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Campus Security Reports

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  1. El_Tiburon El_Tiburon is offline

    CA
    United States

    Posts: 3,023
    Joined: Mar 06

    Jun 22nd, 2010 (6/22/2010 4:48am)

    Man fears laxative caused color change



    I was going through some old papers and found a few copies of our college paper from 2003. It was my favorite part of the paper because each week they would list 4-5 security reports that were written so seriously it was comical. They always had a large title of the "biggest" story like the one above, followed by the detailed reports....anyways here are a couple from the papers I found:

    10/14/03 6:09am

    An officer was contacted by a man in the Blaine Hall parking lot stating he wanted an ambulance. The man had drank a bottle of laxative and thought he was turning white. Dispatch asked the officer if he was, but security stated "he appeared black" to him. JPD and an ambulance were called, bu the man refused help.

    10/11/03 3:10pm

    Security was called to the east bleachers of the softball fields by a woman asking if he had a Band-Aid. The woman had an ingrown toe nail, and her friend thought it would be fun to step on it. The injured woman had already cleaned the toe and stopped the bleeding, but wanted to keep it clean. Security proceeded to bandage her toe.


    Black floor mat difficult to track down

    10/21/02 8:45am


    The custodian in the Taylor Performing Arts Center reported to security the black floor mat located by the double doors was missing. At first, the custodian thought the door mat to the music department was being borrowed. After three days, and with it still missing, the custodian called security.



    Anybody else have something similar in their college papers?
  2. ihaterats ihaterats is offline

    Anonymous Proxy

    Posts: 18,088
    Joined: Oct 05

    Jun 22nd, 2010 (6/22/2010 4:50am) in reply to El_Tiburon

    This reminds me of some shit: I have a friend who is a COP at a prominant hospital in Cleveland (basically security guards). He told me they did a 2 day investigation because they found an office door left unlocked. The Chief had to personally write a report about it.
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