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Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican?

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  1. imhooks imhooks is offline

    Yemen

    Posts: 9,078
    Joined: Jul 05

    Jan 27th, 2006 (1/27/2006 7:05pm)

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
    children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the
    corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
    knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an
    expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?
    _
    <SPAN>Democrat's Answer:</SPAN>
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
    hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
    send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
    me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
    he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
    healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few
    days and try to come to a consensus.
    _
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!
    _
    Southern Republican's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...
    (sounds of reloading).
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...
    Daughter: Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or
    Hollow Points?
    Son: Git-r-Dun, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?
    Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

    The Southern Republican would have to be me. Yeeee Hawwwww.
    Now flame away liberals.
  2. DrewGOP DrewGOP is offline

    Bloomington, IL
    United States

    Posts: 115
    Joined: Sep 05

    Jan 27th, 2006 (1/27/2006 7:09pm) in reply to imhooks

    awesome

    ive been getting that email for a while now

    GOP
  3. imhooks imhooks is offline

    Yemen

    Posts: 9,078
    Joined: Jul 05

    Jan 27th, 2006 (1/27/2006 7:12pm) in reply to DrewGOP

    haha. Yea I just got it from my mom, and thought it was hilarious.

    love the name by the way:)
    Thread Starter
  4. DrewGOP DrewGOP is offline

    Bloomington, IL
    United States

    Posts: 115
    Joined: Sep 05

    Jan 27th, 2006 (1/27/2006 7:15pm) in reply to imhooks

    hey,

    the southern republican is definately a good way to be...

    i was born in Mobile, Alabama,

    too bad im stuck in Illinois now.....college town....not alot of GOPs around

    GOP
  5. JazzyJ33 JazzyJ33 is offline

    Posts: 550
    Joined: Aug 05

    Jan 27th, 2006 (1/27/2006 8:52pm) in reply to DrewGOP

    Quality stuff. :) (though I'm not Southern and actually support gun control to an extent)
  6. imhooks imhooks is offline

    Yemen

    Posts: 9,078
    Joined: Jul 05

    Jan 27th, 2006 (1/27/2006 8:53pm) in reply to JazzyJ33

    lolz
    Thread Starter
  7. JazzyJ33 JazzyJ33 is offline

    Posts: 550
    Joined: Aug 05

    Jan 27th, 2006 (1/27/2006 9:05pm) in reply to imhooks

    Yep, the most prominent voice of conservative reason on this site is actually liberal on the 2nd Amendment! Surprise! That's part of why I call myself "Independent."
  8. JD Roark JD Roark is offline

    Nantes
    France

    Posts: 477
    Joined: Feb 05

    Jan 28th, 2006 (1/28/2006 2:04pm) in reply to imhooks

    Or more realistic:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
    children. Suddenly, an Islamic man comes around the
    corner, locks eyes with you, smiles and nods. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an
    expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    Democrat's answer:
    Smile and nod back

    Republican answer:
    Grab your wife and kids and cross the street so that you don't have to walk by that rag head.

    Southern Republican's Answer:

    Launch a huge wad of Skoal juice onto his shoes and ask "Are you lost boy?"
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