<a target="_blank" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.postgameheroes.com/?p=6600">http://www.postgameheroes.com/?p=6600

Top 10 at each position is linked to here. I can't find all of the ratings though

btw, obvious repost required for this thread

To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden �07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I�ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever� except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

It�s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. Fuck, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod �He Hate Me� Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

I guess I just can�t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. Fuck, man, there are some shitty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don�t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he�d look just like Jabba the Hut.

<TABLE cellSpacing=5 cellPadding=0 width=200 align=right border=0><TBODY><TR><TD align=middle><SPAN class=copy></SPAN></TD></TR><TR><TD class=caption align=middle>Red Alert!</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>John, you are such a fucking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fucking zero? So you feel that I shouldn�t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn�t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fucking face. Fuck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let�s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I�m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I�m a fucking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass fuckwad that can�t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

<TABLE cellSpacing=5 cellPadding=0 width=200 align=left border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=caption align=middle>When I'm not snapping balls, I snap necks.</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>Fuck you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you fuck with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright

That Ethan Albright e-mail always brings me to tears

 

Originally Posted by DaVols

 

Originally Posted by curiousgeorge

who is the first defense player listed?

A sick raiders DB

I think they'd be better served with a healthy player.

d'angelo williams a 94? WOW

...and i'm a panthers fan

 

Originally Posted by Bob Futon

That Ethan Albright e-mail always brings me to tears

This is the first time I ever read it, and I was indeed in tears, and had to look away a few times and contain myself since I am at work. If I was at home, it woulda been the best laugh I have had since:

<OBJECT height=344 width=425><PARAM NAME="movie" VALUE="http://www.youtube.com/v/E5S3M_k88AE&hl=en&fs=1"><PARAM NAME="allowFullScreen" VALUE="true"><PARAM NAME="allowscriptaccess" VALUE="always"> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/E5S3M_k88AE&hl=en&fs=1" mce_src="http://www.youtube.com/v/E5S3M_k88AE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></OBJECT>

nice, tom brady doesn't even play last year and Brees comes within 15 yards of breaing the all time passing yardage/season record; yet brady is ahead of brees

 

Originally Posted by Camz2895

nice, tom brady doesn't even play last year and Brees comes within 15 yards of breaing the all time passing yardage/season record; yet brady is ahead of brees

theres the new orleans homer i was waiting for!

lol at even comparing brees and brady

 

Originally Posted by Camz2895

Yea you're right, brees doesn't hold a candle to brady. I was talking about the ratings dipshit. On one hand you have Deangelo hall(see thread) who had a shitty season with OAK, got traded to WSH, and drops from a 93 to 68. On the other hand you have Brady, who didn't even play, and he keeps a 98 rating. What exactly are these ratings based off of?

Common sense sounds about right, I doubt anyone at Madden ever even thought about putting Brees above Brady.