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I feel like bragging to you guys...

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  1. molahay molahay is offline

    MP
    United States

    Posts: 1,004
    Joined: Feb 06

    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 12:26am) in reply to Jaybone2315

     
    Originally Posted by Jaybone2315 View Post

    Mother fucking cunt fucking shit.

    I was ready to punch a bitch tonight.

    So heres the deal. Titty fuck girl (crazy sister girl) wants to hang out tonight. Before I ever pick her up, she sents me a new nude pic and tells me she shaved for me. Awesome. We go out, get some drinks, and shes all over me. Grabbing my dick, making sex jokes/comments, and even showed me more naked pics from her phone (including a pussy shot from when she was done rubbing one out). Pussy was all types of sloppy wet.

    So she tells me shes ready to go. Perfect. We get back to her place, and she doesnt let me come in. Im visibly pissed off at this point and she knows it. She ends up getting out the car without me knocking her fucking head off, and tells me to text/call her later. Hey... GFY!

    Ive never been more pissed off at a woman in my life. I have literally found the biggest dick tease in the world. Im fucking done.

    akjsdhfkajsbdkajbsdvkjbasdvbkjasbkjvas

    I saw this and went straight to wowswift.com. WTF man. A longtime lurker is awfully disappointed.
  2. shawdeep shawdeep is offline

    Richmond, VA
    United States

    Posts: 363
    Joined: Jul 10

    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 1:55am) in reply to railbot

     
    Originally Posted by railbot View Post

    lets go ahead and post a standard failurebot.

    went to mansion miami sat, night, boss mode on,
    hustle my way past security , door girl, and im in,
    go to the bar order a round of 4 drinks $58 bucks, this is gonna be a not so drunk night
    go to another bar one of my highschool whores is bartending, bink.
    she climbs on the bar gives me a huge hug demands my number and proceeds to start dropping off squads of free drinks every few minutes.
    see a trio of cuties wave them over in a drunken stupor, forget about them, start peeping other hoes, get punched in the back its the hoes i waved over,
    wait for it he begins the failures
    one of the girls is asian so fucking fine, i mean fine, i was like holy fuck yoru hawt, Boss mode is still on,
    i go are you gonna get mad if i grab your ass,
    shes like not under the skirt and dont be a jerk,
    i paw this wonderfully delciious ass like i loved her , she loved it, her girl that was there loved it so much she grabs me and starts dancing with me.
    im making out with her, switch hitting and making out with the china, now there talking 3some,
    im rock solid , remeber the million free drinks well they caught up with me, im drunk now and dont wanna kiss or feel up or finger the other girl i just want the china, my boy loses his camera with all the pics/vids
    i blow the 3some and somehow lose the chicks weeee
    the one was for sure dtf, she had my cock in her mout at the bar (boss mode yo)
    demands i call her cuz shelll come home with me no matter what, lose my phone, weeeeeeeeeee
    get kicked outta the club cuz apparently you cant start feeling up whore bartenders
    lose my friends,
    wake up in my car like wtf happened, my boy tells me the next am, hes at the whore bartenders place.
    fml failz all over that night.

    mega fail you fuck
  3. ccm ccm is offline

    Vancouver
    Canada

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    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 1:59am) in reply to shawdeep

    lurkers bringing the hate itt
  4. clemsonrich clemsonrich is offline

    Richmond, VA
    United States

    Posts: 1,845
    Joined: Oct 08

    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 2:03am) in reply to shawdeep

     
    Originally Posted by shawdeep View Post

    mega fail you fuck

    theres at least one fail in every single line of that story
     
  5. setherson2 setherson2 is offline

    Posts: 868
    Joined: Jun 07

    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 2:05am) in reply to clemsonrich

    Read that whole thing and have no idea what happened, except for boss mode was on yo.
    124 1
  6. AMARTIN1181 AMARTIN1181 is online now

    New Haven, CT
    United States

    Posts: 10,672
    Joined: Nov 08

    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 2:32am) in reply to Avon Barksdale

     
    Originally Posted by Avon Barksdale View Post

    Are you a sociopath in real life, or do you just play one on the Internet?


    Lol this was line of the thread
  7. SICKTIGHT311 SICKTIGHT311 is offline

    Long Beach, CA
    United States

    Posts: 24,818
    Joined: Jul 06

    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 4:50am) in reply to Luho

     
    Originally Posted by Luho View Post

    Please merge with massage parlor thread

    Come on, is this the new thing now. It was funny the first few times people nailed it, but this one doesn't fit/isn't funny.
  8. norcaljeff norcaljeff is offline 2010 OT Thread Kill Leader

    San Francisco, CA
    United States

    Posts: 36,709
    Joined: Sep 07

    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 5:26am) in reply to SICKTIGHT311

    What really happened in the car:

  9. Luho Luho is offline

    Columbia, MO
    United States

    Posts: 5,212
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    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 5:46am) in reply to TheWacoKidd

     
    Originally Posted by TheWacoKidd View Post

    this situation can be resolved with one text...

    "when you gonna let me tap that?"

    I like this. It may be needed to save the thread from failing the title.

    Btw, I got one of these text the other week. I called nasty a slut and never heard back
     
  10. norcaljeff norcaljeff is offline 2010 OT Thread Kill Leader

    San Francisco, CA
    United States

    Posts: 36,709
    Joined: Sep 07

    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 6:24am) in reply to Luho

    Actually, with the nood pics and the cock-teasing this thread reminds me of nasty's standard m.o. When I play a game of hairybelly with a guy Im gonna be expecting a payoff ffs
  11. Jaybone2315 Jaybone2315 is online now Professional Couch Ruiner

    San Diego, CA
    United States

    Posts: 27,303
    Joined: Jul 06

    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 12:23pm) in reply to Luho

     
    Originally Posted by Luho View Post

    I like this. It may be needed to save the thread from failing the title.

    Oh cmon. I may be failing now, but when I made the thread, I clearly wasnt. btw, i havent tried contacting her, and she hasnt tried contacting me. Im gonna wait it out and see what happens.

    On a side note, I was taking a shit yesterday and decided to text the one girl who fucked me and hasnt talked to me since. I just thanked her for being the first girl to use me as a piece of meat and that I appreciate it. Obv no response, but i at least entertained myself while taking a shit... and thats all that matters.
    Edited By: Jaybone2315 Nov 16th, 2011 at 12:23 PM
    Thread Starter
  12. Luho Luho is offline

    Columbia, MO
    United States

    Posts: 5,212
    Joined: Jul 07

    Nov 16th, 2011 (11/16/2011 12:49pm) in reply to Jaybone2315

     
    Originally Posted by Jaybone2315 View Post

    Oh cmon. I may be failing now, but when I made the thread, I clearly wasnt.

    I totally agree. That's pretty much what I was getting at. And lol @ the shit text, that's good stuff

     
    Originally Posted by SICKTIGHT311 View Post

    Come on, is this the new thing now. It was funny the first few times people nailed it, but this one doesn't fit/isn't funny.

    And I was totally aware that this was a stretch when I submitted. Who cares. Nice catch tho, 150 replies later...
     
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