1. "Im the best thing that ever happened to you and you will end up alone and wishing you had me back."

    that was the same line from the last two exes. i guess i didnt listen very well.

    share yours
    Add moses rob to Rail
  2. "Sorry, i'm not into farm animals"
    Add Hateflops to Rail
  3. prolly the funniest thing i heard all week^^^
    Thread StarterAdd moses rob to Rail
  4. Her-"You better not show that video to anyone."
    Me-"Oh I won't, I promise."
    Add onlyridepow to Rail
  5. "Let's be friends"........
    Add SmokeyCasinos to Rail
  6. im pregnant
    Add MarkFSU1 to Rail
  7.  
    Originally Posted by onlyridepow View Post

    Her-"You better not show that video to anyone."
    Me-"Oh I won't, I promise."

    loooooool
    Add nowapowa to Rail
  8. Her - I swear if I see you again I will cut your dick off

    Me - Well, my sake you wont bitch
    Add Wear to Rail
  9. Dont fuck any of my friends.
     
    Add SyphonSoul to Rail
  10. im pregnant

    I had an X-gf try to pull that. have had a cpl of buddys X's try to pull this.

    IS this a pretty standard job by Xs?
    Add baughman to Rail
  11. thanks for putting this in the poker discussion
    Add pharreal87 to Rail
  12. Size does matter and it doesn't happen to all guys
    1
    Add Mkind16 to Rail
  13. "How did you get in my room?"
    Add rhap to Rail
  14. "No one else is going to put up with your shit."

    "Is this because I won't let you put it in my ass?"
    Add Doc Holladay to Rail
  15. HER "That'll be $150"
    ME "Do you take Mastercard?"
    Add OMGitsBEAST to Rail
  16.  
    Originally Posted by OMGitsBEAST View Post

    HER "That'll be $150"
    ME "Do you take Mastercard?"

    lol
    Add 3kingme3 to Rail
  17. After a year and a half, I didn't get a line. She dropped communication cold turkey. She told a mutual friend later that she does that with all of her boyfriends.
    Add applejackking to Rail
  18. "its really comforting to know that youd rather play poker every sunday than hang out with me"
     
    Add supa_donk to Rail
  19.  
    Originally Posted by supa_donk View Post

    &quot;its really comforting to know that youd rather play poker every <STRIKE>sun</STRIKE>day than hang out with me&quot;

    sf this.
    Add GrenadierB to Rail
  20.  
    Originally Posted by GrenadierB View Post

     
    Originally Posted by supa_donk View Post

    &quot;its really comforting to know that youd rather play poker every <STRIKE>sun</STRIKE>day than hang out with me&quot;

    sf this.

    so standard!
    Add creg27 to Rail
  21. &quot;im soo tired of washing your urine and feces out of my hair&quot;
    Add rejackt to Rail
  22.  
    Originally Posted by rejackt View Post

    &quot;im soo tired of washing your urine and feces out of my hair&quot;

    ty for trying way too hard.
    Add Lameass_ to Rail
  23.  
    Originally Posted by Lameass_ View Post

     
    Originally Posted by rejackt View Post

    &quot;im soo tired of washing your urine and feces out of my hair&quot;

    ty for trying way too hard.

    LLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL
    Add onlyridepow to Rail
  24.  
    Originally Posted by onlyridepow View Post

     
    Originally Posted by Lameass_ View Post

     
    Originally Posted by rejackt View Post

    &quot;im soo tired of washing your urine and feces out of my hair&quot;

    ty for trying way too hard.

    LLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL

    hahahaha
    Add E4ERICK to Rail
  25.  
    Originally Posted by E4ERICK View Post

     
    Originally Posted by onlyridepow View Post

     
    Originally Posted by Lameass_ View Post

     
    Originally Posted by rejackt View Post

    &quot;im soo tired of washing your urine and feces out of my hair&quot;

    ty for trying way too hard.

    LLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL

    hahahaha

    LMAO SFTRUE
    Add SPLIFFA to Rail
  26. Her: I cant be around people that youve hooked up with.
    Me: Well Im not screening who you see, so deal with it or break up with me.
    Her: OK fine, were done.
    Me: OK, good night (roll over and go to sleep)
    Her: Wait thats it?
    Me: Yes, if youre gonna break up with me for something stupid like that then fine.
    Her: Well arent you gonna see if Im okay?
    Me: No, you broke up with me.
    Her: Wellllll ummmmmm ok I take it back then.
    Me: Whatever, good night (roll over and no sex)

    In the morning, I cut her off officially.

    The running question is, though, who broke up with who????
    Add JustGivr to Rail
  27.  
    Originally Posted by supa_donk View Post

    &quot;its really comforting to know that youd rather play poker every sunday than hang out with me&quot;

    Ive really come to realize over the past month even though poker is my life basically that I would rather spend every minute of everyday and take full advantage of everything with my ex then to have played poker and if I could I would take her back and completely stop poker while she was here and pay attention to her..
    Add Bawsten to Rail
  28. This is from a friend who wouldn't commit after four years of living with his girlfriend.

    Laying in bed one night she asks, what would you do if I moved out?

    Him, I guess I would have more room in the bed. She had a moving company already lined up for the next day expecting an answer like that.

    Always crack up when I hear this story.
    Add RADON08 to Rail
  29.  
    Originally Posted by Lameass_ View Post

     
    Originally Posted by rejackt View Post

    &quot;im soo tired of washing your urine and feces out of my hair&quot;

    ty for trying way too hard.

    trying to hard, or the funniest thing ive read tonight?
    Add Neeek to Rail
  30.  
    Originally Posted by Mkind16 View Post


    Size does matter and it doesn't happen to all guys

    Sadly, watching reruns of Friends is the extent of your dating history.
    Add ShortyJacksn to Rail

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