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See Where You Rank in Virginia

  1. Has anyone ever had this happen to them? I went to a Wal-mart the other day (April 1st to be exact). I was shopping for some of those Teddy Grahams and Powerade when I suddenly felt the after-effects of the local Mexican restaurant - Maria's, if I recall correctly. If you were wondering, I had a couple of enchiladas and some refried beans, so haters...hate on!

    So at any rate, I normally am petrified...PETRIFIED...of using public bathrooms to take a dump. Like...I'll still take a piss from time to time when I REALLY have to go, because I'm scared of ruining my body if I hold it in, but I will not shit on a toilet that some random uses on the toilet. My ass is too good for that. It's kinda like taking up two spaces in the parking lot because I feel my car is too good...damnit, my caboose is royalty bitches.

    I ran into the bathroom, and some punk fucking kid decided that he'd take advantage of the shit-inclined, because as I sat down on the toilet, I heard a squishy noise emanate from the commode. Of course I didn't know what it was, but after my business was taken care of and I flushed (twice for good measure), I realized that my body wasn't allowing me to stand. SOME MOTHER FUCKING KID SUPER GLUED ME TO THE SEAT!

    I yelled to the top of my lungs, "SOMEONE HELP ME! I'M STUCK!" and all I heard were snickers coming from the stall beside me. I then decided that while I was there, I would ask if he had a square to spare, but of course, he couldn't spare a square. Damn hoarders of toilet tissue. At any rate, the paramedics were called, and boy was it ever annoying for them to use the Jaws of life to get me off.

    At any rate, I don't appreciate the laughter I got walking through the waiting room with a fucking toilet seat glued to my ass. I also don't expect the potty humor from my doctor. It's just been a shitty day, and now I'm going to take a dump.
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  2. S
    Edited By: The Alchemist Apr 7th, 2011 at 05:20 AM
    Reason: no one ever does S
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  3. T
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  4. F
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  5. O.

    Edited By: BirdWings Apr 7th, 2011 at 05:33 AM
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  6. T

    Yeah, that's right. I WAS spending the whole night sitting the fuck on toilets!! That's the whole prob!
    Edited By: rocksolid124 Apr 7th, 2011 at 05:24 AM
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  7.  
    Originally Posted by BirdWings View Post

    O

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  8.  
    Originally Posted by BirdWings View Post

    O

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  9. lol budo too much wine tonight thought that S was a G
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  10.  
    Originally Posted by BirdWings View Post

    O


    lol fucking fale
    Edited By: gutbirdxx Apr 7th, 2011 at 05:29 AM
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  11.  
    Originally Posted by BirdWings View Post

    O

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  12.  
    Originally Posted by The Alchemist View Post

    S

     
    Originally Posted by Bonestein View Post

    T

     
    Originally Posted by gutbirdxx View Post

    F

    U

    haha, just read phi's thread. icwudt.
    Edited By: MissBecky Apr 7th, 2011 at 05:34 AM
    Reason: you'll have to excuse my friend, he's a little slow.
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  13.  
    Originally Posted by BirdWings View Post

    lol budo too much wine tonight thought that S was a G


    I don't think you get it.

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  14. OT looking like a med ward lately.
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  15.  
    Originally Posted by goofy2485 View Post

    OT looking like a med ward lately.

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  16. Looool time for me to sign off...Sit The Fuck Down...the toilet seat got me. Double fail :/
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  17.  
    Originally Posted by goofy2485 View Post

    OT looking like a med ward lately.


    the sun has been rising lately as well.
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  18.  
    Originally Posted by budo09 View Post


    This is an awesome gif
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  19. pics or gtfo
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