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  1. Anyone know of any happy ending massage parlors in Houston area? Google isn't being nice to me. Thanks!
    Add Camz to Rail
  2. That desperate, eh?

    I've always wondered how you go about approaching the masseuse about the happy ending...how do you handle that whole situation?
    Add L0bstaM0bsta to Rail
  3. A few weeks away from home will do to a person...

    As far as how you handle it, from what i hear you just get a massage and at the end they ask you if you want a "happy ending" ,lol.
    Thread StarterAdd Camz to Rail
  4. Careful, they might rape you.

    <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td><h4> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr valign="middle"><td rowspan="2" align="left" valign="top"> </td><td colspan="2" align="left"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td>Re:Funny 911 Calls </td><td align="right" valign="middle">In reply to </td></tr></tbody></table> </td></tr><tr><td align="left">By bfactor on 04-19-2008 2:25 AM </td><td align="right">Reply Edit Favorites </td></tr></tbody></table> </h4> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr valign="top"><td><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" height="100%" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td>A 911 call I've always wanted to make:

    911 Emergency: Hello, what is your emergency?

    bfactor: I'm being raped!!!!!!!!!!!

    911 Emergency: Okay please remain calm, we are sending police right now.

    bfactor: wait but how do you know where I live?

    911 Emergency: Cuz we can trace your call's location... duh... what are you stuck in the '90s or something?

    bfactor: oh yea oops I forgot. Anyways, I'm BEING RAPED!!!!!!

    911 Emergency: What you mean like RIGHT NOW as you speak? Or have you managed to enclose yourself in a locked room and the predator is just still in your residence?

    bfactor: Nah, I mean like RIGHT NOW as I speak. Ooohhh OOOOHHH oh man OHHHH!!!!!

    911 Emergency: Wow. It really does sound like you are being raped.

    911 Emergency: Does the attacker have a weapon of any sort that you can see?

    bfactor: Yes, she has these amazing tits, they are totally in my face and controlling my brain, I can barely even think, they are all smushed up in my face and oh man I'm just... I just I dunno its like I have no control over myself or anything. She's totally raping me.

    911 Emergency: ...

    911 Emergency: Wait... you are male, correct?

    bfactor: Ohhhh ohhh YESS YESSS!!!!!!!!! I mean yes. Yes, I'm male.

    911 Emergency: And the assailant, she is female?

    bfactor: Oh for DAMN sure!!!!

    911 Emergency: Ummm... do you feel you are in any serious physical danger, is your life threatened?

    bfactor: Yeah, I mean, seriously this bitch is like I can't even describe, she's like seriously the hottest asian chick I've ever seen in my fuckin life. I think I might have a heart attack. And now she's handcuffing me to my bed posts and strangling me really mildly with a necktie, but maybe she might go overboard and accidentally suffocate me or something I dunno, I'm so helpless right now, please help.

    911 Emergency: You realize that prank calling the police like this is a SERIOUS legal offense. Do you understand that criminal charges will be filed aga-

    bfactor: The cops you sent.. they asian?

    911 Emergency: Actually... yes.

    bfactor: Oh SNAPPPP!!!!!!!!

    bfactor: Are they chicks??????

    911 Emergency: No.

    bfactor: Whatever close enough!!!!! Oh man this is gonna be fuckin AWESOME!!!!!!
    911 Emergency: sigh....
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    Add bfactor to Rail
  5. There is some sketchy &quot;spa&quot; off of 1960. A couple actually. 1960 and hardy. sure there are some in the heights
    Add Mr.Treadway to Rail
  6. Just look up &quot;massage&quot; in the phone book. You'll be able to tell which ads are for rub &amp; tugs. Not that I'd know.
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  7. dude, i live here. although ive never gone to one, im pretty sure that if you just get the houston press and open to the last fw pages u will have ur pick of 100s.
    Add phish42O to Rail
  8. The question I have for all you 'experts' is: Can you actually have sex in these places or is it just a handjob?
    Add dolphin13 to Rail
  9. are u going just to get jerked off?..or are u going for the massage..and the hand job is just the &quot;icing&quot; on the cake?...i think it would be +ev just to get a hooker..no?
    Add OneUglyMoFo to Rail
  10. Phish is right...get a Houston press and one of many restaurants and go to the back pages. There are TONS...gl man
    Add AJXTERRA to Rail
  11. Best one is at 290/Mangum next door to SRO sports bar. If you are at 45/1960 area, go to St James (strip club off of I45/Rankin Rd)... ask for private dance upstairs (they have booths) BJ= about $125 and Happy Ending Handy = $50-$75 depending on the day of the week... My ex sister in law worked there and she said it was sick what you could get with $100 or a bullet of blow. Heartbreakers off of 45 south in Dickinson (exit #19) does not have the 1 ft rail rule and their VIP upstairs is nice as $%^#.
    Add trailrated to Rail
  12. Add just-jOHnny to Rail
  13. Dolphin,

    Depends. Some are just handjobs, while others are whatever you want.

    In Pennsylvania, if it's Asian-run, then it's whatever you want, generally. Otherwise, it's a tug.
     
    Add BigGunX to Rail
  14. Solid responses guys, thanks. I'll be here for the next few weeks as well so I'll have to take those recommendations into consideration.
    Thread StarterAdd Camz to Rail
  15. asian massage parlors are def happy endings. just look in the yellow book with the classier pictures in the shadiest neighborhoods
    Add stevem1267 to Rail
  16. here is a good example. read this nice description and tell me if you think it's a whorehouse.

    Apple Spa specializes in relaxation massage, hot rocks sauna, spacious lounge, steam room, wide screen, body rub, dry sauna, steam sauna, and body shampoo.

    Read reviews and find deals for hotels in Providence.
    <table cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td>Location</td><td>1021 Broad Street
    Providence Rhode Island 02905
    </td></tr><tr><td>Phone</td><td>401-941-9901</td></tr><tr><td>Email</td><td>info@applespa.net</td></tr><tr><td>Website</td><td>http://www.applespa.net</td></tr></tbody></table>
    Add stevem1267 to Rail
  17. ^^^ i would say yes because they do not have a real website.
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  18. i'll never understand paying $80 for something you can do just as well on your own.
    Add bdk_2five to Rail
  19. craigslist is full of happy ending massages
    Add str8frush to Rail
  20. Classifieds of www.houstonpress.com

    there are about 50 million asian happy spas in this city. on the SW side (where most of the poker rooms are) there seems like there is one in every strip mall.
    Add NUTZREALHUGE to Rail