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bing blang blaow- The Raven

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  1. xbrokenacesx xbrokenacesx is offline

    Orlando, FL
    United States

    Posts: 443
    Joined: Mar 07

    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:25am)

    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QPvyBxuKePE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QPvyBxuKePE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" mce_src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QPvyBxuKePE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></object>
     
  2. warden warden is offline

    Tucson, AZ
    United States

    Posts: 15,525
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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:29am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    loooooooool

    i love everything about this
     2
  3. Lord Supremo Lord Supremo is offline actually a tuvalu lord (sigh)

    Tuvalu

    Posts: 15,811
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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:32am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    I wasn't expecting much but that's actually very well done. Nh, good find
  4. RaidenRadio RaidenRadio is offline

    Millsboro, DE
    United States

    Posts: 5,023
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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:34am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    gold
  5. thefuture021 thefuture021 is offline

    Dallas, TX
    United States

    Posts: 8,797
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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:42am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    pretty damn impressive
  6. smcrawford2 smcrawford2 is online now The Decision Tree

    London
    Canada

    Posts: 1,858
    Joined: Oct 07

    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:53am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    quite awesome
     
  7. xbrokenacesx xbrokenacesx is offline

    Orlando, FL
    United States

    Posts: 443
    Joined: Mar 07

    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:58am) in reply to smcrawford2

    <span>Once upon a midnight dreary,
    while I grinded, buzzed and bleary,
    On an NL50 table as I'd often done before,
    Eagerly I wished the morrow;
    vainly I had sought to borrow
    From my cash surcease of sorrow
    in the bosom of a whore -
    With the loose and lusty lady
    whom her patrons call Lenore -
    In my heart forevermore.

    Thus I sat heads up, unshaven,
    with a player named 'The Raven.'
    He existed for aggression,
    treating poker like it's war;
    With his beady gaze appraising,
    he was raising, always raising
    Any two! It was amazing,
    such opponents I adore:
    Wait for cards to loot the lagtard,
    massive profits lie in store!
    Soon that stack is his no more.

    Then my hand Fortuna graces
    with a pair of scarlet aces,
    And I flat. The Raven raises.
    I delay, my spirits soar.
    Call. The flop comes single-suited,
    and he shoves. It's undisputed:
    He is begging to be looted,
    he's a spewer to the core!
    Now he has it, something tells me.
    Intuition I ignore,
    And I make the call once more.

    "Bing blang blaow," the Raven uttered.
    "What the bloody f*ck?" I sputtered,
    And I numbly watched the table where
    the Raven made his score
    With a deuce and seven suited;
    flopped the flush, and I was looted.
    What a cooler!
    Nerves uprooted, anger seeped through every pore.
    Checked my roll,
    which was constructed through the nanos' endless chore:
    Eighty cents, and nothing more.

    "Raven in the house!" he'd spoken and,
    "This fifty is a token
    Of my mammoth skill at poker.
    You'd have spent it at the store
    For your groceries, I'm guessing.
    Well, too bad, is that distressing?
    Soon I'll cash this verdant blessing;
    ere I place it in my drawer,
    I will rub it on my titties,
    as I've done in days of yore.
    Nothing else could please me more."

    Such a rage his words did trigger,
    and I shouted, "F*ggot n*gger!
    Shut your hole, o fishy offal
    that has drifted to the shore!
    Retard donk, you smell like midden!
    Hope your mom's with cancer ridden!
    And the words that you have written
    slight legitimacy bore;
    You will promptly lose that fifty,
    knowing naught of Sklansky's lore,
    Lose that bill and many more."

    But the Raven cawed his ditty,
    "Docs on file and cash on titty!
    You're pathetic;
    I feel pity as I never have before:
    Sing of your denied nutrition
    and express your true contrition,
    With an adequate submission,
    I might possibly restore
    Your pecuniary status.
    Bring your sorrows to the fore,
    Only that, and nothing more."

    Lacking money, feeling hollowed,
    my apology had followed, "Bing blang blaow"
    from lips departing as a fetid poisoned spore,
    "Of my cash I have no traces
    for Lenore's diseased embraces,
    Nor to stuff our pudgy faces
    with the burgers we adore!
    I am sorry for my language,
    ship some back, sir, I implore!"
    Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

    With my dollars he departed.
    I stood up then, broken-hearted,
    Threw my mouse and punched my laptop
    and collapsed upon the floor,
    And my eyes have all the seeming
    of Phil Hellmuth's when he's steaming,
    And my awful, tilted screaming
    through my mouth will always pour;
    And my roll from the vexation
    that has pierced me to the core
    Shall be lifted - nevermore. </span>
     
    Thread Starter
  8. Hallettcopta Hallettcopta is offline

    Raleigh, NC
    United States

    Posts: 3,343
    Joined: Jun 08

    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:59am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    Even though this bling blang blaow thing is over done and old, this was pretty friggin awesome still

    2+2 has alot of creative people
  9. Hughes4 Hughes4 is offline

    Scranton, PA
    United States

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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:59am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    *sent chills down my spine.

    how did he get Benjamin Linus to read it?
  10. jasmith85 jasmith85 is offline

    United States

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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 1:02am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    i lawled
  11. TheFirm53 TheFirm53 is offline

    Chicago, IL
    United States

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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 1:02am) in reply to smcrawford2

  12. wackyJaxon wackyJaxon is offline Admin X

    Vilnius
    Lithuania

    Posts: 12,260
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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 4:45am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    This is gold!

    [X] Post more

      1 
  13. Niceguy Niceguy is offline I will find you.

    NV
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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 4:49am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

  14. bfactor bfactor is offline Server Clogger

    Posts: 22,135
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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 4:53am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    ho... ly... fuck
  15. JasonBDizzle JasonBDizzle is offline account restricted by moderator -- must reply in this thread before posting anywhere else on the boards

    Virgin Islands, U.S.

    Posts: 3,727
    Joined: Nov 09

    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 4:59am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    now that is some good shit
  16. Scha Scha is offline Creator of SchaArcade & SchaCam

    Trondheim
    Norway

    Posts: 9,187
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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 5:05am) in reply to Niceguy

    That was pretty damn awesome
  17. popesizzle popesizzle is offline

    New Brunswick, NJ
    United States

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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 7:22am) in reply to Scha

    This is so sickly creative.
  18. Anywayz_ Anywayz_ is offline

    United Kingdom

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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 7:55am) in reply to popesizzle

    LOL thats fuckin awesome!
  19. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

    San Diego, CA
    United States

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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 8:27am) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    When I saw the title my initial thought was, "oh lord, not this shit again"

    But damn... that was fantastic.
  20. MUPokerPlayer MUPokerPlayer is online now

    MO
    United States

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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:29pm) in reply to xbrokenacesx

    pretty brilliant dude imo.
  21. DEEZZZ_NUTS DEEZZZ_NUTS is offline

    Minneapolis, MN
    United States

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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 12:54pm) in reply to JasonBDizzle

    really impressive
     
  22. Oh Rale Oh Rale is offline

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    Dec 16th, 2009 (12/16/2009 4:50pm) in reply to JasonBDizzle

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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