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intervention

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  1. cdmalgee cdmalgee is offline

    Lynchburg, VA
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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 7:16am)

    I don't know if I'm asking the right or the wrong crowd at quarter after 2 AM, but has anyone conducted/participated/or been involved in an intervention before? I have a friend that's on the fast track to fucking up his life, and we're sitting him down tomorrow. Has anyone seen it been helpful? wish they'd gone another route, etc?
  2. Dyzalot Dyzalot is offline

    Candia, NH
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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 7:27am) in reply to cdmalgee

    I'd be careful, Can certainly alienate the interventionee if he/she isn't ready to change.
     3
  3. xxACES UPxx xxACES UPxx is offline

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 7:38am) in reply to Dyzalot

    nope.

    depends on what your friend is on.

    my instinct says pills
  4. cdmalgee cdmalgee is offline

    Lynchburg, VA
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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:00am) in reply to Dyzalot

     
    Originally Posted by Dyzalot View Post

    I'd be careful, Can certainly alienate the interventionee if he/she isn't ready to change.

    This is exactly what I was talking about. He needs to change, but he's not ready to as of yet. I don't know what the adverse consequences are if he feels like he's being ganged up on by friends.
    Thread Starter
  5. Jims14 Jims14 is offline

    Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:03am) in reply to cdmalgee

    PM tsxxx??
  6. Sandman_Good Sandman_Good is offline

    Salt Lake City, UT
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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:04am) in reply to cdmalgee

    13.5 months sober.

    If you love your friend...go through with it..

    but it will ultimately be up to him to be WANT to get sober.

    Good luck.
  7. AnonymousX AnonymousX is offline

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:04am) in reply to Jims14

     
    Originally Posted by Jims14 View Post

    PM tsxxx??


    What does this mean???
  8. cdmalgee cdmalgee is offline

    Lynchburg, VA
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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:05am) in reply to xxACES UPxx

     
    Originally Posted by xxACES UPxx View Post

    nope.

    depends on what your friend is on.

    my instinct says pills

    no, booze and some anger issues are the real problem. Some weed and powder, too - but the constant drinking and hiding it from his wife are where the real issues lie. He's been hiding so much from his wife (no sexual infidelity) that he's living two different persona, and he put his hands on his wife in anger tonight and she told him to leave. It makes you want to punch him in the forehead and ask what the fuck he's doing.
    Thread Starter
  9. hoops886 hoops886 is offline

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:07am) in reply to AnonymousX

     
    Originally Posted by tsxxx04 View Post

    What does this mean???

    Come on. You know.
    Edited By: hoops886 Sep 18th, 2011 at 08:07 AM
  10. cdmalgee cdmalgee is offline

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:08am) in reply to Sandman_Good

     
    Originally Posted by Sandman_Good View Post

    13.5 months sober.

    If you love your friend...go through with it..

    but it will ultimately be up to him to be WANT to get sober.

    Good luck.

    Thanks, S_G. Any tips? I mean, we're not the most sober group of friends. Our bourbon habits keep Kentucky's economy afloat, but he's the only one that's let it play a negative role in his life.
    Thread Starter
  11. Dyzalot Dyzalot is offline

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:08am) in reply to AnonymousX

     
    Originally Posted by tsxxx04 View Post

    What does this mean???

    WTF! You spam searching your user name? Haven't seen you post all day and then the first time I see you mentioned in a thread, Bam!, there you are responding! ;)
     3
  12. Niceguy Niceguy is offline I will find you.

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:13am) in reply to AnonymousX

     
    Originally Posted by tsxxx04 View Post

    What does this mean???

    Pornstars have a proclivity for substance abuse.
  13. cdmalgee cdmalgee is offline

    Lynchburg, VA
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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:22am) in reply to Niceguy

    when it comes to one-liners, Niceguy might be up there with ShortyJcksn, and MBQ. (on pure numbers, ncj compares through sheer volume).
    Edited By: cdmalgee Sep 18th, 2011 at 08:23 AM
    Thread Starter
  14. Sandman_Good Sandman_Good is offline

    Salt Lake City, UT
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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:22am) in reply to cdmalgee

     
    Originally Posted by cdmalgee View Post

    Thanks, S_G. Any tips? I mean, we're not the most sober group of friends. Our bourbon habits keep Kentucky's economy afloat, but he's the only one that's let it play a negative role in his life.

    I would love to give this the respectful answer it deserves in detail. But its very late for me and heading in. But..please PM me with a little more info.

    One quick thing I will say is this. If he wants to stop drinking...one thing he will have to do is form new habits and make new friends if the ones he has are drinkers. Its a huge sacrifice you make for yourself (and family).

    Could you stop drinking around him?

    gn guys..talk more tomorrow.
  15. AnonymousX AnonymousX is offline

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 8:46am) in reply to Dyzalot

     
    Originally Posted by Dyzalot View Post

    WTF! You spam searching your user name? Haven't seen you post all day and then the first time I see you mentioned in a thread, Bam!, there you are responding! ;)


    I've never searched my name tbh...was nothing really to post when I was on earlier and I opened that thread soon after I got home and saw that.

     
    Originally Posted by Niceguy View Post

    Pornstars have a proclivity for substance abuse.

    yea def no abuse issues here.
  16. Prestonluv Prestonluv is offline Hi. I'm awesome.

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 9:24am) in reply to cdmalgee

     
    Originally Posted by Dyzalot View Post

    I'd be careful, Can certainly alienate the interventionee if he/she isn't ready to change.

    The person probably feels alienated already. If others around him feel that an intervention might be required than this person has most likely been pushing people away for years with their actions.

     
    Originally Posted by cdmalgee View Post

    Thanks, S_G. Any tips? I mean, we're not the most sober group of friends. Our bourbon habits keep Kentucky's economy afloat, but he's the only one that's let it play a negative role in his life.

    see above and dont worry about the alienation part. Do what you think its best. Remember...interventions are important for both parties. People around him need to state their worries instead of keeping them inside.

    Good luck.
  17. SoyCaudillo SoyCaudillo is offline

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 11:28am) in reply to Prestonluv

    im going through the same thing myself, but unlike you its my own brother..... he is into drugs & has anger issues. I really dont know how to deal/approch it without him getting all defensive about it. let me know how u deal with it & let me know please :) Thanks

    P.S. Good luck :)
  18. sponge1430 sponge1430 is offline

    Bethesda, MD
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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 2:59pm) in reply to SoyCaudillo

    Of course they are going to get defensive. That's the nature of the intervention.

    It takes years and years to change the habits that have been already formed and that is only in the case that they want to change. It is not easy and if you are committed to the friendship, you are going to have to change some of your habits around him.

    The best way to help a person with a problem is to remove the problem from the person. New, good, clean habits do not form overnite.

    Meetings are a good place to start, although I am not an advocate of the "preaching" that goes on at some. It does work for some but you will have to find the right mix for what he is dealing with, especially mentally and emotionally. Fake it til you make it. There are plenty of support groups for family and friends. For some people, this is not a weakness but an addiction and you are not weak if you need help with the addiction and its processes.

    As far as the intervention itself, have the group stay focused and on point. Don't accuse but state the facts and what the issues are. Be honest and compassionate. It will probably not go well but you need to expect that. The real sobriety begins the next time you go out to dinner or to drinks or to a bbq.
  19. clwhat clwhat is offline

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    Sep 18th, 2011 (9/18/2011 5:18pm) in reply to sponge1430

    id do it. i lost my best friend a few years ago to drugs. we never did an intervention or anything. i tried to talk to him about it a few times but he wasnt hearing it. i wish i could go back and drop dime on him so he would get locked up and still be alive today. rip forrest (aka 40 cent lol)
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