a case that New York is better, pointing out their higher run differential (29 better than Boston), or their team ERA being #2 in the AL (.09 behind LAA). But to mention dropping 2 of 3 to the Sox, CC getting shelled, Rivera blowing a save, and the week ending on "the sourest of notes" is just asinine.
JKoblyn trying to sound like Futon: Bartolo Colon has done more for stem cell research awareness than Amy Winehouse has done for deodorized caskets.

4: Texas Rangers (5)
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JKoblyn: People have been marveling lately about how Texas has not been able to shake the Angels all year. With the lineup of Josh Hamilton, Nelson Cruz, Ian Kinsler and Michael Young finally starting to play at the same time, and Adrian Beltre due back soon, the lineup is going to start scoring runs in bunches, and with new acquisitions Mike Adams and Koji Uehara allowing the starters to only need to go 6 innings, look for the Rangers to pull away soon.

5: Atlanta Braves (4)
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JKoblyn: Atlanta allows 3.66 runs per game, good for 3rd in the majors, and their +57 run differential ranks 2nd in the NL, behind only division rival Philadelphia. The Braves hope to get Brian McCann back this weak, and have missed him badly, but picking up the slack has been Dan Uggla, who has hit 15 HR and raised his avg 56 points during his 33 game hitting streak.

6: Milwaukee Brewers (10)
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JKoblyn: Milwaukee has come on strong lately, winning at a .680 clip over the last month, 2nd to only Philadelphia, and have taken 9 of their last 10. Ryan Braun (.326/21/74/.971, 20 SB), Prince Fielder (.304/26/85/.991) and Rickie Weeks (.272/19/43/.824) are a very leathal trio. While Zach Grienke, Yovani Gollardo and Shaun Marcum aren't on the same level as the front 3 from Philly, San Fran, or Atlanta, they are good enough to keep the Brewers in the game until the offense breaks through.

7: St. Louis Cardinals (9)
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JKoblyn: Ask any radiologist and they’ll tell you the combination of Pujols, Holliday and Berkman is the best 3-4-5 in all of baseball. The Cardinals lead the NL with 4.76 runs per game, and have the 6th highest run differential in the majors (+49).

8: Los Angeles Angels (8)
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JKoblyn: The Angels find themselves only 3 games behind Texas solely on the strength of their pitching. Their 3.69 runs allowed per game leads the AL, and Jered Weaver and Dan Haren both rank in the top 4 in pWAR. Weaver figures to be contending with Justin Verlander for the Cy Young this year, and while having an ERA of almost a half run lower, may fall victim to Verlander’s no hitter, no hit bids, and K totals. Hopefully if Verlander wins he’ll be gracious in victory, or someone on the Tigers is taking one in the head.

9: San Francisco Giants (6)
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JKoblyn: With Lincecum, Cain, and Bumgarner, the Giants could beat anyone in a playoff series, as they showed last year. However, like last year, their offense is a major weakness, and as they trailed San Diego until the end of the season, they now find themselves 2 games behind Arizona. They’ve shown they can run the tables, but they need to make it there first.

10: Tampa Bay Rays (7)
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JKoblyn: Ben Zobrist ranks #2 amongst all MLB 2B with a WAR of 5.8, and Casey Kotchman (.335/.395/.470) has stepped up while filling the void left by Carlos Pena. I wonder if Tampa Bay would vote for realignment if given the opportunity…

21: Oakland Athletics (25)
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Jkoblyn (in perfect Michael Jackson voice): Billy Beane’s not my lover. He’s just a guy who tries to make the most of his low financial resources by trying to identify bargain players with quantifiable statistics overlooked by old school scouts who are more interested in speed and power. But the kid is not my son.

22: Washington Nationals (18)
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JKoblyn: Stephen Strasburg is starting to pitch again, and Bryce Harper just hit a walk-off HR in AA ball. It’s too bad that at the current rate of his decline, Jayson Werth will bat .034 with 7 HR and an OBP of .175 by the time the Nationals have all their young guns at the big league level.

23: Los Angeles Dodgers (24)
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JKoblyn: The Dodgers rank 28th in runs scored, despite the efforts of Matt Kemp (.319/27/88/.988). However, I would expect things to change for the better soon under their superior ownership.

24: Minnesota Twins (22)
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JKoblyn (with bottle of Head and Shoulders): The Minnesota Twins are pretty much done this year, despite the Central being so weak, aren't they?
Joe Mauer: No.
JKoblyn: Aren't they?
Joe Mauer (sadly): Yes.

25: San Diego Padres (26)
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JKoblyn: My wife and son are watching “Tangled,” Disney’s 2010 spin on the Rapunzel fairytale. In no way is it entertaining, but it’s better than trying to find a few sentences to write about the Padres. So skip down to the Cubs at #26 while I keep watching the animated blond chick to see if I can get a quick upskirt shot.

26: Chicago Cubs (29)
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JKoblyn: If you're a Cubs fan, or work in the front office, wouldn't you be crossing yoru fingers that Carlos Zambrano is actually retiring? I certainly would not want to pay $18,000,000 next year for a player who will get me 1 more win than a replacement level pitcher would, especially when you have to put up with all of his pre-menstrual issues.

27: Seattle Mariners (20)
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JKoblyn (writing in the style of pluv in honor of Boston losing 2 of 3 in the Pacific Northwest this weekend):
Ichiro Suzuki has a WAR of -0.5 this year...

This is good for 26th on the team, putting him behind people like Jack Cust, Mike Carp, and the newly acquired Willy Mo Pena.

How can you expect Seattle to be anywhere but the basement when the guy who has been by far their best player over the past few years is playing below replacement level, with an embarassing line of .267/.308/.320, and a monster 2 HR?

I mean, I still keep hearing he puts on quite a display in batting practice.

But...

28: Kansas City Royals (28)
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JKoblyn: The Royals are slightly above average in scoring runs, but are close to the bottom in preventing them, hence their familiar spot towards the bottom of the division/power rankings. A bright spot as KC fans again look to the future: Alex Gordon ranks 5th best OF in the AL in terms of WAR.

29: Baltimore Orioles (27)
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JKoblyn: Watching a MLB season unfold as an Orioles fan has to be a lot like reading a Jaybone thread from start to finish. You start out with high hopes, and for a while things look like they’re finally going to go your way, but then the inevitable reality check happens, all those hopes get pissed on and you find yourself screaming “What the fuck?!? Why can’t you ever learn from your mistakes?!?” At least Jaybone has his supporters; no one can defend the front office of the Orioles.

30: Houston Astros (30)
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JKoblyn: A good friend of mine has been a lifelong Astros fan, and has been sitting in his shower, frantically scrubbing to rid himself of the feeling of being raped by both Philadelphia and Atlanta at the trade deadline. Most more than casual fans can cope with having to rebuild for 3 or 4 years, but when your front office does it by trading cost controlled young studs for non-premium prospects, that’s a bitter load to swallow.

 

Originally Posted by sean614

Larry Chipper Jones annointed us the best team hes ever seen in the bigs including the 90's yanks.

I gave Chipper every opportunity to submit his rankings, and event sent him 2 followups this afternoon before I posted them. If his vote would've put Philly in sole possession of 1st, take it out on him and his lack of participation this month.

I'd complain about something, but UD didn't post these.

2 rankers felt that Philly's pitching makes them #1, and the other 2 felt that Boston's offense makes them #1. The result was 2 #1 teams - don't see how you can be pissed that your team was one of them.

In a month and a half, the American League Champion Texas Rangers (current rank #4) will begin the defense of their AL title against the New York Yankees (current rank #3), in the divisional round of the playoffs. With Texas rotation performing pretty well, the lineup clicking plus Beltre to return, and the bullpen now completely solid with the additions of Uehara and Adams, I have to say that I think the Rangers will defeat the Yankees for the 2nd straight year... this time the home field advantage is in Arlington.

For those who say that matchup isn't set yet, feel free to call me out in October if it doesn't play out that way... because it will.

Dbacks at 11 is just lol worthy.

#1 Baby! Yeah! Suck on that everyone else! Whoooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Originally Posted by team_josh122

at some point ppl gotta give the dbacks some credit. a month from now they could be 5 games up in the west and the giants would still be ahead of them in these retarded power ranking.

I had them ranked better than San Francisco, and if they pull away like you said I'm sure everyone else will too

 

Originally Posted by AMARTIN1181

Toronto and Tampa > LA Angels... whoever posted in a diff thread that Toronto could win the AL west was getting carried away, but I still take either of those teams over the suckitude that is the Angels. Their lineup is abysmal and Weaver and Haren and Santana can't keep pitchign complete games. Texas will coast to the division.

Atlanta > Texas because their lineup is pretty great even without mccan and heyward being unable to hit. Great pitching in Hotlanta too... how underrated is Tim Hudson, for real? Go look at his career stats and see how he stacks up, pretty absurd.
And lastly,
Philly > Boston. How you geniuses can put the Red Sox ahead of the Phillies when they have like 2 good starters is beyond me. They won 2 out of 3 vs the yankees so they should be #1, that's absurd. Their top 6 in the order is the best in baseball, but pitching rules in august and september and particularly in the post season. I'll take any of the playoff contenders rotations over Boston in a 5 or 7 game series... Not to mention how absurdly stacked the phillies are. Any team with Cliff Lee and Halladay is the best in baseball, and the Phils lineup is sick now too with the addition of Pence. Just absurd that it's even a question who the best team in baseball is. I don't think Boston can even make the world series unless Bedard becomes a monster or Bucholz comes back somehow. I mean you're really going to throw LAckey out there in a post season game? LOL. I know they've destroyed the yankees so far this year, but in a playoff series I think the Yanks stack up well. Texas could easily win the AL too. Beckett has come back to earth recently too.

Nice writeup tho koblyn, enjoyed it

So you call out people for ranking Boston above Philly because of starting pitching, but then you completely disregard the best pitching staff in the AL (Angels) and rank Tampa and Toronto above the Halos. I see no reason the Angels pitching staff can't continue to do what they've been doing considering the season is 2/3 of the way completed. I guess if you believe the Angels starting pitching can't keep it up, then you must believe there's no way Vernon Wells, Torii Hunter, and Bobby Abreu can continue to hit so far below their career numbers? The Angels obviously have a difficult task ahead of them in chasing Texas down, but it's also important to point out Texas just finished playing by far the easiest stretch of their schedule with most of the games at home. Texas faces a brutal upcoming schedule playing the Angels (7 games), Boston (7 games), Tampa Bay (6 games), and the White Sox (3 games) in their next 23 games. Meanwhile, the Angels play Texas (7 games), O's (3 games), White Sox (2 games), Seattle (7 games), Twins (3 games). The Angels also have 10 games left with the Rangers, with 7 of those games being played in Anaheim.

The Angels are finished. And yes I expect Bobby Wells and Hunter to keep sucking cuz they're fucking old and finished.

Upton for NL MVP

Don't be mad cuz ur team is finished... and yeah i did say that like 20 games into the year and I had serious doubts about the starting pitching, which has been excellent. I was obviously kidding too since no team is finished 20 games into the season, particularly a team with a 200m dollar payroll and CC sabathia

 

Originally Posted by kellykip

The Angels have been in emergency cleanup mode ever since Mike Trout came up and redefined shitting the bed.

Haha. I know you're just trying to piss me off, but doubt anyone can shit the bed as the youngest player in baseball over a whopping 43 AB's.

 

Originally Posted by gamma21

Haha. I know you're just trying to piss me off, but doubt anyone can shit the bed as the youngest player in baseball over a whopping 43 AB's.

True, but if I'm remembering that thread correctly, there were some loltastic projections of what his stats were gonna end up being for this season.