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Costco Application

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  1. Bawsten Bawsten is offline

    Fort Myers, FL
    United States

    Posts: 4,967
    Joined: May 07

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 2:41am)

    I just finished one and it is so F'in long OMFG kill me
  2. Chazmental Chazmental is offline Thief

    Henderson, NV
    United States

    Posts: 15,201
    Joined: Sep 05

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 2:45am) in reply to Bawsten

    <SPAN>Mc Donalds Job Application </SPAN>

    <SPAN>This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida...and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! </SPAN>

    <SPAN>NAME: Greg Bulmash </SPAN>

    <SPAN>SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>EDUCATION: Yes. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>SALARY: Less than I'm worth. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>REASON FOR LEAVING: It s#cked. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? </SPAN>

    <SPAN>DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? </SPAN>

    <SPAN>DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" </SPAN>

    <SPAN>HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>SIGN HERE: Aries. </SPAN>
  3. Briguy9999 Briguy9999 is offline

    Cambridge, MA
    United States

    Posts: 681
    Joined: Jun 06

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 2:50am) in reply to Chazmental

    Very funny.
  4. Admiral Admiral is offline

    Boulder, CO
    United States

    Posts: 8,251
    Joined: Feb 06

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 2:52am) in reply to Bawsten

    My application for old chicago took about an hour online, it was way longer than anything else I have ever done. Other than owning poker I cant think of a better job for a college student, so it should be worth it.
  5. Mr. Blonde Mr. Blonde is offline Supreme Moderator

    Georgetown, DE
    United States

    Posts: 26,916
    Joined: Sep 05

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 2:57am) in reply to Admiral

    <span>DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

    best part
    </span>
     
  6. Stopthatquit Stopthatquit is offline

    Bothell, WA
    United States

    Posts: 850
    Joined: Dec 05

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 4:26am) in reply to Bawsten

    Costco is an awesome company to work for. Good luck
  7. Tread Tread is offline

    Vaduz
    Liechtenstein

    Posts: 6,929
    Joined: Jun 05

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 8:08am) in reply to Stopthatquit

    Can you get me a discount on the pommegranate ice cream bars? They to dye fowah
  8. The Crew Buster The Crew Buster is offline

    Fort Worth, TX
    United States

    Posts: 213
    Joined: May 06

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 11:20am) in reply to Tread

    WAR, do you have a costco near by?...sounds like a good company.
    Target Sucks
  9. monteaz monteaz is offline

    Phoenix, AZ
    United States

    Posts: 1,505
    Joined: Sep 06

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 12:03pm) in reply to Stopthatquit

    Its an awesome company to work for. Pays well, good benifits.
  10. TheAlbatross TheAlbatross is offline

    Los Angeles, CA
    United States

    Posts: 6,893
    Joined: Sep 05

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 2:45pm) in reply to Bawsten

    is there still a buried treasure?
  11. tdk tdk is offline

    San Francisco, CA
    United States

    Posts: 2,876
    Joined: Nov 05

    Sep 22nd, 2007 (9/22/2007 2:56pm) in reply to Tread

    costco combo pizzas are yummy.
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