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I just finished teaching 1st graders

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  1. Unforseen Unforseen is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:13am)

    and All I was thinking about was moves to kick all of their asses. Now that I've spend an hour with them, I think I could take at least 20 of them before they take me down.
  2. LeftyMark LeftyMark is offline Boss of Birds

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:19am) in reply to Unforseen

    I've thought the same thing every time I play football with my 6 yo nephew and his little buddies. I think 20 would be a good guess. The trick is to give them some knock out punches early and take some out pretty quick.
  3. ihaterats ihaterats is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:19am) in reply to LeftyMark

    A few good leg sweeps could take like 5 or 6 at once.
  4. Customflip Customflip is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:20am) in reply to ihaterats

    then some elbow drops for sure.
  5. ihaterats ihaterats is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:21am) in reply to Customflip

    OOOh yeah and grab two at once and bonk their heads together
  6. JechtSphere JechtSphere is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:22am) in reply to LeftyMark

    I dunno man, I bet the bastards would bite. Could you imagine 20 of those cock maggots nibbling on your limbs?
  7. jtown1010 jtown1010 is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:22am) in reply to ihaterats

    I just keep thinking of myself as a 5 year old, I was pretty fucking dirty, I would probably have no problem running up to you and biting your leg and grabbing your testicles. 5 year olds can justify the most horrible things in their minds.
  8. Customflip Customflip is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:22am) in reply to ihaterats

    lmao
  9. Customflip Customflip is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:25am) in reply to JechtSphere

    jtown=jechsphere
  10. Unforseen Unforseen is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:29am) in reply to Customflip

    I would run to an open spot tho...in a classroom it seems quite difficult.
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  11. LeftyMark LeftyMark is offline Boss of Birds

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:30am) in reply to jtown1010

    I hope you've outgrown the 'grabbing other guys testicles' part of your life.
  12. JechtSphere JechtSphere is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:33am) in reply to Unforseen

    Chairs and light desks homie.
  13. jtown1010 jtown1010 is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:34am) in reply to LeftyMark

    when you have 3 older bro's who's main initiative in life is to torment you, anything fucking goes.
  14. Unforseen Unforseen is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:40am) in reply to JechtSphere

    No but still dude you can only throw one object that size at a time and you have multiple targets in all directions. Seems very difficult.

    GOD I SO WANNA DO IT THO.
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  15. JechtSphere JechtSphere is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:42am) in reply to Unforseen

    Wow you really did think this out.
  16. jtown1010 jtown1010 is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:44am) in reply to Unforseen

    If I'm training these kids I'm working primarily on manipulation tactics, unless you guys are emotionless cyborgs, after you get done stomping on some poor little girls face, you might stop to reflect on the state of your life, that's when my stronger more effective kids swarm you and ravage you untill you're dead.
  17. ihaterats ihaterats is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:48am) in reply to jtown1010

    Always keep a Crown Royale bag full of ninja throwing stars in your desk. When the kids attack you should be able to get a shit load of them before they reach you
  18. Jokerluelz Jokerluelz is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:53am) in reply to Unforseen

    ~Kung Fu Hustle~ comes to mind Grab one by the feet and spin his A$$ around knocking out everyother one in site.. Drop the one in hand and Give him a fricken donkey Punch for the K.O win and the
    .....FLAWLESS VICTORY .
  19. Unforseen Unforseen is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 10:57am) in reply to Jokerluelz

    Joker, 5 - 7 year old kids are smart. When they see you spinning a kid, one of them would crouch and grad you by the balls.

    GAME OVER.
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  20. lordxixor101 lordxixor101 is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 11:55am) in reply to Unforseen

    If your taking on 20 though, the trick is to hurt one bad enough to cry and to go into the fetal position. Many of the other kids at that point will be terrified and probably start crying too. Now, some will be the heroes and continue attacking, but you should be able to take on 3 of those at a time, and be ok. Biggest thing to watch for is weapons. Not only will kids bite, but throw rocks, sticks, etc. Remember, sticks and stokes break bones, which won't be good for you.

    Possibly also work on gettting a scary look on your face. Not sure how much this will help on 5 year olds, but I can get this look on my face that will incapacitate my 2 year old nephew. He'll say stop it, but if you don't, he'll start crying and barely be able to move. It's quite funny when he's being bad, it's actually more effective to use that to stop him from doing bad things than spanking or time outs.
  21. jtown1010 jtown1010 is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 12:00pm) in reply to lordxixor101

    See this is where you fuck-squares are not being realistic. The 5 year old mind is a lot less likely to feel any empathy towards a crying kid in the fetal position than you are. I maintain that unless you are an emotionless human being after you have savagely beaten a 5 year old or two some guilt will kick in. All these little fuckers need is that one slight opening, and your ass is theirs.
  22. ihaterats ihaterats is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 12:09pm) in reply to jtown1010

    They are very adept at smelling weakness. NH jtown
  23. jtown1010 jtown1010 is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 12:12pm) in reply to ihaterats

    I'm sending a gang of 5 year olds after you ess, you sir, are officially fucked.
  24. JechtSphere JechtSphere is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 12:12pm) in reply to Unforseen

    Fuck all this noise, pick up the smallest one and start swinging him/her at the group.
  25. ihaterats ihaterats is offline

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    May 9th, 2007 (5/9/2007 12:15pm) in reply to jtown1010

    *packing my overnight back to flee town*
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