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  1. I just took a dump and something sharp was in it. It hurt like hell to pass and then when I wiped I realized I was bleeding pretty bad.

    in before butt boning joke
    Edited By: mattg1983 Oct 19th, 2011 at 06:15 PM
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  2. what to do:

    [ ] post on OT

    [x] consult your physician
    1
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  3. google anal fissure
    Add MUPokerPlayer to Rail
  4.  
    Originally Posted by gbmantis View Post

    what to do:

    [ ] post on OT

    [ ] consult your physician

    [X] email OT confessions

    fyp
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  5. Just to be clear. It didnt cut me internally. It cut me right at the surface. I think a shower and some ointment will do the trick.
    Thread StarterAdd mattg1983 to Rail
  6.  
    Originally Posted by mattg1983 View Post

    Just to be clear. It didnt cut me internally. It cut me right at the surface. I think a shower and some ointment will do the trick.

    then you answered your own fucking question

    /thread, it fucking sucks anyways.

    also, no swearing in thread titles n00b
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  7. Stick to PD
    Add FiGMan to Rail
  8.  
    Originally Posted by mattg1983 View Post

    Just to be clear. It didnt cut me internally. It cut me right at the surface. I think a shower and some ointment will do the trick.

    Are you sure? How would you know?
    Add Z-Fresh to Rail
  9.  
    Originally Posted by smokerock247 View Post

    then you answered your own fucking question

    /thread, it fucking sucks anyways.

    also, no swearing in thread titles n00b

    I didnt ask a question, you suck
    Edited By: mattg1983 Oct 19th, 2011 at 06:24 PM
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  10. next time email otconfessions
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  11.  
    Originally Posted by Z-Fresh View Post

    Are you sure? How would you know?

    with how much anal he takes he would know if something was cut up inside his pooper
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  12. Ahh, the ol razor blade in the apple trick. A little early though, halloween is still a week away.
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  13.  
    Originally Posted by FiGMan View Post

    Stick to PD


    I havent posted in PD in over a year.
    Thread StarterAdd mattg1983 to Rail
  14. sick brag about owning toilet paper.
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  15. a few months ago i took a shit and then hopped in the shower just like any other normal morning before heading down to the store. well when i got in the shower i started to clean myself off and i eventually got to cleaning my butt crack. well there was a long hair there and i was like oh its just a hair from my gf and just pulled it, WELL thats when the worst thing ever happened... not only was the hair not just on my butt, but it was IN my butt. like i had swallowed it somehow and when i shit, i didnt shit it out all the way. so i had too pull it out! you guys thought pulling a long hair out of your mouth when you were eating was gross, well this was probably 507839958834x worse. gross
    Add shallowcal to Rail
  16. do you chew your fingernails? i bet that'd sting comin out.
     
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  17.  
    Originally Posted by shallowcal View Post

    a few months ago i took a shit and then hopped in the shower just like any other normal morning before heading down to the store. well when i got in the shower i started to clean myself off and i eventually got to cleaning my butt crack. well there was a long hair there and i was like oh its just a hair from my gf and just pulled it, WELL thats when the worst thing ever happened... not only was the hair not just on my butt, but it was IN my butt. like i had swallowed it somehow and when i shit, i didnt shit it out all the way. so i had too pull it out! you guys thought pulling a long hair out of your mouth when you were eating was gross, well this was probably 507839958834x worse. gross


    wow, thats the worst thing I have ever heard. Nightmares?

     
    Originally Posted by northkato View Post

    do you chew your fingernails? i bet that'd sting comin out.


    nope

     
    Originally Posted by Jaybone2315 View Post

    O/U 30 minutes before you get a PM from a mod telling you to not use profanity in your thread titles.

    I take the under.


    mod plz change title to POOP
    Thread StarterAdd mattg1983 to Rail
  18.  
    Originally Posted by mattg1983 View Post

    wow, thats the worst thing I have ever heard. Nightmares?

    no but i always check to make sure it doesnt happen again lol
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  19. Add R_U_Nuts to Rail
  20. someone put glass shards in your food & is trying to kill you
    Add kmc28 to Rail
  21. might be hemerroids??
    Add AMARTIN1181 to Rail
  22.  
    Originally Posted by shallowcal View Post

    a few months ago i took a shit and then hopped in the shower just like any other normal morning before heading down to the store. well when i got in the shower i started to clean myself off and i eventually got to cleaning my butt crack. well there was a long hair there and i was like oh its just a hair from my gf and just pulled it, WELL thats when the worst thing ever happened... not only was the hair not just on my butt, but it was IN my butt. like i had swallowed it somehow and when i shit, i didnt shit it out all the way. so i had too pull it out! you guys thought pulling a long hair out of your mouth when you were eating was gross, well this was probably 507839958834x worse. gross

    That wasn't a hair, it was a tapeworm...
     3
    Add Dyzalot to Rail
  23.  
    Originally Posted by MUPokerPlayer View Post

    google anal fissure

    doc has spoken.
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  24. Go check out your ass dildo and make sure the end is not broken off.
    Add midmoguy to Rail
  25. just remember when it starts to itch that means its healing
     
    Add norcalonica to Rail
  26. Add LizardBoy to Rail
  27.  
    Originally Posted by shallowcal View Post

    a few months ago i took a shit and then hopped in the shower just like any other normal morning before heading down to the store. well when i got in the shower i started to clean myself off and i eventually got to cleaning my butt crack. well there was a long hair there and i was like oh its just a hair from my gf and just pulled it, WELL thats when the worst thing ever happened... not only was the hair not just on my butt, but it was IN my butt. like i had swallowed it somehow and when i shit, i didnt shit it out all the way. so i had too pull it out! you guys thought pulling a long hair out of your mouth when you were eating was gross, well this was probably 507839958834x worse. gross

    this has happened to me a few times and I dont mind it, kind of feels good lol
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  28. HPV w/ anal worts or hemorrhoids.
    Add STANGAA to Rail
  29.  
    Originally Posted by smokerock247 View Post

    kind of feels good lol

    Add Glo4m to Rail
  30.  
    Originally Posted by Dyzalot View Post

    That wasn't a hair, it was a tapeworm...

    nah man it was definitely a hair. i inspected it thoroughly just to see exactly wtf was going on
    Add shallowcal to Rail

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