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my dads balls are bleeding

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  1. Luho Luho is offline

    Columbia, MO
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 2:53am) in reply to Jsup

    Love ya Beki!

    Jsup, what do you want us to say? Cut em off?

    Screw it, nice level
     
  2. ChasingMyTail ChasingMyTail is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 2:54am) in reply to Luho

    Your dad has finally mastered the art of autofellatio, and apparently he likes it rough.
  3. Jsup Jsup is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 2:58am) in reply to ChasingMyTail

    why the fuck would i be leveling? im reading shit online and it seems to be common...i was hoping someone could reply with some medical expertise since i know there are doctors here like mupokerplayer..or someone who has had this happen to them or their family or friends...obv my first reaction was er also but from what im reading on google i dont know if he needs to go...just want some opinions from people who know what they are talking about not just someone random saying "zomg bloody balls ur gonna die"...but the few people who seem semi qualified say er so er it might be time to go there...thanks ot
    Thread Starter
  4. SirLiesAlot SirLiesAlot is offline

    MI
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:03am) in reply to Jsup

    If it takes your entire family to figure out wether bleeding balls deserves an ER trip maybe you and your brother should just get snipped right now. Or at least go gay. Although not with each other. I only felt the need to specify because of well, this thread.
  5. MUPokerPlayer MUPokerPlayer is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:09am) in reply to SirLiesAlot

    all i got is bloody balls. i mean, blood doesn't just come from no where. there's gotta be a cut or a ulcer or an abrasion or a tumor or a lesion of some kind. gotta give me something more to work with. did he cut himself trying to trim his sack or something? i doubt it is something that needs an ER trip unless he is losing a bunch of blood.
  6. Luho Luho is offline

    Columbia, MO
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:12am) in reply to MUPokerPlayer

    according to what i was reading from the op, it sounded like it was an unknown etiology. that'd qualify for ER from my perspective. I'm not screwing around with this situation unless it is a cut.
    Edited By: Luho Apr 27th, 2011 at 03:13 AM
     
  7. Jsup Jsup is offline

    Manhattan, NY
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:15am) in reply to MUPokerPlayer

    no he wasnt shaving his balls hes almost 70..he said he got out of the shower and was drying himself off and noticed blood, said it started bleeding a lot like dripping with blood...that stopped after a few minutes but was still bleeding...said it looked like a purple cut, like a tiny pin sized hole...he said its stopped bleeding, he iced his balls for like a half hour while laying down...now hes watching the bulls game and said hes gonna call his doctor tomorrow morning...im just hoping it isnt cancer or something serious, but from what i read it seems like this happens to lots of old dudes
    Thread Starter
  8. Luho Luho is offline

    Columbia, MO
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:21am) in reply to MUPokerPlayer

    In all seriousness, I hope it turns out okay Jsup. I'm glad to hear it's stopped bleeding. I hope he gets good news in the morning from his physician.
     
  9. Glo4m Glo4m is offline Confess to me

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:22am) in reply to Luho

    Hey OP I'm glad your Dad's balls are ok.
  10. SmokeyCasinos SmokeyCasinos is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:24am) in reply to Glo4m

    Suck the poison out!!
  11. XquiziVex XquiziVex is offline

    French Polynesia

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:25am) in reply to SmokeyCasinos

    When I get bloody balls, I use Neosporin and duct tape.
  12. SpankyHamm SpankyHamm is offline

    Altamonte Springs, FL
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:27am) in reply to XquiziVex

    dad: Honey, do I have a cut on my back or something, I'm seeing blood in the shower
    mom: I'm not coming in there, you've tried that one too many times
    dad: No, this time I'm serious.
    mom: Sigh. Fine, but I'm not staying in there more than 15 seconds. Turn around.

    mom walks in and sees the blood in the bathtub

    mom checks dad's back and doesn't see anything except for the 12 moles that have been there the last 19 years, but none are bleeding

    dad turns around and mom see that his sack is all bloody

    mom: OMG, you sack is all bloody?
    dad: are you serious?

    dad places his hands around his sack and pulls back a hand that looks like Carrie at the prom.

    mom: OMG, what do we do now?
    dad: well you could help me try and clean this up
    mom: we've been over this...

    dad grabs a towel and cleans himself off while mom is walking around all panicky.

    mom decides to call her son:

    mom: honey, your dad's balls are all bloody
    Jsup: hi mom, I'm fine, thanks for asking.
    mom: sorry honey, but I'm serious
    Jsup: I really don't want to hear this, you know.
    mom: you really are your dad's son.
    Jsup: What does that mean?
    mom: Never mind. Do you think we should go to the emergency room?
    Jsup: Well, I mean bleeding from your balls doesn't sound that bad. Let me check with the guys in OT and see what they say.
    mom: What's OT?
    Jsup: Just some people I know on the internet. There are a bunch of smart guys there.
    mom: OK, well hurry up.
    Jsup: Will do. Just keep some pressure on it to stop the bleeding.
    mom: Ha ha. [click]
    Edited By: SpankyHamm Apr 27th, 2011 at 03:28 AM
     
  13. BigGunX BigGunX is offline Mr OT Party

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:28am) in reply to MissBecky

     
    Originally Posted by MissBecky View Post

    so that's 3 pharmacists we will have in ot. things are starting to happen now! ;)

    congrats. <3

    PittProduct is a pharmacist too.

    Whole lotta drug dealing in OT.
     
  14. SpankyHamm SpankyHamm is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 3:29am) in reply to BigGunX

     
    Originally Posted by BigGunX View Post

    PittProduct is a pharmacist too.

    Whole lotta drug dealing in OT.

    Well that adds about 18 more OT'ers that are "pharmacists".
     
  15. sketchy1 sketchy1 is offline Dangerzone

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 4:12am) in reply to SpankyHamm

    "oh i see, i just read on the internet, a lot of men bleed from the balls when they are old."

    i really hope i never have to utter that phrase, ever in my life.
      
  16. Lameass_ Lameass_ is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 4:19am) in reply to sketchy1

    so i was trying to google this and i thought id come to OT for help...

    idk dipshit, maybe call the fucking dr/nurse?
  17. heynow21 heynow21 is offline

    Kansas, OK
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 4:20am) in reply to Lameass_

    My insurance company has a nurse line to call for shit like this and I pray my dad's does too so I never have to hear this from him.
     
  18. norcaljeff norcaljeff is offline 2010 OT Thread Kill Leader

    San Francisco, CA
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 4:37am) in reply to heynow21

    ecu is praying for your dad's nuts
  19. the_schmenx the_schmenx is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 5:23am) in reply to norcaljeff

    Do your parents have any pets?
  20. DONKWOOD DONKWOOD is offline

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    Japan

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 5:42am) in reply to budo09

     
    Originally Posted by budo09 View Post

    Welp. I hate myself.

    oh for fucks sake, why do I always do this to myself???? I had to go look at the blue waffle just to calm myself down.......
  21. ihaterats ihaterats is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 5:59am) in reply to DONKWOOD

    I fucking love jsup. Where have you been man? All of you youngsters need to respect the man. He is an oooold school OTer

    F beanie
  22. the_schmenx the_schmenx is offline

    Burgh
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 6:02am) in reply to ihaterats

    Really no advice, just will add some music, F JSUP F BEANIE

  23. MissBecky MissBecky is offline if you're nasty

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 6:06am) in reply to BigGunX

     
    Originally Posted by Luho View Post

    Love ya Beki!

    <3

     
    Originally Posted by BigGunX View Post

    PittProduct is a pharmacist too.

    Whole lotta drug dealing in OT.

    sweet. it seems we have several attorneys/pharmacists in ot. hmmm. is that saying something? ;)

    we only have one doctor and no dentists from what i know. ot needs a damn dentist!!
  24. Jsup Jsup is offline

    Manhattan, NY
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 6:07am) in reply to ihaterats

    what up ess hows it going? ya i didnt open up p5s for like a year...lurk occasionally now thought i could get some help lol...do u remember my little brother from aruba? hes getting married in 2 months...saw the post about ur daughter, awesome stuff

    schmex....fuck ur mother with ur fist
    Edited By: Jsup Apr 27th, 2011 at 06:07 AM
    Thread Starter
  25. ihaterats ihaterats is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 6:14am) in reply to Jsup

     
    Originally Posted by Jsup View Post

    what up ess hows it going? ya i didnt open up p5s for like a year...lurk occasionally now thought i could get some help lol...do u remember my little brother from aruba? hes getting married in 2 months...saw the post about ur daughter, awesome stuff

    schmex....fuck ur mother with ur fist

    How can I not remember Bsup? Terrible at drunken limit h/e. I am sure your mom is glad that he is getting married so she doesn't have to worry about you taking him to whorehouses.

    I have told this story before but for you young and new OTers I will tell it again. I was in Aruba playing 4/8 limit with jsup, his brother, and some of their friends. Jsup drank at least 30 draft beers and was killing the game. Annette, who was underage of course, was playing 10-20 nl or something. She yelled over for jsup to get in their game and he yelled back that he wanted to fuck her in the ass. I fucking fell out
  26. normlfella normlfella is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 6:26am) in reply to ihaterats

    lol Spanky's hypothetical was gold imo


    PM Ricky.... i heard he has a wealth of knowledge re: bleeding from that general area of the male anatomy
  27. Jsup Jsup is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 6:27am) in reply to ihaterats

    u left out the best part...i then went on to drink another 20 beers and have a 3some with 2 columbian hoars who were hot enough to be in playboy, for about $39 us dollars...probably fed her 8 kids for a month with those monies...ah i miss aruba those 4-8 limit games were the best thing ever...i remember scotty nyqguen walking by us that night and said to me "you got a mountain of chips baby"
    Thread Starter
  28. gutbirdxx gutbirdxx is offline

    Spokane, WA
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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 7:02am) in reply to ihaterats

     
    Originally Posted by ess286 View Post

    How can I not remember Bsup? Terrible at drunken limit h/e. I am sure your mom is glad that he is getting married so she doesn't have to worry about you taking him to whorehouses.

    I have told this story before but for you young and new OTers I will tell it again. I was in Aruba playing 4/8 limit with jsup, his brother, and some of their friends. Jsup drank at least 30 draft beers and was killing the game. Annette, who was underage of course, was playing 10-20 nl or something. She yelled over for jsup to get in their game and he yelled back that he wanted to fuck her in the ass. I fucking fell out

    omfg legendary!!
  29. MUPokerPlayer MUPokerPlayer is offline

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 7:06am) in reply to Jsup

     
    Originally Posted by Jsup View Post

    u left out the best part...i then went on to drink another 20 beers and have a 3some with 2 columbian hoars who were hot enough to be in playboy, for about $39 us dollars...probably fed her 8 kids for a month with those monies...ah i miss aruba those 4-8 limit games were the best thing ever...i remember scotty nyqguen walking by us that night and said to me "you got a mountain of chips baby"

    i dunno... the best part of the story for me is you telling an underage female poker star that you want to fuck her ass by yelling it across the poker room. loool
  30. MissBecky MissBecky is offline if you're nasty

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    Apr 27th, 2011 (4/27/2011 7:08am) in reply to ihaterats

     
    Originally Posted by ess286 View Post

    Annette, who was underage of course, was playing 10-20 nl or something. She yelled over for jsup to get in their game and he yelled back that he wanted to fuck her in the ass.

    so what you're saying is jsup has a way with the ladies?
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