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After only 3 days, I have my first ridiculous San Diego story...

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  1. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

    San Diego, CA
    United States

    Posts: 27,293
    Joined: Jul 06

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:04pm)

    So me and sweetness go hit that bars last night. A ton of rum and diets later and things get fuzzy. Im not sure how/when it happened, but i ended up eating a burrito wth some girl and sweetness was nowhere to be found. Next thing i know, we're back at her place making out on the couch. This is where the craziness happens.

    Out of nowhere, so dude comes out yelliing and kicks me out. So im out front, alone, completely confused. I hung around cause i was afraid this dude my go apeshit and i was gonna have to fight him. Next thing i know, the door flys open, and this guy starts tossing all this girls shit on the front lawn. I obv go get in this dudes face, but he wasnt having it. He was a pussy, but he continued to throw this girls shit all over the lawn. She is now outside crying like a fool. She starts to pack all her shit in her station wagon, and being the gentleman I am, i obv help. No lie, this dude legit tossed this girls bike across the lawn lol.

    Anyway, we pack all this girls shit in her car. And being the drunk ass I am, we pile in the car, and sleep on all her shit. Pile of clothes, hangers... you name it. We were cuddling on her life belongings. Anyway, she told me this dude was just her friend and she was only staying there a few days till she could moved into her place. Apparently this guy had other ideas lol. Well i woke up this morning, in her car, snuggling on her shit (btw she wasnt having it when i was trying to bone), and obv started to make fun of her.

    She then drove me around to find sweetness car and i met him there. I got her number before getting out, but i dont know her name. Plus, her phone was smashed cause the "roommate" chucked it a mile last night. Hopefully when i hit her up in a week, shell be ready for sex.

    As of now, im pretty sure she is homeless and phoneless. I feel like a homewrecker lol.
  2. Camz Camz is offline

    Lafayette, LA
    United States

    Posts: 12,414
    Joined: May 06

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:05pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    1st
    Edited By: Camz Dec 30th, 2011 at 05:05 PM
  3. Moonlight Graham Moonlight Graham is offline

    PA
    United States

    Posts: 6,442
    Joined: Mar 09

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:07pm) in reply to Camz

    weeeeeeeee
  4. LizardBoy LizardBoy is offline

    Evansville, IN
    United States

    Posts: 4,234
    Joined: Nov 05

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:08pm) in reply to Moonlight Graham

    LOL at station wagon. Was she 50?
  5. LakersnYanks LakersnYanks is offline

    Redlands, CA
    United States

    Posts: 2,398
    Joined: Apr 09

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:09pm) in reply to Camz

    Pics of this tranny?
  6. mdshack14 mdshack14 is offline

    Auburn Hills, MI
    United States

    Posts: 5,646
    Joined: May 07

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:09pm) in reply to LakersnYanks

     
  7. Popperhead Popperhead is online now

    Toronto
    Canada

    Posts: 13,076
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:09pm) in reply to mdshack14

    lol JB is an unmineable diamond in my book. I myself nailed a potential Vagrant about month ago Keep up the good stories bro
  8. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

    San Diego, CA
    United States

    Posts: 27,293
    Joined: Jul 06

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:10pm) in reply to Popperhead

    If i had to guess, id say she was in her 20's and probably 3inches taller then me. I dont remember standing next to her at all, but laying next to her, i assumed she was really tall.
    Thread Starter
  9. Donkey Kong Donkey Kong is offline it's on like me

    United States

    Posts: 6,745
    Joined: Dec 07

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:11pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    thought for sure she was waking up with pee over everything she owns
  10. zander zander is offline anomaly in his crotch

    Malaysia

    Posts: 6,029
    Joined: Dec 06

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:11pm) in reply to Donkey Kong

    The life of Jaybone is never boring... a good start to New Year's weekend...
  11. Glo4m Glo4m is offline Confess to me

    Posts: 14,911
    Joined: Dec 06

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:13pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

     
    Originally Posted by Jaybone2315 View Post

    We were cuddling on her life belongings.

    Quite possibly the funniest line in a jaybone story ever

    well done sir, moar moar moar
  12. cmval cmval is offline

    Posts: 11,407
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:13pm) in reply to Glo4m

    Good thing you didnt urinate on her belongings
  13. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

    San Diego, CA
    United States

    Posts: 27,293
    Joined: Jul 06

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:19pm) in reply to cmval

    To me, one of the funnier thing was waking up this morning to sweetness phone call (he had no fucking clue where i was) so i pull my phone out of my pocket, and simply text him "im alive". I then roll over, with my face smushed in one of her shirts and say, "ive done some crazy shit, but this is the most ridiculous place ive ever woken up." She laughed and i proceed the slide my hand down her jeans to grab her bare ass. At the time, it made complete sense to do so. She wasnt wearing panties either. Fucking "roommate" completely cramped my style.
    Edited By: Jaybone2315 Dec 30th, 2011 at 05:19 PM
    Thread Starter
  14. Mr Galt Mr Galt is offline sister-in-law's a ho

    Overland Park, KS
    United States

    Posts: 9,094
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:20pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    If it was his couch then I think I understand his reaction.
  15. cmval cmval is offline

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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:21pm) in reply to Mr Galt

    You guys need a film crew to follow you around out there.
  16. mordan mordan is offline

    NC
    United States

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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:22pm) in reply to cmval

    haha good read, that shit is hilarious
     
  17. kasey_gcp kasey_gcp is offline

    Ozark, MO
    United States

    Posts: 2,302
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:26pm) in reply to mordan

    I think it's a cool story bro, but I'm not really sure. Let me give my buddy who's an expert on cool stories a call.....
  18. DBo Fo Sho DBo Fo Sho is offline Taking advantage of Official Threads

    Scottsdale, AZ
    United States

    Posts: 8,989
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:30pm) in reply to kasey_gcp

    How do u get shit like this to happen to u everytime u decide to drink? I'm pretty sure I only get a drinking related story once every 6 months. I must be doing something wrong.
  19. Popperhead Popperhead is online now

    Toronto
    Canada

    Posts: 13,076
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:33pm) in reply to DBo Fo Sho

    I can only assume JB power drinks a pile in a short span that results in his BOD episodes
  20. 36crazyfists 36crazyfists is offline

    Fairfax, VA
    United States

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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:35pm) in reply to Popperhead

    Stqndard reacting to seeing jay on your couch, drunk...
     
  21. Edub Edub is offline

    San Diego, CA
    United States

    Posts: 1,085
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:36pm) in reply to 36crazyfists

    standard lol
  22. Sandman_Good Sandman_Good is offline

    Salt Lake City, UT
    United States

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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:36pm) in reply to DBo Fo Sho

    Jaybone = Sandman ten years ago. Good fkn times.

    Keep em coming!!!!


    I hope you are smarter than I was...this story has a lot of rough times bro.
  23. thereraise thereraise is offline

    San Diego, CA
    United States

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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:43pm) in reply to Sandman_Good

    what neighborhood/bars were you partying at?

    the late night burrito is the standard drunk food on the west coast, california burrito's all the way man
  24. zeppelinzoso16 zeppelinzoso16 is offline world traveler

    Posts: 6,272
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:45pm) in reply to thereraise

     
    Originally Posted by thereraise View Post

    the late night burrito is the standard drunk food on the west coast, california burrito's all the way man

  25. thereraise thereraise is offline

    San Diego, CA
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:47pm) in reply to zeppelinzoso16

    idk man, its my standard drunk food i guess then......Maybe because the taco shop is on the walk home from the bars?
  26. Moonlight Graham Moonlight Graham is offline

    PA
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:50pm) in reply to thereraise

    Also surprised you didn't pee her back-back.
  27. Z-Fresh Z-Fresh is online now

    Encinitas, CA
    United States

    Posts: 4,476
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:52pm) in reply to Glo4m

     
    Originally Posted by Glo4m View Post

    Quite possibly the funniest line in a jaybone story ever

    well done sir, moar moar moar

    Hahahah! That's what I was thinking. I laughed for a good 7 seconds after reading that.
  28. djg23 djg23 is offline

    United Kingdom

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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:54pm) in reply to Moonlight Graham

     
    Originally Posted by Moonlight Graham View Post

    Also surprised you didn't pee her back-back.


    was def expecting the story to end with you pissing all over her stuff
  29. zeppelinzoso16 zeppelinzoso16 is offline world traveler

    Posts: 6,272
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    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:54pm) in reply to thereraise

     
    Originally Posted by thereraise View Post

    idk man, its my standard drunk food i guess then......Maybe because the taco shop is on the walk home from the bars?

    Meh it's 2am and I was going to post "most definitely" but had the wonderful idea of posting a picture of Mos Def instead

    I <3 Burritos. Miss them more than anything! Most definitely the way to go after the bar in Cali

    Also, I'm curious if JB has ever urinated on a girl while cuddling. Hope I didn't miss that thread
    Edited By: zeppelinzoso16 Dec 30th, 2011 at 05:56 PM
  30. Sandman_Good Sandman_Good is offline

    Salt Lake City, UT
    United States

    Posts: 6,678
    Joined: Aug 07

    Dec 30th, 2011 (12/30/2011 5:56pm) in reply to zeppelinzoso16

     
    Originally Posted by zeppelinzoso16 View Post

    Meh it's 2am and I was going to post "most definitely" but had the wonderful idea of posting a picture of Mos Def instead

    I <3 Burritos. Miss them more than anything!

    I knew what you were saying.

    Cool points for me?
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