Check out our brand new Local Poker Communities! Get updates and interact with poker players in your area.
Visit the United States Poker Community | Visit the California Poker Community | Read more about the Launch of P5s Local

Funny Sayings

Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 31 2 3
  1. jdbunchOSU jdbunchOSU is offline

    Weatherford, OK
    United States

    Posts: 1,103
    Joined: May 07

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 6:59pm)

    Just heard a funny saying here at work and it got me thinking of all the ones I've heard. Wanna see what OT has

    "the plane dropped 1000 feet just like that, my asshole puckered up so tight that you couldn't ram a toothpick up it with a jack hammer"

    "that's hotter then a fresh fucked goat"

    "you look like a monkey trying to hump a football"

    WDOTG?
  2. norcaljeff norcaljeff is offline 2010 OT Thread Kill Leader

    San Francisco, CA
    United States

    Posts: 36,709
    Joined: Sep 07

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:03pm) in reply to jdbunchOSU

    [ ] funny
    [ ] sayings
  3. LakersnYanks LakersnYanks is offline

    Redlands, CA
    United States

    Posts: 2,399
    Joined: Apr 09

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:03pm) in reply to norcaljeff

    Did not laugh at any of those. You fail OP
  4. voorh33s voorh33s is offline

    Orlando, FL
    United States

    Posts: 3,963
    Joined: Jun 08

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:04pm) in reply to LakersnYanks

    wtf is this shit
  5. Glo4m Glo4m is offline Confess to me

    Posts: 14,911
    Joined: Dec 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:04pm) in reply to voorh33s

    "OP is a ******"
  6. ccm ccm is offline

    Vancouver
    Canada

    Posts: 3,629
    Joined: Mar 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:05pm) in reply to Glo4m

  7. jdbunchOSU jdbunchOSU is offline

    Weatherford, OK
    United States

    Posts: 1,103
    Joined: May 07

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:16pm) in reply to ccm

    weird analogies is I guess is what I was going for.
    Thread Starter
  8. SpankyHamm SpankyHamm is online now

    Altamonte Springs, FL
    United States

    Posts: 15,762
    Joined: Sep 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:21pm) in reply to jdbunchOSU

    You can put makeup and a dress on a pig, but I still ain't fucking it.
     
  9. XquiziVex XquiziVex is offline

    French Polynesia

    Posts: 5,746
    Joined: May 07

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:27pm) in reply to SpankyHamm

    I have a co-worker who always says he's busier than a 1 armed paper hanger.

    I always think to myself, wtf is a paper hanger?
  10. Glo4m Glo4m is offline Confess to me

    Posts: 14,911
    Joined: Dec 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:29pm) in reply to XquiziVex

     
    Originally Posted by XquiziVex View Post

    I always think to myself, wtf is a paper hanger?

    exactly what it sounds like fu manchu

  11. XquiziVex XquiziVex is offline

    French Polynesia

    Posts: 5,746
    Joined: May 07

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:35pm) in reply to Glo4m

    Show me a two armed paper hanger, tubbs.

    Oh, and it's fuhe mantchuu, spelltard.
  12. Glo4m Glo4m is offline Confess to me

    Posts: 14,911
    Joined: Dec 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:38pm) in reply to XquiziVex


    ^^Left arm -------------- Right arm^^

    I thought asians were supposed to be smart?

    and we spell fu manchu in AMERICAN around here
    Edited By: Glo4m Aug 16th, 2011 at 07:40 PM
  13. Hecklerz Hecklerz is offline

    Canada

    Posts: 1,316
    Joined: Mar 07

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:41pm) in reply to Glo4m

    From a fellow employee:
    They could count their nuts twice and get a different number
    They couldn't organize a two car parade

    You stink so bad you can knock the stripes off of a skunk
  14. XquiziVex XquiziVex is offline

    French Polynesia

    Posts: 5,746
    Joined: May 07

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:46pm) in reply to Glo4m

     
    Originally Posted by Glo4m View Post

    I thought asians were supposed to be smart?

    and we spell fu manchu in AMERICAN around here

    Where's the one armed paper hanger? btw, how do big guys like you even know about paper hangers?

    Circus tents probably require wrought Iron.
  15. Glo4m Glo4m is offline Confess to me

    Posts: 14,911
    Joined: Dec 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:51pm) in reply to XquiziVex

    thats the joke -- rip a paper hangar in half and it would have a lot of trouble holding up a shirt.

    your mom didnt seem to have trouble with my size, hit that shit so hard her vag turned vertical
  16. Pckt Bullets Pckt Bullets is offline 10K Micro Betting Winner

    Wauconda, IL
    United States

    Posts: 553
    Joined: Oct 05

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 7:58pm) in reply to XquiziVex

     
  17. dtrain dtrain is offline

    Toronto
    Canada

    Posts: 355
    Joined: Oct 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:00pm) in reply to Glo4m

    hey why dont u make like a douche, and GTFO
  18. Unforseen Unforseen is offline

    Posts: 7,624
    Joined: Feb 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:00pm) in reply to dtrain

    This thread is gayer than a rainbow bag full of dicks

    - A Popperhead original
  19. KBruce337 KBruce337 is offline

    Leesville, LA
    United States

    Posts: 15
    Joined: Sep 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:00pm) in reply to Glo4m

    I know all of you are young,but damn. A paper hanger is a person that hangs wallpaper. A one-armed paper hanger wld be very busy
  20. XquiziVex XquiziVex is offline

    French Polynesia

    Posts: 5,746
    Joined: May 07

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:01pm) in reply to Glo4m

    She also has 7 crushed vertebrae and needs 24 hour traction. btw, how is your ass feeling, tubbs?

    She told me every time you tried to pump your ass got whacked by the ceiling fan.

    You owe us for therapy and a new ceiling fan.
  21. Hank H1LL Hank H1LL is offline

    Holy See (Vatican City State)

    Posts: 3,351
    Joined: Dec 08

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:06pm) in reply to XquiziVex

    as;dlfkj
    Edited By: Hank H1LL Aug 16th, 2011 at 08:16 PM
    Reason: fuck
  22. Glo4m Glo4m is offline Confess to me

    Posts: 14,911
    Joined: Dec 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:08pm) in reply to XquiziVex

    i cant help it if the ceilings are like 3 feet high in the geisha house. she did love me long time tho.
  23. TheWacoKidd TheWacoKidd is offline haters gonna hate

    Posts: 37,473
    Joined: Oct 05

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:12pm) in reply to Glo4m

    Must of got that stat straight out of a pot of gold at the end of his faggot rainbow.
     1
  24. dodgingjets dodgingjets is offline

    Oman

    Posts: 3,061
    Joined: Dec 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:15pm) in reply to TheWacoKidd

    You just hold the wings son, I'm fuckin this chicken.
  25. clemsonrich clemsonrich is offline

    Richmond, VA
    United States

    Posts: 1,845
    Joined: Oct 08

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:17pm) in reply to dodgingjets

    Whatd one tampon say to the other tampon?

    -nothin, they were both stuck up bitches.
     
  26. LizardBoy LizardBoy is offline

    Evansville, IN
    United States

    Posts: 4,234
    Joined: Nov 05

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:21pm) in reply to clemsonrich

    What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?


    The mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.







    "He's nuttier than squirrel turds."
    Edited By: LizardBoy Aug 16th, 2011 at 08:22 PM
  27. Glo4m Glo4m is offline Confess to me

    Posts: 14,911
    Joined: Dec 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:25pm) in reply to LizardBoy

    oh now we're telling jokes i guess

    Two condoms are walking down the road and they pass a gay bar. First condom says to the second condom: "Hey, wanna go get shitfaced?"
  28. (oIo) (oIo) is offline

    Troy, MI
    United States

    Posts: 2,105
    Joined: Feb 06

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:28pm) in reply to Glo4m

    I was shaking like a dog shitting razorblades.
  29. hockeywonk hockeywonk is offline

    ND
    United States

    Posts: 1,061
    Joined: Feb 07

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 8:43pm) in reply to (oIo)

    this thread is colder than a witches tities
  30. Popperhead Popperhead is offline

    Toronto
    Canada

    Posts: 13,085
    Joined: Jul 07

    Aug 16th, 2011 (8/16/2011 9:03pm) in reply to hockeywonk

    This thread is gayer than a cum mustache on clay aiken
Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 31 2 3

Similar Threads