Check out our brand new Local Poker Communities! Get updates and interact with poker players in your area.
Visit the United States Poker Community | Visit the California Poker Community | Read more about the Launch of P5s Local

does moving in together = basically married?

Reply to Thread
  1. GPop21 GPop21 is offline

    North Pole, AK
    United States

    Posts: 4,593
    Joined: May 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 7:58pm)

    i have been pondering this and i know i have seen similar threads on it but I can't find any of them...so that being said...

    Is moving in together basically being married? Have any of you lived with a g/f who you broke up with and/or who you ended up marrying, and how different is it?

    I don't think I want to get married ANY time soon but I think my g/f is going to move in with me, otherwise we will have to do the long distance thing, which will not work.

    I really could use some advice/stories/examples, cause this has been on my mind forever, and I don't know where to stand on the subject.
  2. El Burro El Burro is offline

    Dallas, TX
    United States

    Posts: 8,787
    Joined: Jan 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:00pm) in reply to GPop21

    I would avoid that situation like the plague.
  3. RAIL BARON RAIL BARON is offline

    Vienna, VA
    United States

    Posts: 649
    Joined: Jul 07

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:02pm) in reply to GPop21

    I lived with my wife before we were engaged. With my next wife I'm def waiting until after we get married to move in.

    Edit: Oh, you wanted advice....OK, when you live together for 2+ years before you get married, it takes out all of the fun (or so i heard) of being newlyweds. Shit gets boring THAT much faster.
  4. fetaman fetaman is offline

    Holy See (Vatican City State)

    Posts: 3,259
    Joined: Oct 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:04pm) in reply to El Burro

    ^^^once again buro cuts the hair on top, while applying proper cosmopolitan summaries

    imho, cheaper by the hour, and selection is always a function of ten digits, and well walked fingers finding the right page and fetish
  5. tieful tieful is online now

    Posts: 1,822
    Joined: Jan 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:05pm) in reply to GPop21

    doesnt=married...but it is a gateway drug
  6. Dizzy34 Dizzy34 is offline

    Windsor
    Canada

    Posts: 1,867
    Joined: Jun 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:06pm) in reply to tieful

    ^ agreed
  7. El Burro El Burro is offline

    Dallas, TX
    United States

    Posts: 8,787
    Joined: Jan 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:06pm) in reply to fetaman

    ^ I don't know what that means, but I think I like it.
  8. cmval cmval is offline

    Posts: 11,418
    Joined: Sep 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:07pm) in reply to GPop21

    Well, Ill give you my story. I dated my wife for about two years and we did not live together. We broke up for a few months cause I didnt know if I really wanted a commitment and marriage and she did. So we dated different people for a while and it didnt really work to well for either of us so we decided to get back together.

    In that time apart I realized she was the one for me. So we moved in together and got married about 4 years later and I dont regret the way it worked out. Its been great. We dont have kids so even though we got married it feels pretty much the same as before.

    The one thing I will tell you is that if she moves in with you.....you will find out very soon enough if she is the one for you and you are meant to be together. My advice is if you dont think you want some kind of long term relationship with this girl, dont have her move in.
  9. dippydough dippydough is offline

    Fitchburg, MA
    United States

    Posts: 2,970
    Joined: Mar 05

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:08pm) in reply to El Burro

    i moved in with a girl after i only knew her for like 4-5 months, might have even been less, i forget. things went well for like 2 years, then we broke up, then she moved out, then we got back together afterwards. but i dont think it had anything to do with living together. i thought our time living together was cool and was a good experience. my situation was a little weird because it wasnt like a next step sort of thing to head to marriage, it was more of i was helping her out because she needed to move out of her place and was looking for a place to live and i had a buddy that was looking for roommates. we have now been apart for about 1.5 years and are still good friends.
     
  10. BlufferChic BlufferChic is offline

    WA
    United States

    Posts: 5,705
    Joined: May 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:09pm) in reply to GPop21

    i lived with my husband for several years before we got married

    the only thing that has changed since we got married is my last name

    i personally think it would be hard to marry someone you haven't lived with, as there are many things you learn about another person when you share the same space every single day

    be prepared to have softer, fresher laundry, matching sheets, actual silverware, blue toilet water, complaints about how/where you leave things, and potential snooping

    good luck i hope it all works out
     
  11. Pokfayce Pokfayce is offline

    Folsom, CA
    United States

    Posts: 244
    Joined: May 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:13pm) in reply to GPop21

    dont do it dude.
  12. fetaman fetaman is offline

    Holy See (Vatican City State)

    Posts: 3,259
    Joined: Oct 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:18pm) in reply to El Burro

    Syrup + scissors + Trans AM = still rflmao

    \I..I
  13. AJXTERRA AJXTERRA is offline

    Houston, TX
    United States

    Posts: 2,875
    Joined: Jun 07

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:19pm) in reply to GPop21

    I married my wife after moving in together. Yes, it's basically like being married. But IMO that's not a bad thing. Listen, you might not want to get married any time soon, but the reality is that one day you're going to want to if you're that torn about this question. Living with a woman is like nothing else, you'd have no idea what I mean unless you had done it. It's a challenge like none other and at the same time it's quite rewarding.

    I recommend moving in together to many friends b/c it lets them know what they want before marriage. Getting married before living with my wife would have been a disaster for us. I would have felt trapped and forced into conflict, etc. But moving in together always allowed me to feel like if I really didn't want it I could leave it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it allowed me to work for it w/o the burden of having to make it work.

    Now, if you're saying that you have no desire to marry this girl but you want to know if you should move in together the answer is a resounding NO! Don't do that...you'll be really sorry when you end it one day.
  14. jimmycrackcorn jimmycrackcorn is offline

    Tempe, AZ
    United States

    Posts: 1,467
    Joined: May 07

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:22pm) in reply to Pokfayce

    I say go for it.

    Marriage pretty much equals financial devastation for the bread winner unless you do a prenup. Even without kids.

    At least if things don't work out, you won't be getting fucked over for the next 5, 10, even 20 years!
  15. AJXTERRA AJXTERRA is offline

    Houston, TX
    United States

    Posts: 2,875
    Joined: Jun 07

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:23pm) in reply to BlufferChic

    potential snooping...pshhh...it's a given. It's embedded in their DNA to come out once they live with you...
  16. cmval cmval is offline

    Posts: 11,418
    Joined: Sep 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:27pm) in reply to AJXTERRA

    yeah potential snooping....more like shes is going through all your shit so she can "staighten it up" or "clean out your closet"

    I didnt realize this was all women I thought my wife was the only one that did this
  17. BlufferChic BlufferChic is offline

    WA
    United States

    Posts: 5,705
    Joined: May 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:28pm) in reply to AJXTERRA

    no, not a given, but i will say very highly probable... i am not a snoopy woman... never have been... but i have been at my best friend's house when she had her bf's entire desk drawer out on her lap going through every single thing in it

    the only snooping i have done in all the years we have been together -- i was picking up his pants, (that were left on the floor, instead of 1 of the 3 hampers in the house) and his wallet fell out spilling the contents everywhere -- i probably looked at 2 or 3 little scraps of paper, there was nothing juicy so i put it all back in the wallet, and told him all about it.
     
  18. LDM LDM is offline

    Gallatin, TN
    United States

    Posts: 7,818
    Joined: Feb 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:31pm) in reply to GPop21

    no

    I married my live in G/F. but before the marriage we were definitely still two very different people.

    make sure you have your time and she has hers. try to have some friends that aren't "couple" friends, or both of your friends. have a room that you don't share. Can be the same room, but only one at a time. (bathroom is a really goot choice).

    never sign too long of a lease or contract w/ both names.
  19. Willywoo Willywoo is offline

    Colorado Springs, CO
    United States

    Posts: 17,801
    Joined: Jan 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:35pm) in reply to GPop21

    You should actually discuss with her, the parameters and substance of your relationship, rather than letting the circumstance of living together dictate independent assumptions about the nature of your relationship.

    Some would call this communication. It is a very effective preventative therapy and less costly than extricating yourself from a discombobulated situation.

    Living together means whatever the two of you decide it means. The worst thing is to have two different opinions as to what it means after the boat leaves the dock.

    Good Luck.
  20. AJXTERRA AJXTERRA is offline

    Houston, TX
    United States

    Posts: 2,875
    Joined: Jun 07

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:36pm) in reply to BlufferChic

    Oh my wife tells me about it...and I'm thankful for that b/c now I know to be good b/c there's no way I'm getting away with it unless I put some real effort into it. And that, my friends, is not worth the trouble.
  21. BlufferChic BlufferChic is offline

    WA
    United States

    Posts: 5,705
    Joined: May 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:40pm) in reply to LDM

    i agree with LDM that you each should have a room that is entirely your own space

    but the friends thing... it is actually harder, in my opinion, to agree upon couples friends, rather than your own individual friends... i like all of my hubby's friends, he likes mine, but we go through couples friends like no other - usually because they end up having kids and their focus is understandably different... we have 3 couples that we are close to, and i truly hope they don't split up - because we have seen that too, and the friendship is awkward after
     
  22. LDM LDM is offline

    Gallatin, TN
    United States

    Posts: 7,818
    Joined: Feb 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:55pm) in reply to BlufferChic

    its fine to have friends that are equally held.

    what i meant to say is make sure that you don't share 100% of your friends.

    she needs some girls to have ladies night with and you need some poker buddies that are outside of her circle.
  23. BlufferChic BlufferChic is offline

    WA
    United States

    Posts: 5,705
    Joined: May 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 8:56pm) in reply to LDM

    oh, totally agree...
     
  24. Mini Darb Mini Darb is offline

    New Zealand

    Posts: 4,161
    Joined: Oct 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 9:25pm) in reply to GPop21

    i lived with my highschool gf. for the first 2.5 yrs of university and we were practically married, and a big reason we broke up was because we were unable to advance in the relationship because there was nothing left but marriage.

    if you do decide to live together, make sure you keep important things separate, i.e. try to avoid a 1 bdrm aprt, unless it has an office or den

    keep bank accounts separate, and try to schedule time when you will be home for dinners / dates, so you arent always sitting around waiting for things to happen.

    dont think its the worse thing. i was 17-19 when i did this, and was way to immature for it, but at least i know for the future i can do it..

    best of luck, any more info you can PM me
  25. tdk tdk is offline

    San Francisco, CA
    United States

    Posts: 2,876
    Joined: Nov 05

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 9:34pm) in reply to GPop21

    im currently living with the gf right now. i am a firm believer on not getting married until im well into my later 20's.

    does moving in constitute being married? in one word, NOPE.

    im a pretty easy going home-body. ive learned so much from having her move in its not funny. u get to know her little tendencies and she gets to know urs. she will "snoop," but she wont call it that. its more fun coming home from a party and having hot sex knowing that u get leftovers tomorrow morning. niceeeeeeeeeee.
  26. Mike213 Mike213 is offline

    Medford, MA
    United States

    Posts: 996
    Joined: Aug 06

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 10:02pm) in reply to Mini Darb

    Only good thing about living with your g/f is that you get pussy every night. Or a blowjob at least.
  27. Trent55 Trent55 is offline can i have a title now

    Posts: 8,510
    Joined: Oct 05

    Oct 23rd, 2007 (10/23/2007 10:16pm) in reply to tdk

    GG
Reply to Thread

Similar Threads