1. Some of you might remember that I accidentally ejaculated in my jeans at Wal-Mart a few months ago. Well, something similar happened and I wanted to see if I could get some feedback on how to prevent it in the future.

    When the Wal-Mart thing happened, p00pymcp00perton PM'ed me about what he did after a similar incident (ejaculated when his tailor was getting an inseam measurement). He told me that the best way to avoid public boners is to wrap a rubber band around your testicles and snap it repeatedly for 15 minutes before you leave the house. After doing this, you have a window of 3-5 hours that you will not be physically capable of having an erection. Until recently, this approach was working great.

    So, I had plans to go to the movies and a quick lunch with my neighbor and his grandma over the weekend. Since these plans were expected to require at least 4 hours in public, I decided to snap my nuts in a rubber band for 25 minutes. The extra time proved to be a big mistake.

    15 minutes of a rubber band snapping on your gonads will prevent erections, but it turns out that 20+ minutes will actually cause (slightly delayed) erections. I had timed my nad-snapping to end just as my neighbor and his grandma arrived. Everything was going to plan until I felt a boner growing after about five minutes of riding in the backseat of her car.

    I tried to just wait it out and think about dead puppies to make it go down, but that didn't work. Then I got nervous and started squirming around a little bit. My neighbor's grandma asked what was wrong, then turned around and noticed my obvious erection. I tried to hide it under the seatbelt, but the friction and movement caused more problems.

    Then I ejaculated in the backseat of my neighbor's grandma's Prius.

    Well, neighbor's grandma worked at a sperm bank in the 70s and can smell even the slightest hint of semen. She's like a bloodhound. She totally flipped out, pulled the car over, and told me to get out. Once I got out, she started screaming at me and calling me a weirdo for masturbating in the backseat of her Prius. I tried to explain about the rubber bands and Wal-Mart, but she wouldn't listen. After that I had to walk home with semen in my pants. And now none of my neighbors will let me ride in their cars.

    Should I have done something differently? Is there another option (not Icy Hot lol) I can try? This is starting to get kind of embarrassing.
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  2. have you tried intentional private ejaculation? or not hanging around gilfs?
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  3. tuck it in the top of your pants. jizz on your belly. your bellybutton will act as a pool for the semen until you can find a bathroom to clean it out.

    Edited By: XXEDPXX Jun 7th, 2011 at 06:22 AM
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  4. Add Donkey Kong to Rail
  5.  
    Originally Posted by XXEDPXX View Post

    tuck it in the top of your pants. jizz on your belly. your bellybutton will act as a pool for the semen until you can find a bathroom to clean it out.

    That would be a good idea...if I didn't have an 'outie' belly button.
    Thread StarterAdd El Burro to Rail
  6. well then good luck with your hernia
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  8. el burro you clearly need a cock cage...

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  9. Dude...LMAO! Incredible. This cannot be normal I mean, I have never heard of such a thing. I cannot believe that lady smelled it LOL!
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  10. stick that in your ass sssssssssssivart
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  11. you are trying to hard..
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  12.  
    Originally Posted by dangitisuck View Post

    you are trying to hard..

    Sorry. I think ejaculating in public is embarrassing. Please pardon my desire to address it as a problem.

    Jerk.
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  13.  
    Originally Posted by El Burro View Post

    Sorry. I think ejaculating in public is embarrassing. Please pardon my desire to address it as a problem.

    Jerk.

    its all good
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  14. dont listen to him. its people that keep this nasty disease in the closet that do nothing in helping us find a cure. you are a true american and not only a shining light to the mexican or white race. (im not sure what you are) but to the human race. the human race. you're supposed to say it the second time all slow and dramatic as to express the seriousness and nobleness of it.
    Edited By: XXEDPXX Jun 7th, 2011 at 06:39 AM
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  15. I have a friend who has the exact same problem. Luckily for him, he met a guy at a bar who was a psychologist, and the guy explain that the only to solve the problem is to suck on a penis.

    Apparently, it is a subconscious thing that when another man ejaculates in your mouth(no pulling out), you won't ejaculate in your pants.

    My friend was pretty lucky because the psychologist volunteered, and now he goes by the psychologists office every Monday and Wednesday after he drops off his daughter ballet practice.

    Hope this helps!

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  16. Don't switch hands when beating off. This will trick your dick into only shooting when your hand does the dirty work, not the inseam of your jeans.
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  17. who switches hands?
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  18. showoffs
    Edited By: keylight Jun 7th, 2011 at 07:14 AM
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  19. this thread delivers
    1
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  20. go on an tell ya girl claaaaarenstasia about it
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  21. level. nobody is this pathetic.
     
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  22.  
    Originally Posted by Demitrius100 View Post

    level. nobody is this pathetic.

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  23. def trying too hard
     
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  24. honestly i think your play was ok here, you just got unlucky. There are jizzwhiffers out there like your buddies gram (and God bless her for still having her skillz) but they are so rare that you can't plan for it. I say business as usual sir.
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  25. you know what they say:
    jizz your pants once, shame on me.
    jizz your pants twice, seek help
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  26.  
    Originally Posted by Demitrius100 View Post

    level. nobody is this pathetic.

    no shit
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  27. "jizzwhiffer" LOL! Has those two words ever been combined in the history of the world? Is this a level? I am a bit tarded in regards to instanuttin'
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  28. where can i get a pair of these jeans? not your jeans,a new virgin pair?
    Add nastysmell to Rail

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