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  1. poker4jab poker4jab is offline

    San Francisco, CA
    United States

    Posts: 820
    Joined: Mar 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:38pm)

    So this guy comes home from golfing and his wife greets him at the door and he straight smacks her to the floor. She gets up and yells "What the hell was that for?!"

    "Ehh I been hitting everything fat today"
  2. AFink93 AFink93 is offline

    Norwich, CT
    United States

    Posts: 14,380
    Joined: Mar 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:39pm) in reply to poker4jab

    A skeleton goes into a bar. And says. Can I have a beer.........And a mop..
  3. ChocoThunder ChocoThunder is offline

    Lincoln, IL
    United States

    Posts: 13,927
    Joined: Feb 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:39pm) in reply to poker4jab

    Good thing you didn't title the thread "Funny Jokes"
  4. Mr. Blonde Mr. Blonde is offline Supreme Moderator

    Georgetown, DE
    United States

    Posts: 26,918
    Joined: Sep 05

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:40pm) in reply to ChocoThunder

    2 guys walked into a bar....it must have hurt
     
  5. hldngaflush hldngaflush is offline UT Homer

    Nashville, TN
    United States

    Posts: 4,805
    Joined: Mar 07

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:40pm) in reply to ChocoThunder

    lol

    I'm not laughing with you. I'm laughing at you.

    Eye Hart Kentirgartin
  6. Magnet Steve Magnet Steve is offline

    Boston, MA
    United States

    Posts: 9,391
    Joined: Jan 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:45pm) in reply to poker4jab

    A midget, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
  7. Thatislife Thatislife is offline

    Posts: 4,887
    Joined: Oct 05

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:48pm) in reply to poker4jab

    Guy goes to the doctor for a checkup
    Doctor says "looks like we have bad news"
    Guy say "whats the problem?"
    Doctor says "turns out you have cancer and alzheimer's"
    Guy says "well atleast I don't have cancer!"
  8. hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl is offline

    Albuquerque, NM
    United States

    Posts: 6,177
    Joined: Feb 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:49pm) in reply to poker4jab

    what's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

    anyone can roast beef.

    lololllllollll
    god, i love stupid jokes sooooo much. i'm gonna have to find my thread on this from a few months back.
  9. Thatislife Thatislife is offline

    Posts: 4,887
    Joined: Oct 05

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:52pm) in reply to poker4jab

    What do you call a women with 1 leg?
    Ilene
    What if she is Asian?
    Irene
  10. hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl is offline

    Albuquerque, NM
    United States

    Posts: 6,177
    Joined: Feb 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:53pm) in reply to hyacinthgirl

    http://www.pocketfives.com/5BFFB5ED-...D7BD9632F.aspx
  11. ChocoThunder ChocoThunder is offline

    Lincoln, IL
    United States

    Posts: 13,927
    Joined: Feb 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:53pm) in reply to Thatislife

    guess he forgot how to spell cancer too
  12. poker4jab poker4jab is offline

    San Francisco, CA
    United States

    Posts: 820
    Joined: Mar 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:56pm) in reply to Thatislife

    ^LOL

    A guy is at the doctor's and the doctor says "I'm sorry I have some bad news, you only have 10 to live."

    The guy eagerly asks "10 what?!"

    And the doctor says

    "9..."
    Thread Starter
  13. LeftyMark LeftyMark is offline Boss of Birds

    MA
    United States

    Posts: 22,782
    Joined: Jan 07

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:57pm) in reply to ChocoThunder

    WTF is caner?
  14. LeftyMark LeftyMark is offline Boss of Birds

    MA
    United States

    Posts: 22,782
    Joined: Jan 07

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 5:58pm) in reply to poker4jab

    What do you tell a one legged hitch hiker?

    Hop in.
  15. Mr. Blonde Mr. Blonde is offline Supreme Moderator

    Georgetown, DE
    United States

    Posts: 26,918
    Joined: Sep 05

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:03pm) in reply to LeftyMark

    Old couple was sitting on the couch watching TV, when suddenly the old lady said "Lets go upstairs and fuck!"

    The old man said "I dont know if I can do both"
     
  16. dank773 dank773 is offline

    Chicago, IL
    United States

    Posts: 2,432
    Joined: Jul 05

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:07pm) in reply to Mr. Blonde

    I saw a pirate with a steering wheel in his pants.
    I said, "Hey pirate, what's up with the steering wheel?'
    Pirate said, "Arghhh, It's driving me nuts"
  17. Stynsty71 Stynsty71 is offline

    Dalton, MN
    United States

    Posts: 4,422
    Joined: Nov 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:08pm) in reply to Mr. Blonde

    or 2 guys walk into a bar............third one ducks.
  18. kmil420 kmil420 is offline

    Los Altos, CA
    United States

    Posts: 1,858
    Joined: Nov 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:10pm) in reply to dank773

    what do you call a parapalegic that water skies? Skip

    What do you call a quadapalegic that swims? Bob

    What do you call a quadrapalegic laying on your door step? Matt

    What do you call a parapalegic trying to get out of a pile of leaves? Russel
  19. Stynsty71 Stynsty71 is offline

    Dalton, MN
    United States

    Posts: 4,422
    Joined: Nov 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:11pm) in reply to kmil420

    How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Want to go for a bike ride?
  20. Thatislife Thatislife is offline

    Posts: 4,887
    Joined: Oct 05

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:12pm) in reply to kmil420

    what do you call a guy with no legs?
    Neil
  21. kmil420 kmil420 is offline

    Los Altos, CA
    United States

    Posts: 1,858
    Joined: Nov 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:15pm) in reply to Thatislife

    whats the difference between ACNE and a Catholic Priest?

    <span><span>----------></span>At least ACNE waits until your 13 before it cums on your face.<span><----------------</span></span>
  22. UCBananaboy UCBananaboy is offline

    Posts: 3,947
    Joined: Jan 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:17pm) in reply to kmil420

    Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. The Judge asks Mickey

    "So you want to divorce Minnie because she's crazy?"

    Mickey says

    "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy"

    Old, I know, but gets me all the time
  23. El Burro El Burro is offline

    Dallas, TX
    United States

    Posts: 8,790
    Joined: Jan 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:18pm) in reply to kmil420

    What did the vampire say to the teacher?

    See you next period.
  24. oOMasterShakeOo oOMasterShakeOo is offline

    Posts: 67
    Joined: Jul 07

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:27pm) in reply to poker4jab

    Why do aboriginals have white palms?
    Actually thats probably a little racist. nvmnd
  25. Stynsty71 Stynsty71 is offline

    Dalton, MN
    United States

    Posts: 4,422
    Joined: Nov 06

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:34pm) in reply to oOMasterShakeOo

    Why cant Helen Keller have babies? She's dead

    How did she burn the left side of her face? Answering the iron

    How about the right side of her face? They called back

    What did Geronomo say when his dog jumped off a cliff? Dog gone

    What did he yell when he jumped off a cliff? Meeeeeeeeeeeee
  26. LeftyMark LeftyMark is offline Boss of Birds

    MA
    United States

    Posts: 22,782
    Joined: Jan 07

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:35pm) in reply to oOMasterShakeOo

    What do the call an abortion in Prauge?

    A bounced Czech.
  27. XquiziVex XquiziVex is offline

    French Polynesia

    Posts: 5,746
    Joined: May 07

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 6:42pm) in reply to poker4jab

    What did one condom say to the other before going into the gay bar?

    Lets go in and get shit faced!!!!
  28. PourTheCoal PourTheCoal is offline

    Antarctica

    Posts: 289
    Joined: Mar 07

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 7:10pm) in reply to poker4jab

    What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

    How do you get 100,000 dead babies in a VW Beetle? A blender
    How do you get them out? Nachos

    What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.

    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin', she done been told twice, yeeehawwww.
  29. dideyewin dideyewin is offline

    Wichita, KS
    United States

    Posts: 83
    Joined: Aug 05

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 7:17pm) in reply to poker4jab

    What is the difference between a battery and a pussy?

    Sooner or later your tongue will touch one of them.
  30. LeftyMark LeftyMark is offline Boss of Birds

    MA
    United States

    Posts: 22,782
    Joined: Jan 07

    Jul 20th, 2007 (7/20/2007 7:18pm) in reply to dideyewin

    I like how people take semi-funny jokes and tell them bad.
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