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God was busy

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  1. MatCauthon32 MatCauthon32 is offline

    Johns Island, SC
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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 9:44am)

    This was forwarded to me this morning from a friend of mine... pretty funny stuff.

    <SPAN>A <SPAN class=yshortcuts id=lw_1204730836_0>United States Marine</SPAN> was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in <SPAN class=yshortcuts id=lw_1204730836_1>Iraq</SPAN> and <SPAN class=yshortcuts id=lw_1204730836_2>Afghanistan</SPAN> . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. </SPAN> <SPAN> </SPAN>

    <SPAN>One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still</SPAN>

    <SPAN>waiting." </SPAN>

    <SPAN>It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, </SPAN>

    <SPAN>went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. <SPAN class=yshortcuts id=lw_1204730836_3>The Marine</SPAN> went back to his seat and sat there, silently. </SPAN> <SPAN> </SPAN>

    <SPAN>The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. </SPAN>

    <SPAN>The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" </SPAN>

    <SPAN>The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me!"</SPAN>
  2. junsie junsie is offline

    Naperville, IL
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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 9:47am) in reply to MatCauthon32

    this was a headline from the Onion

    God answers dying child's last wish NO!!!!
  3. Scha Scha is offline Creator of SchaArcade & SchaCam

    Trondheim
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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 9:48am) in reply to MatCauthon32

    Yet an example of how religion leads to violence.
  4. AJXTERRA AJXTERRA is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 9:52am) in reply to Scha

    still funny you perv... I keed I keed
  5. Wear Wear is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 9:54am) in reply to Scha

    the teacher asked for it.... well done Marine
  6. xTEDFORRESTx xTEDFORRESTx is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 9:57am) in reply to Wear

    I heard the marine then left the classroom and threw a puppy off the roof.
  7. threebanger threebanger is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 9:59am) in reply to xTEDFORRESTx

    I heard one of the db students named Ted helped the professor up, kissed his boo boos, and then went home and folded the billionth hand.
  8. Wear Wear is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 9:59am) in reply to threebanger

    lol or something along those lines
  9. BillMueller BillMueller is offline OT President

    Farmland, IN
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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 10:54am) in reply to xTEDFORRESTx

    <table bgcolor="#ffffff" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr bgcolor="#eeeedd"><td><table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td valign="top"> </td><td>Re(3): God was busy
    by xTEDFORRESTx on 3/5/2008 09:57 </td><td><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td><nobr> </nobr> </td><td><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td> </td></tr></tbody></table> </td></tr></tbody></table> </td></tr></tbody></table> </td></tr><tr bgcolor="#ffffff"><td bgcolor="#ffffff"></td><td colspan="2"><table celspacing="0" border="0" cellpadding="2"><tbody><tr><td>I heard the marine then left the classroom and threw a puppy off the roof.</td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table>
    I heard the Marine then went and folded pokerstars 1 billionth hand
  10. HarryKnox HarryKnox is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 10:56am) in reply to Wear

    The funny part is how they mention the professor is a member of the ACLU when it doesn't seem to be at all relevant or necessary for the joke's punchline. I guess they were just trying to drive home the point that this professor was one of those godless liberals who hates America.
  11. AJXTERRA AJXTERRA is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 10:57am) in reply to BillMueller

    don't degrade marines like that...
  12. IbizaCF3 IbizaCF3 is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:04am) in reply to BillMueller

    Why not fold it, he's a billionaire, right?
  13. Underdog Underdog is offline MVP of OT (self-proclaimed)

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:06am) in reply to MatCauthon32

    That would be a weird thing for a Marine to do, especially as he then notes that he is sworn to protect the professor's right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot.
  14. threebanger threebanger is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:11am) in reply to Underdog

    Considering Sweetness, do you really think that falls under the category of weird things a Marine might do?
  15. xTEDFORRESTx xTEDFORRESTx is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:12am) in reply to Underdog

    No, didn't you see where the professor was a member of the ACLU (the evil organization that tries to see that the legal system applies the constitution equally to all)???

    It is almost a requirement for every god-fearing freedom loving american to stomp out the ACLU and every liberal scumbag that supports them or else the terrorists win!
  16. BillMueller BillMueller is offline OT President

    Farmland, IN
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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:13am) in reply to IbizaCF3

    <table bgcolor="#ffffff" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr bgcolor="#eeeedd"><td><table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td valign="top"> </td><td>Re(5): God was busy
    by IbizaCF3 on 3/5/2008 11:04 </td><td><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td><nobr> </nobr> </td><td><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td> </td></tr></tbody></table> </td></tr></tbody></table> </td></tr></tbody></table> </td></tr><tr bgcolor="#ffffff"><td bgcolor="#ffffff"></td><td colspan="2"><table celspacing="0" border="0" cellpadding="2"><tbody><tr><td>Why not fold it, he's a billionaire, right?</td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table>
    someone explain this to me, please.
  17. AJXTERRA AJXTERRA is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:14am) in reply to xTEDFORRESTx

    don't fuck with God...he's got a lot of very big friends down here...
  18. Reech Reech is offline around

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:14am) in reply to MatCauthon32

    average funny, but can someone tell me exactly when OT became the depository for average interweb forwards?

  19. The Worm The Worm is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:15am) in reply to xTEDFORRESTx

    THe ACLU once represented NAMBLA
  20. Underdog Underdog is offline MVP of OT (self-proclaimed)

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:15am) in reply to threebanger

    That's a very good point.

    In truth, though, it's weird to me that people would think this story would reflect well on the Marine in the story. I know it's obviously a false story, but where is the honor in a well-trained and athletic Marine knocking some old idiot professor out?
  21. MotorCityCanuck MotorCityCanuck is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:16am) in reply to Reech

    I'm not sure who's stupider. Those that write these, or those who believe them.
  22. tekiller tekiller is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:17am) in reply to The Worm

    north american marlon brando look alikes?
  23. Underdog Underdog is offline MVP of OT (self-proclaimed)

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:20am) in reply to The Worm

    And Rush Limbaugh
  24. AJXTERRA AJXTERRA is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:20am) in reply to MotorCityCanuck

    here's a question for you...did the Marine thus prove that there's a God?
  25. MotorCityCanuck MotorCityCanuck is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:23am) in reply to AJXTERRA

    Well, I'm sitting here waiting for God to knock me on my ass for the past 15 minutes, so I'm gonna say no.
  26. threebanger threebanger is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:29am) in reply to MotorCityCanuck

    That's wussing out if you just sit there without challenging a Marine first.
  27. MotorCityCanuck MotorCityCanuck is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:35am) in reply to threebanger

    You think god would find a way to bring one to me. BRB someone's at the door.
  28. Reech Reech is offline around

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 11:36am) in reply to MotorCityCanuck

    ^^^LOL
  29. MatCauthon32 MatCauthon32 is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 12:10pm) in reply to MatCauthon32

    I just thought it was an amusing little joke... didn't expect all this brou-ha-ha
    Thread Starter
  30. xTEDFORRESTx xTEDFORRESTx is offline

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    Mar 5th, 2008 (3/5/2008 12:19pm) in reply to The Worm

    Probably did. See that is the thing about EQUAL. Everybody gets the same fair representation. They represent Jews. They represent NAZIs. They represent Gays. They represent right wing tax dodging wing nuts. They represent the John Birch Society. They represent the Black Panthers and the KKK.

    It is almost like they believe in "all men created EQUAL". Which is why they are such an evil organization, unamerician, and need to be stopped before the terrorists win.

    I never knew Rush Limbaugh was a member of NAMBLA, maybe that explains why despite his "sacred sanctity of marriage" stance he has been divorced so many times.
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