[x]

See Where You Rank in Washington

  1. I just took a dump and something sharp was in it. It hurt like hell to pass and then when I wiped I realized I was bleeding pretty bad.

    in before butt boning joke
    Edited By: mattg1983 Oct 19th, 2011 at 06:15 PM
  2. what to do:

    [ ] post on OT

    [x] consult your physician
    1
  3. google anal fissure
  4.  
    Originally Posted by gbmantis View Post

    what to do:

    [ ] post on OT

    [ ] consult your physician

    [X] email OT confessions

    fyp
  5. Just to be clear. It didnt cut me internally. It cut me right at the surface. I think a shower and some ointment will do the trick.
    Thread Starter
  6.  
    Originally Posted by mattg1983 View Post

    Just to be clear. It didnt cut me internally. It cut me right at the surface. I think a shower and some ointment will do the trick.

    then you answered your own fucking question

    /thread, it fucking sucks anyways.

    also, no swearing in thread titles n00b
  7. Stick to PD
  8.  
    Originally Posted by mattg1983 View Post

    Just to be clear. It didnt cut me internally. It cut me right at the surface. I think a shower and some ointment will do the trick.

    Are you sure? How would you know?
  9.  
    Originally Posted by smokerock247 View Post

    then you answered your own fucking question

    /thread, it fucking sucks anyways.

    also, no swearing in thread titles n00b

    I didnt ask a question, you suck
    Edited By: mattg1983 Oct 19th, 2011 at 06:24 PM
    Thread Starter
  10. next time email otconfessions
  11.  
    Originally Posted by Z-Fresh View Post

    Are you sure? How would you know?

    with how much anal he takes he would know if something was cut up inside his pooper
  12. Ahh, the ol razor blade in the apple trick. A little early though, halloween is still a week away.
  13.  
    Originally Posted by FiGMan View Post

    Stick to PD


    I havent posted in PD in over a year.
    Thread Starter
  14. sick brag about owning toilet paper.
  15. a few months ago i took a shit and then hopped in the shower just like any other normal morning before heading down to the store. well when i got in the shower i started to clean myself off and i eventually got to cleaning my butt crack. well there was a long hair there and i was like oh its just a hair from my gf and just pulled it, WELL thats when the worst thing ever happened... not only was the hair not just on my butt, but it was IN my butt. like i had swallowed it somehow and when i shit, i didnt shit it out all the way. so i had too pull it out! you guys thought pulling a long hair out of your mouth when you were eating was gross, well this was probably 507839958834x worse. gross
  16. do you chew your fingernails? i bet that'd sting comin out.
     
  17.  
    Originally Posted by shallowcal View Post

    a few months ago i took a shit and then hopped in the shower just like any other normal morning before heading down to the store. well when i got in the shower i started to clean myself off and i eventually got to cleaning my butt crack. well there was a long hair there and i was like oh its just a hair from my gf and just pulled it, WELL thats when the worst thing ever happened... not only was the hair not just on my butt, but it was IN my butt. like i had swallowed it somehow and when i shit, i didnt shit it out all the way. so i had too pull it out! you guys thought pulling a long hair out of your mouth when you were eating was gross, well this was probably 507839958834x worse. gross


    wow, thats the worst thing I have ever heard. Nightmares?

     
    Originally Posted by northkato View Post

    do you chew your fingernails? i bet that'd sting comin out.


    nope

     
    Originally Posted by Jaybone2315 View Post

    O/U 30 minutes before you get a PM from a mod telling you to not use profanity in your thread titles.

    I take the under.


    mod plz change title to POOP
    Thread Starter
  18.  
    Originally Posted by mattg1983 View Post

    wow, thats the worst thing I have ever heard. Nightmares?

    no but i always check to make sure it doesnt happen again lol
  19. someone put glass shards in your food & is trying to kill you
  20. might be hemerroids??
  21.  
    Originally Posted by shallowcal View Post

    a few months ago i took a shit and then hopped in the shower just like any other normal morning before heading down to the store. well when i got in the shower i started to clean myself off and i eventually got to cleaning my butt crack. well there was a long hair there and i was like oh its just a hair from my gf and just pulled it, WELL thats when the worst thing ever happened... not only was the hair not just on my butt, but it was IN my butt. like i had swallowed it somehow and when i shit, i didnt shit it out all the way. so i had too pull it out! you guys thought pulling a long hair out of your mouth when you were eating was gross, well this was probably 507839958834x worse. gross

    That wasn't a hair, it was a tapeworm...
     3
  22.  
    Originally Posted by MUPokerPlayer View Post

    google anal fissure

    doc has spoken.
  23. Go check out your ass dildo and make sure the end is not broken off.
  24. just remember when it starts to itch that means its healing
     
  25.  
    Originally Posted by shallowcal View Post

    a few months ago i took a shit and then hopped in the shower just like any other normal morning before heading down to the store. well when i got in the shower i started to clean myself off and i eventually got to cleaning my butt crack. well there was a long hair there and i was like oh its just a hair from my gf and just pulled it, WELL thats when the worst thing ever happened... not only was the hair not just on my butt, but it was IN my butt. like i had swallowed it somehow and when i shit, i didnt shit it out all the way. so i had too pull it out! you guys thought pulling a long hair out of your mouth when you were eating was gross, well this was probably 507839958834x worse. gross

    this has happened to me a few times and I dont mind it, kind of feels good lol
  26. HPV w/ anal worts or hemorrhoids.
  27.  
    Originally Posted by smokerock247 View Post

    kind of feels good lol

  28.  
    Originally Posted by Dyzalot View Post

    That wasn't a hair, it was a tapeworm...

    nah man it was definitely a hair. i inspected it thoroughly just to see exactly wtf was going on

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