According to Carrie (my woman) I have changed over the last 4.5 months I've been in Korea.

I'm not much for drama, however it seems as though I can't get shit right. It's almost like I'm cursed in relationships. Not that being in the Army helps any. I mean, my marriage lasted 4 years and ended promptly after I returned from a deployment (because she felt the need to fuck her ex boyfriend while I was gone, and she was pregnant with my daughter...yeah I know....I know)

It seemed I was in a relationship with a great woman when I first came to Korea. Now, however, there seems to be a problem. Everything took a nosedive about two weeks ago. She's depressed because we're so far apart. She calls and I'm not in my room to take the call because I am out getting some thing to eat, watching a free movie in the base theater, or at the gym...so she gets upset. She says I don't talk much on the phone, and I don't take her feelings into consideration because I don't listen to her (or at least she thinks I'm not listening). I think the little things become bigger when you can't actually confront them in person with each other. I don't see them as a big deal and am used to being away for extended periods of time. She is not used to it, was never in the military, and has never been involved with somebody who's been gone for more than a week...if that.

So I am going home the first week of May, and have planned a weekend at a resort in Orlando for when she picks me up at the airport. She knows about this. What she does not know, is that I also made arrangements for a cruise the following week, which she took off because I am coming home. So I'm driving to Virginia for 5 days the 3rd week I'm home to see family and friends...she's supposed to come along and is aware of that as well. BUT...I am now told she's not sure how she feels about all of this right now, and she's not sure if she can deal with it for another 6 months after I leave in May to come back. Also, that she isn't sure I'm the same person, and that she doesn't want to wait for something that may be a lost cause because we're too different than when I first left. "I have some things to think about" she says.

WHAT THE FUCK? Are you serious? So now I'm supposed to wait around while she thinks about if it's worth it for her to wait for me? Here's an idea for you Carrie...if you have to think about it...FORGET IT! Seriously, how do you commit to somebody, and just decide you can't handle it. I'm getting out of the Army (not for her mind you, but because I want to), my whole life is going to change, and we won't have to deal with this shit anymore if you can just tough it out for another 7 months or so (because I'm home for one month in between now and when I'm out). Am I supposed to wait around like I'm on trial for a fucking verdict, while you "think about some things" and get back to me with the decision YOU made for US? Fuck that IMO. I'm about to say hit the road.

I'm sure I left a lot out of this, but that's the bottom line for the most part. At least, that's how I feel about it.

Thoughts OT?

(I know everybody is going to say she's fucking somebody else and doesn't want to deal with me coming home...blah blah, she's a whore, blah blah...I know everybody will say that. Let's assume these feelings are solely based on our situation and nobody else is involved. I'd appreciate that. kthx)

Sorry...cliffnotes:

Relationship with woman and had to come to Korea
Little shit turns into big shit because of distance
Going home in May, planned resort vacation in Orlando and cruise/road trip with her
She says she needs to think about things and isn't sure how she feels
I am pissed because I have to wait for her to figure out what she wants? Fuck that IMO

Shes already decided what she wants she just doesnt know how to tell you. Find some easy girl and take her on the cruise. so f obv

Relationships are hard enough when you aren't seperated for so many months. Try and make it til you get home and then get a feel for where things are at. Hopefully time together will heal your problems. Lasty, if she can't wait 6 more months on you then she isn't the right person for you anyway imo.

BTW if she is holding your OT shirt make sure you get that before you ditch her.

how do u expect us to give an oppinion on what shes thinking without giving us pics on how she looks?..

and when a woman says "i have some things to think about"..this obv is always bad..women hardly have any good reason to think..and when they do..nothing good could come from it

Pics from October right before I came here first week in November. (yes, I shaved my head at the end of October)

There ya go. AS if it matters lol.

Such detailed analysis IMO

i think you just have to have a talk with her and find out whats going on..

After reading several responses, I've come to the conclusion (semi conclusion) that I had the same thoughts as the consensus here. Fuck me! I hate being right sometimes.

I haven't paid for the cruise yet, so I may just nix it all together. That's probably the best option.

I am speaking with her. I mentioned it may be better for us to live our lives as individuals until I get out. AT that time we can meet and see where things are, reevaluate our feelings for each other. I think if I do this, it will make things much easier. There just seems to be such a thick tension and strain on things that would go away if we didn't feel like we HAD to do certain things that are generally expected in a committed relationship. Honestly, I think we'd be better off until I get home and actually get along better if we were just to chat when we have time and felt like it, and not have to MAKE time because it's expected...if that makes sense. We'll see.

Funny how everybody I know comes to me for advice. Sometimes the advice I would give them in the exact same situation, is the hardest to follow yourself. Why is that?

Dude, I was a man whore for way to fucking long. Read previous thread...but as much as I like getting laid, it's not a priority to fuck a new woman every week any longer. I'm over that phase of my life. It was fun, but not fulfilling.

wtg...so dont call her or nothing for 7 months..when u get back..dont expect things to start where they ended before it got bad and go with the flow...

definatley hump or koreo cookie thoe....it is a must....

blah blah...we always had good times. She's got all the "normal" pictures. I have the ones I want to look at and remember good times.

She looks classy from the photos obviously. Fuck her IMO. It's an absolute slap in the face to wait on a girl who isn't sure if she wants to be with you. Don't lower yourself and wait and see how she feels. Relationships are all about balance and you both have to care about eachother equally. Once that balance is off-set is when the relationship goes down the shitter. There's way too many girls to wait around for ho's who need time to think.

I enjoyed the fact that her tattoo matches the black shirt she had on in the 1st pic, awesome! Also, gingers have no souls and are not to be trusted.

I asked myself one question when i saw her pics. Has he ever put it in her butt? I decided you had.

Yo man I waited awhile to respond to this because I know exactly how you feel. I hear this shit all the time about how much I have changed and blah blah blah. Women who have never been away from home that long or away from someone doesnt understand what it is like.

My girlfriend told me yesterday that I don't know what it feels like to be left behind when in fact I know everything about that and probably more than she does. She thinks I have changed soo much but it is really not the case. They don't understand the sacrifices that we have to make. They only know what their little ol mind thinks that they know and that isnt much. They do not know how we truely feel about being away. Right now it is my choice to work overseas but when I was in the Military it wasnt my choice.

You didnt ask to go to Korea did you. I am pretty sure the sent you there. We have to do what we are told because well thats just the way it is and we suck it up and do it. They don't understand the loyalty the military has. You dont ask why the fuck are you sending me. When the say jump you say how high. Thats just the way it is.

It is really hard to express yourself to your g/f the way you really want to because you have to be the man and try to hold those things in. They think since you arent talking to them every minute of the day that you are off work that you don't care about them and they say you changed because you usta talk to me all the time blah blah blah when in fact we just need a little time to gather thoughts and bring ourselves together from all the indirect emotions that we get from being away from everything that truely means something to us.

Does your girlfriend undersatnd those things. I mean you have a child that is growing up and you are missing birthdays, you are missing a lot of very critical things in your daughters childhood that you can never get back. Does she understand that. Does she know what that feeling is like. She is thinking truely about herself and not about the you and her working through it and getting through a small stepping stone. Your daughter probably misses you a lot and probably always says where is daddy and you know what she might still be a child but in an indirect way she knows why you are over there and she understands it the best she can. Tell your g/f to accept the fact that you are over there or part ways.......you have a lot to look forward to in the future with you getting out of the Army and she can either be in it or just a memory. Her choice