<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aJuaZKBABO0&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aJuaZKBABO0&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" mce_src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aJuaZKBABO0&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></object>

<h4> <table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr valign="middle"><td rowspan="2" valign="top" align="left"> </td><td colspan="2" align="left">Eyelash in EYE + a jester story <input name="ctl00$ctl00$ctl00$bcr$bcr$bcr$ctl01$P5_Filte rToggleButton1$ctl00$ctl04" id="ctl00_ctl00_ctl00_bcr_bcr_bcr_ctl01_P5_FilterT oggleButton1_ctl00_ctl04" value="0" type="hidden"> <input name="ctl00$ctl00$ctl00$bcr$bcr$bcr$ctl01$Favorite ToggleButton1$ctl00$ctl04" id="ctl00_ctl00_ctl00_bcr_bcr_bcr_ctl01_FavoriteTo ggleButton1_ctl00_ctl04" value="0" type="hidden"> </td></tr><tr><td align="left">By jesterwords on 06-12-2008 8:08 AM </td></tr></tbody></table> </h4> <table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr valign="top"><td><table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" height="100%"><tbody><tr><td>Holy fuck, I've had an eyelash stuck in my eye for the past 1/2, it won't fucking come out. Tried an eye wash, splashing water, pulling upper lid over lower lid... nothing.

Its stuck up inside my upper eyelid.. and its scratching the fuck out of my eye ball, my eye won't stop tearing.

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Only time I had something worse happen was when I was a teenager and I used to wear contacts all the time b/c I didn't think glasses were sexy back then... now I'm too lazy to deal with that garbage and I fucked up my eyes wearing my contacts too long when I shouldn't have.

Anyway, I'm at this party at my buddy L. Solomini's house (name changed) and this girl was hitting on me all night, it was pretty obvious what was going to happen, so I really wasn't putting much work into the situation. Just sorta hanging out with her and whatever while we got drunk.

Well, we end up upstairs in L.'s brothers room (who was off at college) and I'm going down on her. I was drunk, and honestly, I was following the alphabet technique b/c its easy to remember when you are drunk... and I was using two fingers on her whilst mumbling the alphabet inaudibly into her crotch.

She reaches down, I guess it felt good, shit I didn't really care to be honest... I was just being nice. She pokes me in the eye while trying to grab the back of my head. When her finger hit my eye it nicked the contact lens and pushed it up inside my eye lid... rolling it up in the process.

I started screaming (note, I still have my fingers from my left hand in her as my right hand flew to my eye ball where she scratched my cornea and fucked up my contact lens). So, I'm screaming... and she starts screaming, she's cumming... FUCK YOU BITCH, YOU JUST FUCKED UP MY EYEBALL...

Confusion hits her as I fall to the floor, removing my fingers from her snatch, and start rolling around in pain on the floor, bare ass naked... with snatch finger.

She realizes what has happened and starts to try to console me. We get a mirror and I calm down enough so we look for the thing, its literally rolled up inside my eye lid all the way at the top of my eye. I'm thinking I'm going to need surgery... and start picturing Marty Feldman as the guy there to assist Dr. Frankenstein as they butcher my face.

After a bit I've come to the conclusion that I can live with the pain for a bit b/c there was no way we were driving anywhere and I hoped that if I calmed down it would somehow work its way down.

I ask her to start blowing me b/c I figure... well, I've earned it dammit.

I sit down in one of the big bean bag chairs and she kneels on the floor in front of me and starts going to work... I chime in every few minutes with some words of encouragement...

That's it baby...
Get it...
Take the whole fucking thing you know you want it down your fucking throat...

You know, the things a nice girl wants to hear when she's got your cock in her mouth.

So I lie my head back in the bean bag chair and I start focusing on working the contact down my eyelid from the outside with my nails. I'm pinching the eyelid and pushing the contact down my eye as she is down there working me.

I had not, to that point in my life, had a finger in my asshole during a blowjob... nor was I expecting one as I was fucking around with my eye. She had been doing a good job and I was close to cumming a few times, even though I was fucking with my eye the whole time.

Well, as I said, I was working the contact down my eyelid and it was pretty close to where I thought I could get it out. Well just about that point she decides to poke her finger into my nether region. Well, thankfully she had lubed with with something (I'm figuring her own juices... but I really can't be sure, I know it wasn't dry though) and stuffed it up my ass.

The surprise of the finger shot my eyes open and popped out my contact into midair... when her finger hit my young prostate I shot my load immediately... which I don't think she expected.

I her her right in the face... and directly in the eye... causing her to freak out and we then had to clean her eye out.

Needless to say, I didn't find my contact on the floor and I had to drive home the next day with one eye closed b/c I only had one contact lens... but overall, it was worth losing the lens in the long run.
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Oh, and my fucking eyeball hurts like hell right now.</td></tr></tbody></table> </td></tr></tbody></table>

I'm going to bed in about 15 minutes.

Everytime I see your name I think of the Aladdin super nintendo game. Easiest last boss eveeer.

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Ipooponyou, N little dog ......he's such a douchebag but tells dirty jokes better than anyone.

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Originally Posted by LVpokerdealer

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HaHAaaahaaa

dont know how to do pictures, but this link should sum everything up

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/...pork-her-russ/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBcxw...eature=related

demetri martin
simply the best comedian

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Holy shit, I'm crying

sorry, don't know how to embed, I guarantee at least a chuckle out of this tho.

http://twins.fandome.com/video/11202...ng-Stance/?q=k

edit: and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fRBfnuDPHw

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DragonChased (Calhoun) these dont get old