Stolen from whoever used to do these, I'm sure I'll see who in similar threads in a min. Whoever it was I'm not as good as them so I invite OT to collaborate with me so post your own.....

When a waitress brings u food or a drink at a poker table, be sure to take as long as possible to pay or tip them while the entire table waits on you, cause it's not like she's gonna wait while u limp in with your fucking 94o.

When you're walking those narrow aisles between slot machines be sure to walk as slowly as possible in the middle of the aisle so no one can get around your turtle ass. And if approaching an intersection be sure to blindly enter it right in from of someone. Oh and if someone says "excuse me" when trying to pass u or w/e be sure to act annoyed and act like u own the damn place.

When playing blackjack please take up to 45-60 seconds each time u have a 16 deciding whether to hit vs a dealer ace with a $5 bet while all the people betting $50+ wait on your paint-sniffing ass

I could put a 1000 replies in this thread..

El burro and BM can both suck a bag of dicks lol

 

Originally Posted by kasey_gcp

Stolen from whoever used to do these, I'm sure I'll see who in similar threads in a min. Whoever it was I'm not as good as them so I invite OT to collaborate with me so post your own.....

When a waitress brings u food or a drink at a poker table, be sure to take as long as possible to pay or tip them while the entire table waits on you, cause it's not like she's gonna wait while u limp in with your fucking 94o.

Nothing tilts me more than being in a huge pot and having that waitress union/$15/hr cunt waiting for her toke and tapping me on the shoulder. Go to ppl who aren't in the pot and work your fucking way around.

When you're walking those narrow aisles between slot machines be sure to walk as slowly as possible in the middle of the aisle so no one can get around your turtle ass. And if approaching an intersection be sure to blindly enter it right in from of someone. Oh and if someone says "excuse me" when trying to pass u or w/e be sure to act annoyed and act like u own the damn place. Very tilting

When playing blackjack please take up to 45-60 seconds each time u have a 16 deciding whether to hit vs a dealer ace with a $5 bet while all the people betting $50+ wait on your paint-sniffing ass

I don't want someone to take this long no matter what but the $ is irrelevant b/c what $5 means to them might be more than what $50 means to you. Just play in a timely manner regardless.

What tilts the ever lovin fuckity fuck shit fuck outta me is the idiot mother fucker who wants to board the elevator before giving me a chance to get off!@@!@ Where the fuck do you think it's going? Do you not realize that it's going to take longer b/c I now have to go around your dumb ass? FUCK, stupid ppl shd be killed

 

Originally Posted by orgnalsooners

I don't want someone to take this long no matter what but the $ is irrelevant b/c what $5 means to them might be more than what $50 means to you. Just play in a timely manner regardless.

What tilts the ever lovin fuckity fuck shit fuck outta me is the idiot mother fucker who wants to board the elevator before giving me a chance to get off!@@!@ Where the fuck do you think it's going? Do you not realize that it's going to take longer b/c I now have to go around your dumb ass? FUCK, stupid ppl shd be killed

People do this shit at my office building. I will normally just stand right in the middle of the doorway and stare at them until they fucking move their asses.

this is all true, I quit playing poker but I still go to MGM Grand in Detroit a lot to eat at Wolfgang's and Michael Mina's and its so sad all the zombies in a trance from the slots and lights, I generally feel far superior to 99% of the people I see there.

 

Originally Posted by LizardBoy

Also, people that bitch about how others play at blackjack. Some people hit 16, others don't. Deal with it. They didn't "take the bust card" or whatnot. If you seriously thought that another player at the table was doing something to affect your luck, you would leave and choose another table. Not sit there and bitch and moan.

Luck?

 

Originally Posted by TUGreenWave

I hate when ppl who know proper strategy for bj will berate ppl who clearly dont. either shut the fuck up or explain why its a poor decision to hit that 14 vs a dealer 15

Listen man, doubling a hard 12 against a 6 might not make sense to you, but to others it does.

 

Originally Posted by littleze

this is all true, I quit playing poker but I still go to MGM Grand in Detroit a lot to eat at Wolfgang's and Michael Mina's and its so sad all the zombies in a trance from the slots and lights, I generally feel far superior to 99% of the people I see there.

ICWUDT?

 

Originally Posted by orgnalsooners

Oh, I forgot about this and maybe afink will tell me whether or not this guy is a douche. I was playing a few hundo on dont pass ( Im a darksider) and rest of tbl collectively had $50 ( and while this shdnt matter in BJ I think it matters in craps b/c when u have the dice, it's 'your table'. The point would come out and I repeatedly asked the fuckstick to quit bringing me the dice with the point on it and he refused. I didnt say bring it out with 7 on it but just anything but the point. I never tipped him and I slowed his game up he pissed me off so much

While he was a douche dealer. You get one and half douche points for A. Actually thinking what I send the dice to you has any bearing on what you're going to roll. I mean really? And your shooting from the Donts? You deserve to lose. Don't players don't shoot. Duh..

When I'm shooting dice and running hot, wait until the stickman is just about to push the dice my way, then place your bets. Take as long as you want. Ruined rhythm never makes me think '7'.

When playing 1-2 NL, with only blind calls ahead of you, stare down anyone who called the $2. Look at your cards. Stare some more. Put your hands behind your head and take a deep breath. Fold. Do this at least three times per orbit.

If there is a line at the sportsbook, and the 12:30 games are just about to kickoff, don't bother making any decisions prior to getting to the window. When you reach the window, spend the next several minutes placing $5 parlays while the rest of us wait behind you.

If I don't know you, and just happen to be sitting next to you at the blackjack table, tell me how big the dealer's boobs are. Loud enough for her to hear it. For several minutes. I like being creepy by association.

I've never seen anyone do this at an actual casino, but at the local cardroom I play at a few times a month there is an older guy who is always reading a newspaper every single time i've ever played with him in the limit omaha game. It tilts the hell out of me and I'm not even entirely sure why. He pays just enough attention that it rarely slows down the action, so thats not it. I think in some weird way I'm insulted by it, like "if this game is soooooo tedious and boring that you can't be bothered to actually pay attention and feel the need to read a newspaper while youre playing, then just gtfo.

For the longest time he was the only one I've ever seen engrossed in reading like that at a poker table. Then a few weeks ago I was in a NLHE tourney at the same cardroom and some lady at my table is reading on a god damn kindle at the table. We're like 6 hours deep in a tournament and this lady is set up at the table like she's at home in her living room curled up by the fire. She's got like 3 drinks in front of her, a blanket over her lap, and a kindle jammed in her face. GTFO with that shit.

 

Originally Posted by SICKTIGHT311

Hitting a fucking hard 18 when the dealer is showing a 7. Fucking blackjack noobs. Yes, I had 20, dealer flips an 8 under the 7 and then hits a 6. Dipshit that hit the hard 18 got a 9. (Just happened about an hour ago)

dlfjaewoigtja;sldgvja 9[oti4ejgrd;kfjga;df

facepalm.jpg

 

Originally Posted by SICKTIGHT311

Hitting a fucking hard 18 when the dealer is showing a 7. Fucking blackjack noobs. Yes, I had 20, dealer flips an 8 under the 7 and then hits a 6. Dipshit that hit the hard 18 got a 9. (Just happened about an hour ago)

dlfjaewoigtja;sldgvja 9[oti4ejgrd;kfjga;df

stop gambling please, you don't get it

 

Originally Posted by orgnalsooners

I don't want someone to take this long no matter what but the $ is irrelevant b/c what $5 means to them might be more than what $50 means to you. Just play in a timely manner regardless.

Was going to say this. My $5 is definitely more important to me than $50 is to a lot of people who are willing to gamble that big on a hand of BJ or w/e game. And I act fast whether it's poker or wherever. Don't play BJ often. Craps or poker for me

I do hate when the craps dealer fucks up my rhythm or somebody trying to place a late bet as I'm rolling and a 7 comes out. I know it's not their fault but sometimes you get in a groove shooting and it feels good, then gets fucked up by somebody

I also blame dealers for bad beats at the poker table, don't they teach you how to cut a f'ing deck at dealer school? When I flop sets and stack up it is due to my great play.