I am the biggest failure of all time...(update #2 pg 10)

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  1. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:42pm)

    Like... I cant even stand myself right now as I am completely disgusted.

    Somehow I manage to have a girl over and she slept in my bed last night and I didnt have sex with her. And I cant blame it on alcohol or anything because I only had like 6 beers.

    This has never happened to me before, and Im not sure what happened. Im sitting here completely baffled with both palms on my forehead.

    Im here at work and I cant do anything but think about how I didnt have sex last night. There is no way I can go home later and show my face to my roomates.

    I think Im going to go play in traffic now.

    *update*

    -double fail.
  2. BillMueller BillMueller is offline OT President

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:47pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    get some viagra
  3. xxACES UPxx xxACES UPxx is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:47pm) in reply to BillMueller

  4. jtslmn720 jtslmn720 is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:48pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

  5. XquiziVex XquiziVex is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:49pm) in reply to BillMueller

    What, were you afraid she would say no?
  6. goofy2485 goofy2485 is offline This thread sucks.

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:49pm) in reply to jtslmn720

    and then u come on herer and fail again by not providing pics.

    <input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden">
  7. SpankyHamm SpankyHamm is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:51pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    Don't worry - it starts to happen to all men when they reach their 40's.
     
  8. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:51pm) in reply to XquiziVex

     
    Originally Posted by XquiziVex View Post

    What, were you afraid she would say no?

    not at all. I seriously cant explain what happened.

    And it wasnt limp dick... i dont have a problem with that. Im so confused.

    Can I just chalk it up to having a really bad night?
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  9. pwklbc pwklbc is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:53pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    You need to be drunk to seal the deal? A girl you know or just picked up? Sober sex with strangers can be awkward.
  10. SILKY JOHNSON SILKY JOHNSON is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:54pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    As long as you didn't paint her toenails, and cuddle, your ok.
  11. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:55pm) in reply to pwklbc

    Na I know her.

    Well a little bit of good news. She just texted me. I think this means she doesnt think Im gay.
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  12. BigJohn804 BigJohn804 is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:57pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    Not if she texted you to see if you wanted to go shopping with her...
  13. BillMueller BillMueller is offline OT President

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:57pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    this is the closest thing to a WAR like post I have seen from someone lately.
  14. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 12:59pm) in reply to BillMueller

    words cant really describe how much I hate myself.

    If I dont redeem my manhood within 48 hrs, im ending it.
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  15. XquiziVex XquiziVex is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:00pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    One of two things here:

    1) You have officially moved into the friend zone never to return.

    Or..

    2) She has serious blue clit and is going to destroy your penix when you finally hit it.
  16. mitman25 mitman25 is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:02pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    Even though you did fail she did text you so you are still in, actually you probably will be in better shape, as now she thinks you are a nice guy lol.
  17. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:03pm) in reply to XquiziVex

    Well im not in the friend zone. I know that for sure.

    I think the problem may have been she was too shy (i guess shy is the right word). Like not shy as in wouldnt talk, but as in, she seems to be the type to never make the first move. That may have been what threw me off. Im not sure.
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  18. kidrockin kidrockin is offline cro magnon

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:07pm) in reply to mitman25

    Lazy Fucker......get it?
     
  19. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:10pm) in reply to mitman25

    How do I play this with my boys?

    They were both there when I took her into my room last night. There is no way I can tell them I didnt have sex with her as I will never in my lifetime live it down.

    Do i just say I hit it and hope that she never hears that I said that?
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  20. shanetrain22 shanetrain22 is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:15pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

     
    Originally Posted by Jaybone2315 View Post

    How do I play this with my boys?

    They were both there when I took her into my room last night. There is no way I can tell them I didnt have sex with her as I will never in my lifetime live it down.

    Do i just say I hit it and hope that she never hears that I said that?

    Way to make the situation 20x more dramatic than it really is.

     1
  21. SouthRaker SouthRaker is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:16pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    Just say you made some moves and she didn't make any back...

    ...you figured she wasn't in the mood and didn't feel like raping her. easy...
  22. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:17pm) in reply to shanetrain22

    lol... you obv dont know my friends. They were already busting my balls before last night cause I had chilled with her like 3 times before and we hadnt fucked yet (no chance to during those times tho).
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  23. Popperhead Popperhead is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:23pm) in reply to SouthRaker

    just say she had a headache from giving too much dome
  24. H@BB@KUK H@BB@KUK is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:31pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    lol oh well on a side note, theres this chick a bunch of just met, her name is Jordan Bone. A fairly decent red head, she gets black out drunk and smokes tons of reefer. I chose to call her jaybone the first night instantly, it stuck. It could be your long lost sister
  25. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:32pm) in reply to H@BB@KUK

    *crosses fingers*

    does she pee the bed?
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  26. bfactor bfactor is offline Server Clogger

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:36pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    Pics?
  27. H@BB@KUK H@BB@KUK is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:37pm) in reply to Jaybone2315




    shes alright but her personality is bad ass. hopefully she pees the bed
  28. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is offline Professional Couch Ruiner

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:45pm) in reply to H@BB@KUK

    So is it the hot one or the other one?
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  29. H@BB@KUK H@BB@KUK is offline

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:47pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

    the only red head obv. i didnt say she was smoking, i just said its funny her name is jbone and gets black out drunk while smoking tons of weed
  30. bfactor bfactor is offline Server Clogger

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    Aug 15th, 2009 (8/15/2009 1:47pm) in reply to H@BB@KUK

    I like the one with the brown hair better. She has nice tits and smooth looking skin. You should fuck her. Her arms are a little thick though. If you go out with her, just remember not to be with her when she hits 30, cuz 100.0% guaranteed she will be a fatass when she's middle aged. The arms tell the story.
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