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Birds attacking outside my house

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  1. RonKarkovice RonKarkovice is offline

    Yaoundé
    Cameroon

    Posts: 6,379
    Joined: Sep 07

    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:11pm)

    So everytime I or someone else go outside, there's these two birds that are hanging out in the nearby trees and they swoop down and attack us. Short of shooting them, which I can't do because I don't have a gun, how the fuck do I handle this?
  2. ECUgirl ECUgirl is offline

    Posts: 8,486
    Joined: Aug 07

    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:12pm) in reply to RonKarkovice

    Do they have a nest nearby? That's probably what's going on and why they're attacking. See if you can find the nest. I guess you could move it at that point. I dunno. Maybe someone who knows more about birds could answer that question.

    **sounds like they're high up in the trees and it might be difficult to find a nest. So, yeah, I got nothin'. Sorry :)
    Edited By: ECUgirl Jun 21st, 2010 at 08:13 PM
    Reason: Realized I'm retarded
  3. LeftyMark LeftyMark is online now Boss of Birds

    MA
    United States

    Posts: 22,775
    Joined: Jan 07

    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:12pm) in reply to RonKarkovice

    Leave a note on their windshield?
  4. heavyj80 heavyj80 is offline

    West Babylon, NY
    United States

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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:14pm) in reply to LeftyMark

    note on your windshield telling them to please leave ?
    Edited By: heavyj80 Jun 21st, 2010 at 08:14 PM
    Reason: fucking cock lefty
  5. badonkadonk badonkadonk is offline

    Fort McMurray
    Canada

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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:14pm) in reply to LeftyMark

    tennis racket
     
  6. timthegem timthegem is offline

    Anonymous Proxy

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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:20pm) in reply to badonkadonk

    Light their tree on fire and make a run for it while they're distracted.
  7. nastysmell nastysmell is offline

    Huntsville, MO
    United States

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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:38pm) in reply to timthegem

    shit on their porch!
  8. Glo4m Glo4m is offline Confess to me

    Posts: 14,911
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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:39pm) in reply to nastysmell

    man up and handle it, they're just birds
  9. SmokeyCasinos SmokeyCasinos is offline

    CA
    United States

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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:52pm) in reply to Glo4m

    pm theredbaron
  10. rungoodmuch rungoodmuch is offline

    Posts: 2,881
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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:55pm) in reply to SmokeyCasinos

    Spray those mofuckers with the hose
  11. just-jOHnny just-jOHnny is offline I got nothin

    Posts: 4,082
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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 8:56pm) in reply to rungoodmuch

    relocation program.

    prolly a nest they are protecting.
  12. Milo Milo is offline

    Brampton
    Canada

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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 10:11pm) in reply to just-jOHnny

     
    Originally Posted by just-jOHnny View Post

    relocation program.

    prolly a nest they are protecting.

    This. My in-laws have this issue every spring. Robins have a nest on top of their pergola over their deck. For about a month every spring, the deck is off limits.
  13. cizastro cizastro is offline

    Tanzania, United Republic of

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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 10:30pm) in reply to Milo

    Shoot one just to let them know who the boss is. If that doesn't work, tranquilizer darts to put them to sleep. Then, get their nest and cook their eggs into a nice omelet and then put it out on the back porch.

    They probably won't return next year. Your families well being > the well being of a stupid bird
  14. XquiziVex XquiziVex is online now

    French Polynesia

    Posts: 5,746
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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 10:35pm) in reply to cizastro

    The key is to destroy their motivation......

    Broil the babies on high heat, then make a nice rosemary garlic cream sauce and serve over a bed of wild rice.

    Cakebread Chardonnay would be a good pairing.

    Enjoy!!
  15. yardle yardle is offline

    Sherman Oaks, CA
    United States

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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 10:38pm) in reply to XquiziVex

    use another door to go outside?
  16. theredbaron theredbaron is offline

    Edmonton
    Canada

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    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 10:46pm) in reply to SmokeyCasinos

     
    Originally Posted by SmokeyCasinos View Post

    pm theredbaron

    lol
     
  17. that_pope that_pope is offline la la la...I'm so sexy

    Tempe, AZ
    United States

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    Joined: Apr 05

    Jun 21st, 2010 (6/21/2010 11:21pm) in reply to theredbaron

    coat hangers.

    (skip to about 0:52 and watch the rest if you get bored easily)

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