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So, I'm playing poker with some guys last night, and one of them told us a story that had us in stitches. Man, we howled. Thought you idiots might enjoy this.
The guy that told us the story has a brother that is a professor at Wayland Baptist. One of his colleagues has a brother that is not quite right. He calls him while he's teaching a class to say, "Come home quick. I caught a troll." His brother argues with him and tells him that he did not catch a troll and ends the call. He calls back begging for him to come see the troll. He tells him to quit calling because he is in the middle of a class and turns off his phone. He is later interrupted again by the head of the University telling him that he has an urgent phone call from his brother. He explains the situation. They arrange for a coach to cover his class long enough for him to go home and check on his brother. When he arrives home, there is a mop sticking under the door handle to the closet. When he asks about it, the brother says, "I told you I caught a troll." He removes the mop and opens the closet to find a midget standing in the closet. The midget is a Jehovah Witness who knocked on the wrong door. Apparently, he freaked out and started backing up when he saw the midget at the door. When he backed up, the midget took it as his cue to some on in. LOl - so the guy grabs the midget and chunks him into the closet. Upon asking the midget if he's okay, he was cool about it and said he could hear the him calling for help. Figuring that someone would come home soon to let him out of the closet, he said he just decided to use the time for reflection and prayer.
Classic. He swears it is a true story. -
goofy2485
This thread sucks.
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I lold
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wantagolf
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True or not, this is a good story!
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Joined: Jul 07Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 6:42pm) in reply to ranchgirl
i wonder if he got his lucky charms
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BGX is a jehovah witness? lmao!
<TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD vAlign=bottom align=middle>
</TD><TD class=P5_ProfileTitle>About ranchgirl </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE> I have a truck named horse, a horse named diesel, and a dog named dog. That's all you need know about me.
<TABLE border=0 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%"><TBODY><TR><TD class=P5_ProfileArea_Dark vAlign=top>No pictures available ?????
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Joined: May 07Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 6:43pm) in reply to ranchgirl
i've seen it a hundred times
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Joined: Sep 07Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 6:46pm) in reply to ranchgirl
A+, looooooool. my eyes are watering from laughing so hard :)
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Joined: May 06Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 6:58pm) in reply to ranchgirl
sounds believable...I mean it is Texas, someone could easily be that dumb
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Joined: Jul 07Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 7:00pm) in reply to ranchgirl
Meh, worth a read I guess.
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solid read.
pics of OP tho? -
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Joined: Mar 08Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 7:07pm) in reply to ranchgirl
ive heard this story like 5 times but slightly different versions. last time it was the friend who was on LSD thinking he had caught a leprachaun when it was in fact just a kid w/ down syndrome.
urban myth obv, but still pretty funny if based on truth -
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Joined: Feb 06Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 7:09pm) in reply to ranchgirl
Ive only heard this story about 100 times except it normally involved someone tripping acid or shrooms. 0% chance this happened to him.
This is the same kind of story as the one about the kid in "insert city here" that sat on the drain in the swimming pool and got his small intenstine pulled out of his ass and then dies. -
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Joined: Feb 06Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 7:21pm) in reply to ranchgirl
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Return to Board • Subscribe • Jump to Bottom</td><td valign="bottom" width="33%">Page 1 </td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table>
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Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2008
1115 posts
</td><td>Midgets and a Census (Posted on 3/4/10 at 11:12 p.m.)
<hr color="#c0c0c0" noshade="noshade" size="1">So my friends mom has a lady who works for her who has a 20 something year old retarded son. The other day she receives phone call at work from her son who was freaking out, yelling on the phone, claiming that there was a troll in the closet at their home. So, she leaves work and goes home to discover that her son had locked a midget in the closet. Apparently, the midget worked for the census. Her son freaked the frick out and somehow pushed him into a closet and barricaded it. Now that's awesome!
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Joined: Feb 06Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 7:22pm) in reply to ranchgirl
<h1>I caught a troll! I caught me a troll!!!!!</h1> <span id="intelliTxt">My mom called me yesterday and she told me the most bizarre story I've heard in a long time:
My brother works as a real estate agent in Sweden. One of his co-workers works extra as a personal assistant/caretaker to a mentally challenged man in his 30s. Apparently a pretty big guy, but with the mental capacity of about a 7-year old or so. He can do SOME things on his own and is sometimes allowed to go out and walk around by himself etc.
Well, a few days ago this mentally challenged man called my brother's co-worker at work and sounded VERY excited. He proudly exclaimed that he had CAUGHT A TROLL! My brother's co-worker told him nicely but firmly that there ARE no trolls and that he must be mistaken. But he insisted that not only had he caught a troll, but he actually had him locked up in his bathroom as they were speaking. My brother's co-worker became concerned and immediately left work to run over to see what he was talking about. He was very nervous when he got over to the man's house and the big guy eagerly told him to go look for himself. He walked over to the bathroom, opened the door, only to find............a frightened and angry "little person" (aka midget) in there. He had been kidnapped and locked up in there for 4 hours and has decided to press charges! Bizarre or what! </span> -
Posts: 610
Joined: Sep 05Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 7:47pm) in reply to Admiral
Just FYI, this happened a few years ago in Minneapolis.Originally Posted by Admiral
Ive only heard this story about 100 times except it normally involved someone tripping acid or shrooms. 0% chance this happened to him.
This is the same kind of story as the one about the kid in "insert city here" that sat on the drain in the swimming pool and got his small intenstine pulled out of his ass and then dies.
Abigail Taylor is what doctors call a medical miracle. The six-year-old is sitting up, talking and fully aware that she nearly died last Friday in a horrific pool accident at the Minneapolis Golf Club's Kiddie Pool.
Abigail sat on the drain at the bottom of the pool and doctors say her bottom created suction on the drain. They say the strength of the suction from the drain pulled part of her small intestines out of her rear end. Her mom says Abbey somehow pulled herself off the drain and out of the pool before collapsing into the deep end of the regular pool.
"It's a medical miracle that she survived," Abigail's father Scott Taylor said.
The little girl was rushed to Children's Hospital in Minneapolis. Doctors operated for several hours before addressing the family.
"I immediately fell to me knees, my initial reaction was she hadn't survived," Taylor said.
But Abigail did survive, though her life will never be the same.
"She'll basically be on an I.V. That's how she'll receive all of her nutrition based on the fact that her small intestines are gone. She can't process food," Taylor said.
Abigail is scheduled to undergo surgery on Friday to have a port implanted through which she'll be fed.
Taylor is talking to reporters to make sure other parents and pool owners are aware of the dangers lurking at the bottom of pools. Taylor's lawyer says a missing drain cover may be what caused this incomprehensible accident.
The manager of the Minneapolis Golf Club says he wasn't aware of any problems with the pool.
"Whatever happens from this point forward, the fact that she's still with us is amazing. I don't know any other way to say that," Taylor concluded.
Abbey will remain in the hospital for at least a couple of weeks. -
FAIL
Originally Posted by Admiral
Ive only heard this story about 100 times except it normally involved someone tripping acid or shrooms. 0% chance this happened to him.
This is the same kind of story as the one about the kid in "insert city here" that sat on the drain in the swimming pool and got his small intenstine pulled out of his ass and then dies.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,340332,00.html
<H1 class=head _extended="true" itxtvisited="1">Girl Whose Intestines Were Partially Sucked Out by Swimming Pool Drain Dies </H1>
Friday, March 21, 2008
<UL sizcache="0" sizset="98" _extended="true" itxtvisited="1"> <LI class=first sizcache="0" sizset="98" _extended="true" itxtvisited="1">Print </LI> <LI sizcache="0" sizset="99" _extended="true" itxtvisited="1"> <SCRIPT type=text/javascript src="http://w.sharethis.com/widget/?tabs=email%2Cweb&charset=utf-8&services=digg%2Cfacebook%2Cmyspace%2Cdelicio us%2Cstumbleupon%2Ctechnorati%2Cgoogle_bmarks%2Cya hoo_bmarks%2Cyahoo_myweb%2Cwindows_live%2Cfriendfe ed%2Cnewsvine%2Cmixx%2Cfurl%2Cmagnolia%2Creddit&am p;style=rotate&publisher=ccd2a158-6cce-4bbc-afa8-1d2dc62fe84c&headerbg=%23c9cad4&linkfg=%23 0f0fa9&embeds=true" _extended="true"></SCRIPT> <SPAN id=sharethis_0 sizcache="0" sizset="99" _extended="true" itxtvisited="1"><SPAN class=stbuttontext _extended="true" st_page="home">ShareThis</SPAN></SPAN></LI>[/list]
AP
Six-year-old Abigail Taylor
<SPAN id=intelliTXT sizcache="0" sizset="101" _extended="true" itxtvisited="1">
MINNEAPOLIS — The family of a 6-year-old girl whose intestines were partially sucked out by a Minnesota swimming pool drain last year says the child has died.
Family attorney Bob Bennett says Abigail Taylor's parents were with her when she died Thursday evening at a Nebraska hospital.
Abigail was injured on June 29 when she sat on a pool drain and its powerful suction ripped out part of her intestinal tract. She had small bowel, liver and pancreas transplants at the University of Nebraska Medical Center in December but suffered complications.
The child's injury led to federal legislation to make pools safer.
"The world's less better off without Abigail Taylor," Bennett said.
Kara Haworth, spokeswoman for the Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha, confirmed that Abigail had died. She said she could not comment further. She said Abigail's doctors were not available on Friday.
Abigail, of Edina, was injured June 29 when she sat on a wading pool drain at the Minneapolis Golf Club in St. Louis Park and its powerful suction ripped out part of her intestinal tract. She underwent transplant surgery at the Nebraska hospital to receive a new small bowel, liver and pancreas.
<SCRIPT type=text/javascript _extended="true"> var adsonar_placementId="1425888",adsonar_pi d="151757",adsonar_ps="-1",adsonar_zw=224;adsonar_zh=93,adsonar_jv=&q uot;ads.adsonar.com"; qas_writeAd(); </SCRIPT> <IFRAME id=adsonar_serve403772 height=93 marginHeight=0 src="http://ads.adsonar.com/adserving/getAdsFox.jsp?placementId=1425888&pid=151757&a mp;ps=-1&zw=224&zh=93&url=http%3A//www.foxnews.com/story/0%2C2933%2C340332%2C00.html&v=5" frameBorder=0 width=224 name=adsonar_serve403772 marginWidth=0 scrolling=no _extended="true"></IFRAME>
She later suffered setbacks, including a cancerous condition sometimes triggered by organ transplants.
After she was injured, her parents, Scott and Katey Taylor, campaigned for legislation that could help prevent similar accidents. In December, Congress approved legislation to ban the manufacture, sale or distribution of drain covers that don't meet anti-entrapment safety standards.
The legislation, the Virginia Graeme Baker Pool and Spa Safety Act, is named for another victim, the 7-year-old granddaughter of former Secretary of State James Baker. She drowned at a graduation party in 2002, when the suction from a drain pinned her.
Minnesota lawmakers are also considering new pool safety regulations.
<H1 class=story_related_header _extended="true" itxtvisited="1">Related Stories</H1> <UL sizcache="0" sizset="101" _extended="true" itxtvisited="1"> <LI sizcache="0" sizset="101" _extended="true" itxtvisited="1">Girl Seriously Injured in Swimming Pool Mishap as Drain Pump Sucks Out Her Intestines <LI sizcache="0" sizset="102" _extended="true" itxtvisited="1">Girl Injured in Swimming Pool Mishap Undergoes Triple-Organ Transplant </LI>[/list]
Sen. Geoff Michel, who is pushing new pool safety regulations at the state level, called the Taylors "a very amazing family" after he learned of Abigail's death.
"They have held up and been held up for such a tough, tough road. I just feel terrible for them," he said.
Michel, a Republican from Edina, said he was optimistic that the bill would pass. "It was a pretty compelling case already," he said.
He said Scott Taylor had promised his daughter that he would get the law changed.
"He's made the promise and we want to help him fulfill that," Michel said.
Bennett said the Taylors wouldn't be available to comment Friday. In November, the family brought a lawsuit against the golf club and Sta-Rite Industries, the pool equipment manufacturer owned by Pentair of Golden Valley.
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haha damn guess I lost that one.
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tommpat2000
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Joined: Aug 06Mar 14th, 2010 (3/14/2010 8:21pm) in reply to ranchgirl
funny you bring this up. A few years ago we had to do an report on an urban legend, covering everything we could from possible origins to different variations etc etc. I ended up using this as my urban legend, although there were some things slightly different, such as instead of a brother not right in the head, its college kids that are tripping on acid or shrooms, and in replacement of a Jehovah's Witness, it was moreso a little black girl.
I wish I still had the report, and actually Im curious to the point now that I resurrected the computer I used it on to try and find it. but this computer hasnt been turned on in years so who knows if it will even run.
:meh this will have to do
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