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Posts: 2,693
Joined: Jul 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 3:49am) in reply to mdshack14
Two baby seals walk into a club.
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Posts: 469
Joined: Jun 07Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 4:11am) in reply to Randinho
since u said no racist jokes i guess my what do u call 4 old black men by a barn? joke wont work here
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Posts: 3,527
Joined: May 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 4:13am) in reply to mdshack14
Joke
What did movietime99 say to the OP
punch line
Eat shit -
Posts: 753
Joined: Nov 07Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 4:15am) in reply to Movetime99
he said good jokes
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Posts: 469
Joined: Jun 07Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 4:16am) in reply to Movetime99
why did movietime99 cross da road? cause his dick was still in da chicken
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Posts: 10,169
Joined: Mar 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 4:26am) in reply to Bigz
Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.
"What was that?" The others asked her.
"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy." A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked.
"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."
They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked her.
"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this fucking sweater!" -
Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:45am) in reply to OGPokerman
I worry about my nan. If shes alone in the house and she falls... does she make a noise? No, No, im kidding im kidding. Shes dead.
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:46am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
I live near a special needs school. theres a sign outside that says "slow children."
I thought, thats cant do much for their self esteem - but look on the positive side - of course; they cant read it. -
Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:46am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
99% of girls kiss with their eyes closed. Which is why its so hard to identify a rapist.
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:47am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
I have no problem buying tampons. Im a fairly modern man, - but APPARANTLY they're not a 'proper' present. ... Happy birthday mum :O
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:48am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
I try not to dwell on the past these days , but I still cant forgive the germans for the way they treated my grandad in the war. Passed over for promotion time and time again...
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:49am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
If any of you remember when princess Diana died, and all London got was a fountain. I was a bit dissapointed. I suppose its better than Paris, they only got a 'slow down' sign
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:50am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
I got my girldfriend a book called cheap and easy vegetarian cooking. Which is great for her, cause not only is she a vegetarian...
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:50am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
all gays are fucking arse holes.
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:51am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
At what point do you start worrying about recieving penis enlargement emails? - Well im currently recieving about 10 a day. 8 are from my girlfriend. Its the 2 from my mum that really hurt.
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:51am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
throwing acid is wrong; in some peoples eyes
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:52am) in reply to mdshack14
I went to the races last week with a friend. He said "dont back the heavily handicapped horses", I said, "I know, im not a fucking idiot"... "I know for them its all about the taking part"... "in their own way, they're all winners"
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:53am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
The camera adds 10 pounds. Stop eating fucking cameras
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:53am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Being raped. -
Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:54am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
I'm middle class but hard - al dente if you prefer...
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:54am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
...and if you understood the al dente reference, congratulations, you're middle class too!
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:55am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
I apologise unreservedly for calling you a cunt - you clearly have neither the depth nor the capacity to give pleasure
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Posts: 213
Joined: Apr 06Feb 29th, 2008 (2/29/2008 7:55am) in reply to MNEMIC_UK
Q) whats black and white and red all over?
A) half a zebra
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Tweets from P5ers
dazedace
2012-05-25 14:49:25
Playing Venetian Event 1 day 1b
ASAALpoker
2012-05-25 14:48:52
RT @rpetty80: Ford full house (drop,pen,con,try) is 34s and Evans is 51s. They rarely come in but have to take the one for Evans #greedy
brianchastings
2012-05-25 14:47:54
“@nirenel: @brianchastings Looking good in this CardPlayer interview :) DraftDay !!!” Thank you! Go @DraftDay!
brianchastings
2012-05-25 14:47:53
RT @CardRunners: Watch @brianchastings in this new interview with CardPlayer talking SCOOP, Isildur, and more --> http://t.co/DdEJJEXN
JapanRep420
2012-05-25 14:47:32
Just had to use my sick time...almost puked at work. Time to go home and sleep. #yuck #runbad
VinnyCout
2012-05-25 14:47:16
Negocio e joga um tênis pra relaxar agora, grind forte e traves hoje.
WireEden
2012-05-25 14:47:01
Absolutely can't wait for tomorrow. Wire time followed by a house party.
nofearpkr
2012-05-25 14:46:34
1st break nearly dbl of the startingstack, 3 danish Player on my table, is denmark Part of scandinavia, at least theY play alike.
pauliepulera
2012-05-25 14:46:26
Really getting tired of getting 3 outed from ppl who shove their stacks in constantly
OneM24
2012-05-25 14:46:01
Can i get am Amen from all who immediately press zero to get an operator when you call a company and get a machine?
mickeydp
2012-05-25 14:43:31
@theczar19 @RSibast Danish Championship, some timbey 3k with 160 players or so and 40 left. No idea whats up top though
MandaLeatherman
2012-05-25 14:37:52
RT @BovadaPoker: Conquer A New World by qualifying for APT Macau http://t.co/IXV34WN9
WireEden
2012-05-25 14:37:29
57 players left in the Vegas qualifier. 2,700 @ 40/80 #OneTime
cdizzymbaby
2012-05-25 14:37:26
RT @NCDOT_I85: I-85, Mile Marker 36, South, Charlotte, Mecklenburg, Road Obstruction , Road Impassable, at 5/25 2:43 PM
cdizzymbaby
2012-05-25 14:37:15
“@sarahgiarratana: Someone spilled styrofoam all over I85, it's like driving through snow. #amused” this explains it lol
MandaLeatherman
2012-05-25 14:36:58
“@KristyArnett: @MandaLeatherman No :) just haven't seen me in awhile!” dang! Looks awesome. ;)
mickeydp
2012-05-25 14:36:15
RT @ZooeySiri: Siri, why don't we just build more houses for people?
BonzoC
2012-05-25 14:31:04
RT @HornyFacts: Sex > Weed > Bacon > Anything Else
theczar19
2012-05-25 14:30:43
RT @stealthmunk: So @worldpokertour what does @floesknowshoes get for winning POY? Pat on the back for a job well done?
allingomes
2012-05-25 14:29:52
Oops falha nossa! Correio Braziliense mesmo...;) RT @renatodmy: @allingomes é diario msm,nao seria correio braziliense nao?
twojacksjoe
2012-05-25 14:29:19
Your friends and I don't really know how to tell you this, but...you're a terrible driver.
Daniel_Blum
2012-05-25 14:29:15
I AM BARNEY THE DINOSAUR
Champ1192
2012-05-25 14:29:12
RT @Trende19: Amuricasbest: Bargain Hunters http://t.co/zVSsrk1E
Daniel_Blum
2012-05-25 14:29:06
MAKE ME RICH
TheReaLMander
2012-05-25 14:27:26
Another shot at this venetian $400 reentry.. glgl
allingomes
2012-05-25 14:26:39
E eu batendo foto pro Diário Brasiliense em pleno transito de Brasilia. Quem vê pensa né... http://t.co/5OFEKpHL
NA
2012-05-25 14:26:37
Why can't I know I have cancer, then do nothing? - Prostate screening is truly a situation in which ignorance is bli... http://t.co/Ch3h1y1i
brrrraat82
2012-05-25 14:26:06
RT @bigkatmn: @Cagewm it means the world to me that you follow me back, your music got me through some tough times in my life. Thanks Ca ...
brrrraat82
2012-05-25 14:25:40
SORRY, ahem, sorry for shouting
brrrraat82
2012-05-25 14:25:18
if you dont like it, then you aint a hip hop fan....YEAH, IM CALLIN YOU OUT!!! IF YOU DONT LIKE IT YOU NEED TO GO SOUL SEARCHING!
brrrraat82
2012-05-25 14:24:01
wow, no i mean WOW...that new @KillerMikeGTO RAP Music is insane. dont believe me? here--->http://t.co/0EVMqZud
BonzoC
2012-05-25 14:20:57
RT @HornyFacts: If she rolls your blunts and gives you blowjobs, #WifeThatBitch
jamestownstory
2012-05-25 14:20:12
Get Jamestown Story's song Scream (Usher Cover) for free in exchange for one tweet: http://t.co/UkGP9b6o #TFAT
MandaLeatherman
2012-05-25 14:17:04
“@JeffMadsenobv: @OnAirGirl @MandaLeatherman @Chi_Town_Beotch @joesebok Miss you all toooooooooooo” yo posse! I'm comin' home!
ASAALpoker
2012-05-25 14:16:51
RT @majornelson: 35 years ago today (in a galaxy far, far away) the saga that was Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope opened in theaters ht ...
PocketFives Rankings
| Player | PLB | PRO | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
1 |
Flush_Entity | 1st 7,569 |
2nd 15 |
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2 |
Gettin Daize | 3rd 7,210 |
3rd 16 |
|
3 |
Big Huni | 9th 6,652 |
1st 14 |
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4 |
weavel | 2nd 7,408 |
13th 28 |
|
5 |
mtstackin88 | 4th 7,034 |
10th 23 |
| Country | Top 20 PLB |
P5s Members |
Prev Rank |
||
| 1 |  Canada |
103770 | 1924 | 1st | |
| 2 |  United Kingdom |
102421 | 1855 | 2nd | |
| 3 |  Costa Rica |
89458 | 123 | 4th | |
| 4 |  Australia |
88336 | 994 | 3rd | |
| 5 |  Mexico |
87509 | 184 | 5th |
Denmark
Russian Federation
Sweden
Brazil
Germany
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