It's all i ever here anymore from my family and friends "when you guys having a kid?".

Meanwhile all these people are miserable. What they're really saying is "I fucking hate that you don't have kids and can do whatever you want. Please have a kid so you're a miserable as me". My wife really wants to start trying sometime this year, so i guess we'll see.

people that think they are missing out on "me" time by having kids are kinda pathetic IMO. embrace the decisions you make, and dont feel sorry for yourself. seriously, how fucked up does your psychology have to be to view your kid as holding you back?

I will definitely wait till I'm like 35 though, lol.

OP, i think the people making these comments had unplanned pregnancies. Which would make them feel stripped of their youth. Just another bullshit excuse for people to quit life and whore it up for a year, which society obv perpetuates to be acceptable.

 

Originally Posted by djoshaz

that basically sums up my same thoughts. ^ misery loves company? i'm not saying this across the board, but it's starting to become increasingly popular with my friends. really discourages me to ever have kids. this is a fuck trophy free zone.

my family keeps asking me when imma settle down meet someone and have a rugrat my reply im 26 wait til im like 35-40 to find someone then take it slow til she goes through menopause. find out how nutty she is after before i settle down. f kids imo.

partially cuz i watch over one of my nieces and one of my nephews everytime im home from the road for my sis. so i got kids and there as much mine as prolly 50 % of people out there who think they are the biological father but they aren't but still raising the kid.

partially cuz i don't think i would be a good father/end up in jail for child abuse when i spank him/her in the middle of a store.

wtf is with the overzealous child abuse charges these days?

I have two kids and hand my first at 23 so I was fairly young. I was the guy who was saying at the time, that I am pretty excited to be a dad mostly because I didn't want any negativity towards my future kid, but on the inside I had wished I waited. My first child was a girl (even worse for most guys). I would say in hind-sight it's basically what Sooners said, they are definately a challenge but I can't imagine my life without them. Ok, well scratch that, I can imagine my life without my kids but it couldn't possibly be as good as my life now. I am not promoting having kids if you feel you need to wait then you can, and probbaly should wait.

Kids are a game changer, there is a certain fear that you cannot have (IMO) until you are a parent worrying about your kids. At times I think back on my life and can picture it being better for me without kids, and I can't say I regret anything, but I can imagine that my personal life would be better if I hadn't had kids so young. I think a decent part of that is that I play poker and feel like without family obligations I would have had most likely had more money to play and more opportunities to have build my bankroll earlier. But I have to say my mindset now while typing the last sentance seems pretty fucking selfish to me. Because my kids and wife went on vacation today without me, and I missed them before they left. I know my life for the next week will be sitting around playing poker trying to make money waiting on them to come home. Although I can picture how cool my life would be without my kids, I can say after having kids I would be empty in a lot of ways. Once you have kids you will understand that it feels better for me to do shit for my kids, that it does to do things for myself.

I guess I am probably coming off very pro having kids, but I think that is the mindset you develop, or should develop as a parent. I can totally understand why people who don't have kids want to wait That may absolutely be that more responsible way to go. have friends who had kids youngish and things didn't work out with the girl and it was a dramafest. I guess when it is all said in done I would tell someone who is having kids youngish, or who didn't expect to have kids, that you life will be slightly worse in ways but greatly better in a lot of other ways. (I don't know why shit went from standard, to itallics then back, I am drunk so for the grammar police take it easy.)

 

Originally Posted by Moonlight Graham

It's all i ever here anymore from my family and friends "when you guys having a kid?".

Meanwhile all these people are miserable. What they're really saying is "I fucking hate that you don't have kids and can do whatever you want. Please have a kid so you're a miserable as me". My wife really wants to start trying sometime this year, so i guess we'll see.

If you don't have any happy friends with kids you need to find some new friends.

Best thing I ever did.

Never for an instant

 

Originally Posted by MissBecky

never a regret. ever.

same

Dont want to try and hijack the thread, but i was wondering not if anyone regrets having kids or having kids at a certain point in their life but do people regret having kids with a significant other, be it an ex-wife/husband or just an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend, or fuck it just an ex-fuck buddy or one night stand.

I don't have any kids but i've had two pregnancy scares with two different women in my lifetime. While i would never regret having a kid and would give the kid my unconditional love i definitely would have regretted having a kid with my ex, if that makes any sense.

I don't think this is the case with any of them, I would actually bet not one of your friends feels this way. Most likely the reason your friends are asking when you are going to have kids is because of how much they have changed their lives for the better. Before I had kids I always thought similar to what you are saying, my friends had kids and I didn't hear from them much anymore. I thought they were probably jealous that I could go do whatever. Then I had kids and I realized that they are the best thing that ever happened to me and I want my friends to have the same experience.

My wife and I now hang out with a lot with the friends of ours that have kids. Mainly because we would rather be around our kids as much as possible and we can bring them along.

 

Originally Posted by Moonlight Graham

Meanwhile all these people are miserable. What they're really saying is "I fucking hate that you don't have kids and can do whatever you want. Please have a kid so you're a miserable as me". My wife really wants to start trying sometime this year, so i guess we'll see.

I wouldn't call it regret but I had my daughter before I got married, and yes it was unplanned. After 7 years we have split up and I think that had we been married first instead, I may have decided to leave a lot sooner and probably would have never had my kid. That would have been regrettable because she is fantastic and I can't imagine my life without her at this point. I do regret that she has had to go through the separation/divorce.

My son couldn't have come sooner.

Best thing that ever happened to me and it isn't even close.