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Help me avoid an epic failure (banging my ex boss)

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  1. Purple Jesus Purple Jesus is offline

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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:09pm) in reply to Lameass_

     
    Originally Posted by marinersheep View Post

    If you need to ask questions about that exchange of texts, you're totally helpless for the rest of your life.

     
    Originally Posted by Lameass_ View Post

    "swing by and have drink...ex husband has the kids"

    let me help you, this translates DIRECTLY to

    "come over and well hang out and have some sex"

    goddamnit how do you not see that?!

    This.

    It couldn't be more obvious.
  2. Niceguy Niceguy is offline I will find you.

    NV
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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:10pm) in reply to Purple Jesus

    If you're confused I'd be more than happy to fuck your ex-boss tomorrow night.
  3. DonkDon DonkDon is offline

    Moseley, VA
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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:23pm) in reply to Niceguy

    Just get the booze going. Turn the lights off. Put a movie on and snuggle up on the couch. Game over.
  4. MattElsarelli MattElsarelli is offline

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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:26pm) in reply to DonkDon

    What do you need help with? She wrote it out clear as day.
     
  5. Skyroller Skyroller is offline

    Charlotte, NC
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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:30pm) in reply to MattElsarelli

    Text has ;-) face

    No need to read rest.

    Also this might be the worst hidden brag of all time
  6. kellykip kellykip is offline The Chosen One

    New York City, NY
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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:30pm) in reply to Skyroller

    I read OP, but then I saw the photo; don't have any advice, but I'm definitely jerking off to that chick as soon as I get home
  7. Slay Slay is offline

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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:31pm) in reply to kellykip

    yeah the only thing more suggestive than a ;-) face is a X-o face
  8. Luho Luho is offline

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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:37pm) in reply to Slay

    probably gonna need more pics for this one
     
  9. OldGrowth OldGrowth is offline

    Scottsdale, AZ
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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:38pm) in reply to ciz

    She has an extreme case of "Man Hands". Her one hand is completely covering the other girls back.

    But I'd still hit it. Have fun.
  10. Superleggera Superleggera is offline

    Memphis, TN
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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:43pm) in reply to OldGrowth

    You've got this OP, don't make it more complicated than it is.

    The texts say it all. She's horny and wants to get nailed.
  11. tmac456 tmac456 is online now

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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:52pm) in reply to ciz

     
    Originally Posted by cizastro View Post




    Help a brother out.

    ridiculous hidden brag.

    she looks like a fun time
  12. LizardBoy LizardBoy is offline

    Atlanta, GA
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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:55pm) in reply to tmac456

    Is she like 6'2 or something?
  13. killingbird killingbird is offline

    Cary, NC
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    Apr 4th, 2012 (4/4/2012 11:55pm) in reply to LizardBoy

    seems like a slam dunk. well played!
     
  14. BigJohn804 BigJohn804 is offline

    Midlothian, VA
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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:03am) in reply to killingbird

    she's too old to be playing stupid games. she wants to fuck.

    go to condo.

    make her do dirty things.

    profit.
  15. ggwscout ggwscout is offline

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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:04am) in reply to BigJohn804

    If your confidence was shaken before, I hate to see what it is going to look like after she puts those big fuckin hands on your little dick and there isnt any left to put in her mouth.

    Trip report expected Friday.
  16. ciz ciz is offline

    Tanzania, United Republic of

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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:07am) in reply to ggwscout





    Bottom one was from when she had blonde hair, but one of my favs.
    Thread Starter
  17. sean614 sean614 is offline

    Philadelphia, PA
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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:09am) in reply to ciz

    She looks much better in the 2nd set of pics (probably bc her dumbo ears are hidden)...hit that shit multiple times.
  18. Geoff Moore Geoff Moore is offline

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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:10am) in reply to sean614

    2,1
  19. norcaljeff norcaljeff is offline 2010 OT Thread Kill Leader

    San Francisco, CA
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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:11am) in reply to ciz

    What's the worst that happens? You go over and spend a little time and not get laid? Go for it
  20. jtj03 jtj03 is offline

    Mexico

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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:11am) in reply to norcaljeff

    2,1....def hit it that hope she takes it in the pooper
     
  21. standardline standardline is offline

    Milwaukee, WI
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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:20am) in reply to jtj03

    tell her to dye her hair blonde before u meet up as well
  22. rayspizza rayspizza is offline

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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:26am) in reply to standardline

    I am 100% positive this girl wants nothing else but to rebound fuck you and move on. I am also 100% positive that you are going to fuck the entire thing up.

    IKs this the same cat who bitched out on banging his chem teacher (or w/e)? Cause if so I'm calling BS, but at the same time I am giving insane props for knowing exactly what to say to get middle aged, married men's minds full of fuck.
  23. voorh33s voorh33s is offline

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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:40am) in reply to ciz

     
    Originally Posted by cizastro View Post

  24. cmval cmval is offline

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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:46am) in reply to voorh33s

    dude, this is nothing but a fucking brag post

    slam dunk on the pussy

    she wants your cock man
  25. TrafficKing TrafficKing is offline

    Tucson, AZ
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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:55am) in reply to cmval

    She has kind of a manly face but the boobs more than make up for it
  26. Pker4Dummies Pker4Dummies is offline

    Toms River, NJ
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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:56am) in reply to TrafficKing

    Dont you ever disrespect Marisa Tomei like that again asshole.
  27. norcaljeff norcaljeff is offline 2010 OT Thread Kill Leader

    San Francisco, CA
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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:59am) in reply to Pker4Dummies

    So you think those two dont look alike, but ku and that boy...?
  28. Sweetness777 Sweetness777 is online now Prefers Dark Meat

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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 12:59am) in reply to norcaljeff

    "There are two types of people: those that talk the talk and those that walk the walk. People who walk the walk sometimes talk the talk but most times they don't talk at all, 'cause they walkin'. Now, people who talk the talk, when it comes time for them to walk the walk, you know what they do? They talk people like me into walkin' for them. "

    - hustle and flow
  29. ciz ciz is offline

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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 1:00am) in reply to rayspizza

     
    Originally Posted by rayspizza View Post

    I am 100% positive this girl wants nothing else but to rebound fuck you and move on. I am also 100% positive that you are going to fuck the entire thing up.

    IKs this the same cat who bitched out on banging his chem teacher (or w/e)? Cause if so I'm calling BS, but at the same time I am giving insane props for knowing exactly what to say to get middle aged, married men's minds full of fuck.

    I'm not the same guy, though I do remember reading about that on here. This is definitely not a brag post. If I wanted to make a brag post, I would've posted this after I had nailed her. I posted this because it's been a long time since I've been single and I want to make sure I do everything I can not to fuck this up.

    My plan is to let the drinks flow and see where it goes. I'm typically a pussy when it comes to initiating stuff with women, but with a couple of drinks in me I should be looser and if I pick up on some signs of flirting I'm fucking going for it.

    This would do wonders for my confidence.
    Thread Starter
  30. Sweetness777 Sweetness777 is online now Prefers Dark Meat

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    Apr 5th, 2012 (4/5/2012 1:02am) in reply to ciz

    you need to go over buzzed at a min, just so you dont freeze up.. second, dont bring condoms... no bitch likes that pussy shit.. 3rd.. worship her pussy with your tongue.. then if u suck in bed, she still remembers the tongue lashing. fourth, and most importantly.. order her to make you a sandwhich after.. after all, what else are bitches really good for
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